


Promises at Sundown

by Rlillies



Series: The Last of the Old Guard [1]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games), The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But mostly angst, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Inconsistent POV changes, Joel (The Last of Us) Lives, M/M, Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Temporary Character Death, but its a the old guard so that shouldn't be suprising, i give booker a lot of shit but i actually love him, it gets steadily darker every chapter, no beta we die like booker, semi-graphic description of torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 81,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rlillies/pseuds/Rlillies
Summary: Many things have changed in the past twenty-five years for Joel, one being the fact that infected now roam the earth. What he didn't think was going to change was his inevitability of him dying someday, some would even say that he seeks out his own death. Nonetheless Joel doesn't understand why or how he is still alive, doesn't know why he has been dreaming of six other strange assortment of people, some traveling together and the other two off on their own. He doesn't know how he is alive after taking that beating from Abby, he doesn't understand what has happened to him but he does know that he will get his revenge.-An AU where Joel doesn't die (or he does but comes back because the old guard) and ends up finding a new family while searching for his revenge along side Ellie.TLOU fans you don't have to really know what the old guard is to understand this, I try to explain most stuff either within the fic or in my authors notes. I do recommend watching the movie though because it's amazing and so well done.TITLE CHANGED FROM THE LAST OF THE OLD GUARD TO PROMISES AT SUNDOWNtitle from future days by pearl jam
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: The Last of the Old Guard [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908496
Comments: 171
Kudos: 162





	1. ain’t no grave

**Author's Note:**

> for the ones in either fandom that doesn't know a whole lot about either one.  
> The Last of Us is a post-apocalyptic video game with a fancy zombie-like virus. The main character in the first game is Joel and the main character in the second game is Ellie, Ellie is immune and Joel (in the first game) has to take her across country to try to make a cure. (I highly either watching a playthrough of the game, actually playing it if video games are your thing, or looking up a summary of it to understand a bit more) 
> 
> The Old Guard is a movie based off of a comic book series about a group of immortals, each immortal find out they are immortal in different time periods and in different ways. Even thought they don't age and heal back from fatal injuries, even dying by many. They are still able to die permanently. The movie is on netflix and I highly recommend anyone who has not watched it to watch it. It is an amazingly made movie with amazing queer and POC representation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from aint no grave jonny cash

Joel can taste the copper tones of his own blood in his mouth, combined with traces of vomit that came up somewhere between now and when he started getting beaten down by this strange group and powerful woman. His body is in the most pain he has ever experienced, worse than when he fell onto the rebar that impaled him front to back that first winter with Ellie. 

He doesn’t know why or how he is still alive. Doesn’t know if he is being kept alive by the group or by some higher being. Or if his body is too selfish to give up on himself.

The feeling in his left leg was lost relatively soon after he was shot, then shortly after he lost the overall feeling of his bottom half sometime after the golf club was slammed down on his spine. He can barely move his fingers, only getting twitches anytime he tries. Before he tries to succumb to the darkness of unconsciousness, he hears a muffled commotion. 

He tries to lift his heavy head, tries to turn and find the cause of the commotion. All he can do is toss his head so he is facing the door. His left eye widens, the right eye being too damaged to even blink open, see the outline of his daughter and an even blurrier version of who he believes to be Jesse.

If he could, he would laugh. This girl has always been impulsive. It seems that she is trying to help him, she tries to ambush the group, but there are too many for her to take head on even with the help of Jesse. Two people end up knocking Jesse out with one violent hit to his head and pinning Ellie, preventing her from escaping or even helping him. Something happens, causing one man to start aggressively beating her in the stomach and face, magnifying Joel’s desire to get up and defend Ellie. He tries to drown out her grunts of pain after being kicked in the stomach multiple times, knowing he’s unable to do anything for her. 

Thankfully, one of their own pulls the man off of her, a short lady from the looks of it. She has short hair and her feistiness towards the taller man somewhat reminds him of Ellie. The lady pulls the man aside and says something to him, pissing him off even further. Luckily though, the man doesn’t go back to beating Ellie. 

The group starts arguing about something. Most likely the fate of Ellie, an unknown that they didn’t calculate, everything they’re saying is completely unintelligible to Joel’s broken eardrums. The only good thing about the suspense is that they are no longer hurting Ellie.

A man says something to Abby, causing her to finally turn towards him, and with a final look into his damaged eyes, she sneers something unheard at him. To make matters worse, she spits onto his broken down body. 

That’s when he can start to hear the muffled cries of his babygirl, begging their captors to let him go, for him to get up, and finally the worst of them all. That she will kill them all. The last thing he hears before Abby finally smashes his head in, are the only words he hears clearly. 

“DAD!” 

His eyes open as much as they can, and he whimpers out “Babygirl…” right as the golf club is brought down on his skull, crushing his head and splattering his brains everywhere. His last thoughts are of Ellie, and how he never said that he sees her as family, as one of his own, before everything is dark and he fades into nothingness. 

  
  
  


—————————-

All four of them are in an abandoned two-story house, each one sleeping in the same room— a habit that they have picked up since the outbreak. Joe holds Nicky in the larger bed, Andy sleeping up against a wall while cradling Nile’s head in her lap. Everyone starts getting the familiar flashes of dreams. Dreams of another one. 

Andy, like last time, 26 long years ago, is the first to wake up. Everyone else jolts awake. Joe snatches his sketchbook from his backpack, rushing to rough out the details of the man's face right before it was smashed in. 

Gripping both Nile’s shoulder and her own head, Andy grunts out in frustration, “No! So soon and right fucking now?” 

Everyone talking over each other, Nile is the first to blurt out what she can remember from the chaotic flashes. 

“It was a man, he was being… tortured?” 

“He was surrounded by a group of ten? Maybe less? They were all in the same group though, I saw matching patches on their jackets, some… type of canine on it.” Andy adds. 

Nicky realizes what was on their jackets, helping to identify where it is that they’ll have to go.“It was the WLF, Washington Liberation Front… but what were they doing with the man.” 

“It doesn’t  _ matter  _ what they needed with him, he is one of us now.  _ We  _ need to find him before he gets bitten and freaks out.” Andy cuts Nicky off, form on them having to find this man soon. 

“There was some else though… in more focus than the other people surrounding him.” Joe cuts off, trying to put his finger on what, or more of a who that was. 

“A girl! She was pinned down by the group… I only heard one thing in the whole exchange.” 

Nile finally connects the dots, feeling remorse for what both the girl and the man are going to have to go through to deal with this man's newfound immortality. “She called out for him… shit, he has a kid.” 

Andy finally gets up from her -rather uncomfortable- resting position, looking at her small family. “Well, the only lead we have so far is the WLF, which means we have to go to Seattle. Try to find him, or find some leads on where he is.” she mumbles that last bit under her breath, “This was so much easier with Nile.”

  
  


—————————

Booker wakes up alone, like he has for the past twenty-five years. This time it’s not to the nightmare of selling his family out for the possibility of his own demise, but to the visions of another one of them. 

Another immortal.

_ Fuck me.  _ Booker thinks,  _ guess I’m gonna have to try to go and find this man, help him understand what is happening to him.  _

Booker starts to plan out his route to Jackson, having recognized who the man is. Who, and of course it’s Joel-fucking-Miller. The man that basically doomed the rest of humanity by taking that girl from the fireflies. 

But hey, this man will be family to Booker. He can’t fuck up his family, not again. He’s been alone, truly alone, for too long. 

Hopefully, this man will understand the dangers of staying connected to Ellie and his brother, because of what is happening to him and his inability to share it. 

—————————

Ellie rolls into consciousness by hearing her name being shouted in her ear by a familiar voice. A voice that she should definitely not be hearing based on what she remembers. Unless of course, she has died. 

But Ellie doesn’t think she has died, her head is pounding too hard for her to be dead. She is too cold and in pain to be dead. 

She slowly blinks her eyes open, she sees the figure of Joel cradling her. She blinks again, expecting for Joel to disappear or to morph into the form of the boy she tried to ambush the group with.Because he can’t possibly be in front of her. Can’t possibly be okay enough to be holding her.

He doesn’t. 

“Babygirl, you’re okay, oh thank god” Joel cradles her to his chest, as if she’s the one that’s been mortally wounded. His words seem to have finally woken her up. She pushes him away, assuming that the man holding her is impersonating her father, impersonating the man she just saw have his brains splattered across the floor. 

She ends up throwing herself back instead of pushing ‘Joel’ off of her. She frantically scooted back, reaching into her pocket to grab her switchblade. To stab this impersonator in front of her. To get him away from her. 

She’s able to get to her knife before the impersonator can stop her, and she takes a swipe of her knife at him, cutting into his forearm. 

He steps back, putting light pressure on the wound Ellie gave him. 

“Nonono Ellie! It’s me!” ‘Joel’ holds his hands in the air, showing that he has no weapons and that he means to be no threat to the young woman in front of him.

He slowly moves towards her. “I don’t know what happened to me… I know I should be dead after…” he pauses, trying to collect and understand what has happened to him. “... After everything  _ they  _ did to me, but I’m not. If anything I feel better than I’ve ever been for the past twenty years or so.” 

Ellie shakes her head in disbelief, that the man in front is her can't possibly be Joel. It doesn’t make sense, he seems to have major injuries on him… his clothing is destroyed with blood, rips and tears galore, but absolutely no physical injury on him. No cut, scrape, or scar from the beating he’s taken. 

She finally looks at him, the man in front of her looks like her Joel, same facial scars, same salt and pepper hair, and the same gruffly weird Texas-accent. 

“You… you can’t be? I saw his head get smashed… I saw  **_your_ ** head get smashed in. There is no way you could have survived that, especially with nothing to show for it!” With every ‘you’ Ellie pushes at the man in front of her.

“I don’t know Ellie… I really don’t.” He looks down at his body and gestures to his right leg. “I know my leg should be broken, completely unusable… but it’s fine!” 

Ellie is dumbfounded, she doesn’t know what’s going on. This is even more confusing then when she didn’t lose her mind with Riley, when she found out she was immune. This whole situation makes absolutely no sense to her. 

No matter that this man in front of her looks like Joel, and sounds like him, she can’t trust that it’s him completely. 

_ What makes more sense, Joel  _ not  _ dying from that, or some type of clone-Joel. Definitely clone-Joel.  _

Ellie sucks in a large breath of air, trying to fill her lungs. “You need to prove it. Tell me something only  _ my _ Joel would know.” 

‘Joel’ nods in understanding. “You are immune to the Cordyceps, and you were bitten when you were 13 with your best friend Riley at that time. You were then given to—“ he cuts off, trying to get her name out when he hasn’t spoken of her in years. “—to Tess and I… by Marlene.” 

Ellie cuts him off with a hug, knowing that she has told no one the full story other than Joel. Ellie launches herself into his arms with no fear of hurting him if what he said was true. She starts to uncharacteristically cry into his shoulder. His arms hold her tight to his chest, afraid to let go of her after the year of distance between them. 

In between her sobs, she stumbles out that she thought he died, that she was never going to be able to see him again. She said a few more things that weren’t understandable through her sobbing into his shoulder. 

“Shh baby girl, I’m right here. I’m okay.” He rubs her back as she clutches his shirt. 

After the breakdown that Ellie  _ definitely  _ did not have about Joel’s ‘death’, she steps back and evaluates the scene and what has happened. Both Joel and Ellie’s eyes fall upon the cold bodies of Jesse and Tommy at the same time, each of their facial expressions scream out ‘oh shit’. 

Joel rushes to Tommy’s body while Ellie crawls over to the boy that she may have just killed by forcing him to join her on her dumbass mission to try and save Joel. She gets to the cold and unnaturally pale body of her best friend and her tears reluctantly return to her. 

Jesse lays there, eyes closed with a bullet wound in his forehead. 

Before Ellie can process what has happened with Jesse, she hears Joel’s reaction to his brother. 

“They killed Tommy…” 


	2. away i did run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from little sadie by the crooked still

His feet seem to drag in the snow behind him, bringing him closer and closer to his end goal of Jackson, and the man that undoubtedly his whole family are dreaming of. Booker's pack is light on his back, only filled with the essentials that he needs. Guns, ammo, and some melee weapon that he picked up a couple miles back. 

If his map and calculations are correct, which he hopes they are, he should be within fifteen miles of Jackson. Meaning almost eight more hours of walking in the cold shallow snow. 

The dreams have been indicating that Joel (alongside Ellie) are planning on traveling to Seattle to avenge his brother's death. If they leave before Booker can reach them, he is screwed. They will be on horseback and he is stuck walking and hiking through this shitty terrain. Which means if he misses them, or doesnt catch them before they are out of the Jackson area, it will take him even longer to find. No doubt risking running into his family much sooner than he is supposed to be seeing them. Seventy five years earlier. 

_Shit_. 

* * *

“No Ellie, you can’t come with me. I can’t allow that.” Joel barks, snapping at Ellie who just won’t let go of her leaving with him on this revenge mission. 

“YOU! Can’t allow what? Covering you? Taking revenge for what they-” She pauses to lower her voice, the unknown if anyone is listening in and hears the secret that they have been keeping from all of Jackson. “-they did to  _ you,  _ Tommy AND Jesse?” She laughs hysterically and shakes her head in disbelief. “No way you are leaving me behind, I’m either coming with you or following you when after you leave Jackson.” 

“Ellie, I dunno what kinda danger will be out there. Ya know those weird dreams I’ve told ya about?” Ellie just nods her head, confused on how this is relevant to her going to Seattle with him. “The group of four is also going to Seattle, I don’t know what that means but I can’t risk losing you.” 

Ellie is stunned for a second, the prospect of her and Joel even  _ attempting  _ to talk about their feelings sounds even impossible. Quickly, the girl shakes that thought from her head and fires back, “You don’t even know if they are  _ real _ !” 

Before Joel can properly retort, a knock on his front door is followed by the door opening and then closing behind the intruder. No doubt being Maria, trying to convince both of them that there is no reason to go on this ‘revenge plot’ of theirs. 

“Why even bother knocking on the door if you are just going to walk-in, Maria?” 

Maria walks into the Dinning room where Joel and Ellie have been arguing over while additionally packing their supplies. “Well, when I run the town you live in, and I'm the recent widow of your deceased brother. You can cut me some fucking slack.” She comes to a stop in front of the table, hands on her hips. Face demanding answers that she has already heard many times, hoping that the outcome will be different. 

“Now remind me what happened, and don't skip out on any details Old Man.” 

Joel sighs, putting his bag down and looking over at Ellie. A worried look in his eye that only Ellie is able to decipher, having exchanged this look many times in the past week. He leans his hands against the table and draws in a breath, having to recount the elaborate lie that Ellie and him had to create to explain whatever it is that happened to him without sounding crazy and insane. 

“Nothin’ has changed Maria, it happened how it happen.” 

“I know, just… tell it to me again.” 

“Tommy and I rescued a young woman that was surrounded by a horde. We were tryin’ to figure a way out, she brought up that she had a small group held up in the Baldwin Mansion. We were able to outrun the infected on our horses. We got to ‘er group and they took care of ‘em. Once we got into the building the group was acting all weird and twitchy so when they asked for our names…” Joel pauses, sucking in a breath. Hating this part, making it out as if it were Tommy’s fault for giving out his name. “Tommy said that his name was Joel.” 

Once Joel finishes his statement that when Maria butts in. 

“See that, that is what doesn’t make sense to me Joel… Tommy knows better than to give out any real names. Either his or anyone that we know.” 

Joel’s shoulders tense up, just a small enough degree. Unnoticeable to anyone observing him, even Maria with her ever calculating eyes only sees the constantly stressed Joel, a man mourning his dead brother. 

“I don’t know what to tell ya,” Joel shrugs. “We were tired and I at least did not see a reason to not give out our real names… Anyways, once Tommy said that he was ‘Joel’ I went the easy route sayin’ that I was Tommy. I thought a simple switch would suffice. I was wrong.” Maria frowns, her eyebrows furrowing. Creating an even deeper line on her forehead.

“They took Tommy and killed him, but not before they knocked me unconscious so I couldn’t interfere. Lucky Bastards.” He gestures over to Ellie, who had her head bent over her bag, not wanting to join in the conversation and mess anything up. “El and Jesse ended showing up sometime between when they knocked me out, and when they killed Tommy. They were able to get the jump on her and pin her down. Ellie says she don’t remember them shooting Jesse when they barged in so they may have done it afterwards.”

Maria pauses, “And she didn’t hear anything that explained why they were there, just got where they were from?” Ellie just shakes her head, the same answer that she gave the last few times she asked her. Maria lets out a sigh of disappointment, sadly not hearing any discrepancies from the last time she has heard the story or anything new. She has to, even though she doesn’t want to, understand that her husband is gone. “What I don’t understand is why they left you and Ellie alive when they killed Tommy and Jesse? The story you told makes sense for Tommy but why Jesse? Why kill him?” 

Ellie finally steps in, her hands subtly but anxiously twisting around themselves. “They may have killed him when we barged in. I don’t think I would have heard the gun shot because they knocked me out so quickly…” 

The widow grimmly nods, as if understanding on how quick and uncertain things can get when adrenaline and tensions are high. Maria sighs but finally gives her blessing to the father-daughter duo’s revenge plot, her resolve relenting. 

“I’ll let you two go, take your damn horses. Just get those assholes and come  _ home  _ as soon as you can. Jackson can’t take another heartbreak.” 

  
  
  
  


Ellie is carefully adjusting Shimmers saddle, ensuring that the buckles are tight and secure. Joel right beside her doing the same thing with his own horse. The duo are very thankful for Maria not only agreeing with their expedition, but also allowing them to take their horses. Most likely cutting the trip by half in travel time. 

“Be sure Shimmer is ready for a long trip El, we ain’t stopping until dark.” Joel grunts out. 

Ellie just hums an agreement, hands idly continuing what they were doing. Ellie knows what she has to do to prepare. She has done this before, not for as long of a trip that they are going to go on, but nonetheless. She so badly wants to tell Joel that she isn't a child anymore, but she doesn’t want to argue with him. Not after what happened to him. She definitely doesn't even want to think about what happened to him, and why he is okay or why he is even alive when Tommy died from less of a beating than what she saw Joel survive.

_ Nope, definitely not going to think that. Everything is okay and normal. Joel and I are just going to leave to run a simple mission. Everything is perfect and easy to understand.  _

“Are you ready to leave? We should get out of here before the sun is too high.” 

“Yeah, we should leave before Dina has a chance to catch up to us. I  _ really  _ don't want her to weasel out a way to come with us.” Ellie responds. Knowing that her…  _ girlfriend  _ will definitely try to go on this mission with her. Even though Ellie has bluntly told her no, and that this is something only for Joel and Ellie to do. 

Even if she does have something to do with it because of Jesse… 

_ No, nope, nada, none of that right now Ellie _

Vaulting himself up onto his horse, “Speaking of Dina…” 

Before he can even finish that thought, Ellie climbs onto Shimmer. “Nope, nope. We are not having this conversation.” She pushes Shimmer into a light trot out of the stables and towards the gate. 

He urges Callus II to speed up to a light trot to catch up with Shimmer, so they are side-by-side on the way to the gate. The stables themselves aren’t too far away from the gate, most likely only a couple hundred feet if Ellies were to guess. Right before they are within shouting distance to tell the guards on post to open the gates, their horses come to a halt. 

Dina is standing in front of Shimmer, her hands on her hips. Her intentions are very clear with the look on her face and the bag on her shoulder. Joel smirks to himself while Ellie groans beside him. 

“Dina! We already talked about this yo-” 

Before Ellie can even finish her sentence Dina throws up a hand. Stopping Ellie from telling her off and trying to discourage her. “No Ellie. You aren’t stopping me from going with you. You promised last time you ran off that you would let me know where you were going and that you would let me  **_join_ ** you. I'm not letting you back off from your promise.” 

Even though Ellie knows logically that she did promise Dina that almost two years ago now, but this is a whole different situation in which both her and Joel don’t know what exactly is happening and don't know what will happen when they get to Seattle. Or if something will happen where Joel will survive something that he definitely should not be able to survive. 

Dina looks at Ellie with a look in her eyes that ultimately makes Ellie go dry in the mouth and unable to reply to her. Ellie looks over at Joel, hoping that he will back her up, but it seems that he is unwilling to step into that fire and just shrugs. Showing that this decision is ultimately up to Ellie and Ellie alone. 

She lets out a long sigh, her resolve crumbling in the face of a determined Dina. Ellie looks up from Shimmers reigns and shrugs. Finally grunting out a quite “Fine” 

Dina, seeing that she is allowing her to come with, grips her bag with a tight white-knuckled grip and strides up to Shimmer’s side. Ellie offers her a hand to help her get up which DIna gladly accepts. 

Dina comfortably settles in behind Ellie, wrapping her arms around her waist and giving Ellie a small kiss on the back of her neck. Ellie gives a full body blush in response. 

“Yall better not be like that the whole trip.” Joel grumpily grunts out. The two girls just laugh in response. 

The team of two turned to a team of three to make their way to the gate, and finally are on their way to Seattle. Hoping that nothing too bad or surprising gets in their way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is quite a few days earlier than promised, but im posting this because its my birthday today and i can do whatever i want, this chapter was also supposed to have the immortal gang in it as well. but that would have wayyyy to long
> 
> i have started and am half way through chapter five and my doc is already over 30 pages and 12,000 words. im absolutely stunned by how much i have been writing.


	3. i didn't care much how long i lived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is double the size of the previous ones, and keep in mind. this chapter was supposed to be chapter two and it just became to long that i had to cut it up. 
> 
> i think it is just at 5000 words, which is a lot. so don't expect this length for every chapter.
> 
> title from work song by hozier

Nile throws her bag over her shoulder, groaning about how long the walk will be. Their group has been on their way up to Seattle from Santa Rosa, a tad north of San Francisco, for almost a week now. They have been keeping an eye out for any horses to speed up their trip, so far no luck. 

They stopped for the night in a cabin approximately ten miles south of some National Forest, If Nile were to try and guess. The cabin they found was surprisingly cleared of any infected, on the down side the lack of infected meant that the cabin has essentially been entirely looted.

“We have to go now,” Andy says, trying to get her small group to finally get ready to leave. “If we want to be halfway through the forest by nightfall we need to leave now.” 

“The sun isn't even up Andy!” Groans out Nile. The three older immortals look at her and chuckle at how young-sounding she is. Even though Nile may mentally be around fifty years old, she is still a baby to the three of them. 

“No, but the sun will be up in just a few minutes.” Sighs Andy. “And you will live.” 

Nile just lets out a loud and drawn out groan. 

  
  
  
  


They’ve been walking for only five hours, stopping occasionally to rest their feet and too munch on some of the food that they have reserved. Andy has been leading the group, Nile behind her just a few feet, Nicky up front with Andy talking in a mixture of Italian and another language she can’t place. No matter the ample time they’ve had to teach her the multitude of languages they know, Nile has only been able to fully grasp and become fluent in Italian (or an older version of it) and French. Joe keeps in step with Nile, the two exchanging small quips trying to get the other to laugh first. 

They are making slow progress towards Seattle, almost a week of walking behind them and they still have not made it out of California. The problem slowing them down is that Andy has been adamant about sticking to back roads or even cutting through ginormous forests. Andy is concerned about the amount of run-ins with other more violent groups on populated roads that they no longer desire to risk running into them. Even though the chance of them dying to other groups is _relatively_ low. They don’t wish to risk the immortality randomly quitting on them like it did for Andy the year before the outbreak (even though it came back right after the outbreak started). In short, the small family tends to be more cautious than they would have been pre-outbreak day. 

Hiking through the overgrown woods reminds Nicky and Joe of the time when they went by Nicolo and Yusef, of times before the madness of Cordyceps was a thing, before the madness of worrying about big ‘pharma’ companies discovering their immortality, reminds them of times when life was arguably simpler. Andy is in an even more nostalgic mood than the couple, herself remembering times when she was on her own, and walking from country to country, fighting in wars for no reason other than she did not know what else to do. Nile on the other hand doesn’t understand how anyone could have lived through this hundreds of years ago.

The group stumbles upon a small clearing with a farmhouse and fenced in pastures with an adjacent barn, most likely used to house horses. The farmhouse doesn’t look like anyone has lived in it for a few years, but looks can be very deceiving if Andy knows any differently (which she does). Up ahead ten feet or so is a gate leading to the overgrown pasture. Before the group can walk any further, Nile shouts out for everyone to freeze. 

Nile slowly walks in front of the group and crouches down, “There is a trip wire.” She points out. “It most definitely leads to a bomb.” 

“Which means someone has been here recently enough that nothing else has set off this trap.” Concludes Andy. 

Joe steps forward, shouldering off his shotgun, he then lays a hand on Andy’s shoulder. “Boss, we going in? Or moving around?”

The oldest immortal thinks it over, quickly making a pro and con list in her head. The possibility of more loot for the group of four outweighs the possibility of dying (not like it would stick) that Andy nodded. “We’ll go around and hide in the trees to the east of the entrance and through a rock to set off the trap. The noise should draw out any infected or non infected should there be.” 

Everyone quickly and quietly shuffles to the eastern side, Nile trailing in the back watching everyone’s sixes. Once a safe enough distance to draw out any infected without being spotted (or blown up), Nile grabs a large brick size rock and quickly launches it over her shoulder and hits the trip wire dead on. 

The second it hit a large explosion followed, blowing up the entrance and setting a bit of the grasses around it on fire. The explosion also let off a very loud boom, alerting anything that was in a couple mile radius of their location. 

The group waits a couple minutes, everyone's eyes on different locations. Andy eyeing up the farmhouse, Nicky keeping an eye on the barn further to the east, Joe keeping an eye back into the dense woods behind them, Nile watching the woods to the west. 

A few more minutes pass with no trouble. No infected running out to inspect the sound and no humans coming out to see what has set off their traps. Andy silently instructs the group to move forward. Everyone pulls out their weapons, prepared to the worst and hoping for the best. 

All four hop the tiny fence around the perimeter and make their way as a singular unit up to the farmhouse. Once finally on the porch, Andy tries the handle and luckily enough it swings open, already unlocked. They slowly walk in, weapons up and alert. 

The house seems very well kept and stocked, only a light layer of dust on top of everything, indicating that someone has lived here relatively recently. Joe and Nicky break off from the group and head to the left of the house, leading into a living room with a fireplace. Nile and Andy head the opposite way towards the kitchen.

Andy finds some pieces of cloth in some drawers that can eventually be turned into molotovs once they get a hold of some alcohol. The group continues scavenging the first floor. Luckily, it seems the prior resident was very stocked up and had an abundance of ammo, arrows, cloth, food, and truly anything that a post-apocalyptic-immortal desires in loot. 

Before the group can start to move to the second floor, they hear a loud crash and a series of groans, moans, and muffled screams. They all can very easily conclude that there is a runner in one of the rooms above them, most likely the previous resident that recently turned. 

Nicky is the first to react, he quickly strides his long legs to the stairway leading upstairs. His long sword out ready to cut down the runner. The other three follow him, just to be sure that he won’t be overwhelmed in case it’s more than one runner. 

Nicky steps forward and the wooden board that he steps on creaks and groans, the foot step being just loud enough to alert the runner of his whereabouts that it burst out of the room all the way across the hall from the stairwell. 

He runs at the infected and effectively decapitates it in one fell swoop. The head rolls away until it hits the wall to the right of them. The body falling down, completely limp devoid of any movement. 

Nicky steps over the infected, and walks into the room it came out of. The group of three quickly follows him, Joe walking faster than the other two women to catch up with his love. The room they step into looks to be the master bedroom, big bed with equally as large windows with sunlight filtering in and dancing around the room. The only thing interrupting this beautiful scene was a small dead body, seemingly in the middle of the decomposition process. 

“Oh shit.” Nicky softly lets out a very mild reaction to seeing a small dead body that most likely belonged to a child. The Italian steps forward to inspect the body. “The poor child, it looks like they were shot in the head.” 

Joe right behind him sees a note on the bedside table, he picks it up and starts reading the note out loud to the group of four. 

“ _Dear… whoever finds this._

_ Everything was going great, River’s birthday was coming up (her 10th) and Amy decided to make a run to the super store that was a few hours to the west to find her some type of gift. ~~We were hoping to find some cake mix.~~ She left a week ago. My nerves that something happened to her are over the roof, but there is nothing I could do with River still at home and unable to defend herself. The next day I made the dumbest decision in my whole life, and if I could take it back I would. I left to try to find Amy.  _

_I ended up finding her alright, as a recently turned runner. Before I was able to gather the courage in me to kill my wife, she was able to get a bite on my arm. Sadly, I didn’t notice until River pointed it out an hour later when I got back home. There was nothing else I could do, River wasn’t old enough to go out on her own without getting captured, raped, or killed violently… I sadly knew exactly what I had to do._

_I had to kill my baby girl, there was nothing else I could do! I hope god forgives me, because I don’t think I can do it to myself, I don’t think I’ll be able to pull the trigger on myself. It was hard enough to kill my daughter, and I’m to much of a coward to kill myself._

_I already feel my sanity leaving me, I’m trying to write this as quickly as I can before the infection takes over my whole mind and body. I hope that someone discovers us soon, so the horses in the barn out back won’t die. I left the barn door open partly, enough that they could force their way out. I tried to be sure they had enough food for a few weeks, but who knows._

_I'm so sorry to whoever finds us, if anyone will. I’m sorry that you will have to cut me down as one of those infected and possibly waste a bullet on a coward like me._

_-Rory”_

Everyone was silent, the heaviness of what has happened in this room probably not even a month ago. The first one to say anything is Nile, herself letting out a quite cry of ‘fuck’, mourning the life of the child that died in this horrible world by her own fathers hand. 

The team thankfully are able to step back from however shitty the situation is, and quickly and quietly loot the room for anything that could be of use to the group of immortals. Trying to not disturb the body of the child. 

“We need to go check if there are horses in the barn…” Andy says the thing that they have all been thinking but haven’t wanted to say, the thought that saying such a thing could be considered inconsiderate for the recently murdered child. 

They make the trek back down the stairs, Andy and Nile hitting the two rooms off to the side for any leftover belongings from the family of three that used to reside here. Nicky and Joe hurt more by the young ones death than Andy or Nile that they just want to get _out_ of the house, check if the horses are still there (and with their luck, they aren’t) and _leave_. 

“Boss! Kiddo! We are going to check the barn.” Joe calls out, keeping the two women informed about their whereabouts. A muffled ‘be careful’ is thrown out by Nile, the couple smile at her care for them. 

Joe reaches out for Nicky’s hand, gripping his beloved hand. Fingers grasping onto each as much as they can in this god-forsaken world. The couple walk out of the house and quickly head to the barn to the west, the late winter California sun shining down on their backs. Once they get to the fence preventing the horses from getting out, they efficiently get over the fence. 

Once they are both over the fence and move a few feet closer to the barn, they start to hear some type of noise coming out of the barn. They each slowly stalk towards the barn, assuming that the horses that previously resided in the barn have been overtaken and eaten by any infected around that heard them. They finally get within a few feet of the cracked open barn door when they hear the distinct sounds of stressed-out horses. 

Nicky is the first to run in to see what is causing the sounds of distress, he skids in while Joe opens the door even more to let some light in. Nicky stops and just gazes at the mares in front of him. From first glance, there are two mares in the barn, but looking further towards the back of the barn is another horse, darker in color than the other two. 

The Italian walks up to the white and brown speckled mare, the first one that the couple saw when they stormed into the barn. She was quiet and docile, and it seems that her intuition tells her to trust the strangers in front of her. He softly pets her muzzle, giving her care and attention that she has been missing out on for a week or so. 

Just before Nicky steps away from the mare, he feels his loves’ arms wrap around his middle. Drawing his hand away from the horse's snot, pulling back quick enough to evade the playful nip she gives him, wanting more attention. He leans back into Joe’s strong arms, Nicky lets out an exhausted sigh. The days of constant travel wearing him thin. 

Joe softly kisses up Nicky’s neck, putting his love into each small kiss trailing down his neck. The italian in question throws his head back in bliss, enjoying the minute alone the couple has. Well, somewhat alone, the mare that Nicky gave attention to earlier whines out a complaint, and when the blonde doesn’t listen. The mare starts nipping at Nicky’s clothes, his sweatshirt and bag. 

Joe lets out a loud, belly deep laugh. Spooking Nicky, the mare, and the other two horses that were more hesitant about coming towards the couple. “My heart, do I have competition to be jealous of?” 

“Of course not, you are the only one for me. She is but on the side” Nicky retorts with a smile on his lips. 

The couple's banter is stopped by the sound of Nile shouting for them. “Joe! Nicky! Are yall okay?” 

“We are good! Come into the barn, bring Andy.” Joe smiles and looks on at the three horses, knowing the amount of joy they will bring to the women. “You two will love this.”

Andy walks in ahead of Nile, her only being a few steps behind her. The women’s faces both morph into their own version of shock and surprise. Niles being written all over her face, and Andy’s being held in the gleam in her eye’s and the wrinkles forming beside them.

Niles takes a few long strides forwards until she is in front of the brown and white mare that Nicky has been doting on. She looks at the horse, then at the other two horses that are more hesitant and hidden in the shadows. Her smile and happiness can be seen even from behind her. Her entire body vibrating with joy. 

“Oh my god, I won’t have to walk!” 

\------------

  
  


Ellie looks ahead at Joel’s back, the man riding ahead of her as always. Leading the way even when he isn’t completely sure of where exactly they are going. He hasn’t said much during the past few hours of riding. Ellie thinks he may be ignoring her, but she doesn’t know how to bring _it_ up, especially with Dina. 

Just thinking about Dina made Ellie grip the darker girl's arm that was wrapped around her waist. The girl in question just holds her tighter and nuzzles deeper into Ellie’s neck, blowing soft warm air into her neck. Ellie thinks that she may be trying to take a nap, or the version of a nap where you are mostly unconscious, but conscious enough to stay sitting up on a horse. Ellie really isn’t sure how Dina is doing it, but she knows if anyone could get away with napping on a horse, it would be Dina. 

Shimmer and Callus II have been making steady progress in her own _professional_ opinion, quickly and steadily moving toward the end goal of Seattle. Joel seems to be focused solely on getting to Seattle, getting to Abby and avenging Tommy’s death that Ellie realizes that he hasn’t been keeping track of the time. They left early morning from Jackson, and from what Ellie can see, the sun is going down almost past the horizon. 

“Joel…” No response, she tries a bit louder, her voice getting louder each time. “Joel? Joel!” Finally on the third time he seems to shake out of the state he was in and looks back at Ellie, saying nothing other than raising his eyebrow in an obvious sign of ‘ _What the fuck do you want?’_

“We need to find somewhere to make camp, Dina is falling asleep behind me. I’m about to pass out, and the horses need a break.” 

The older man lets out a defeated sigh, not even trying to fight her on this. He knows he has been pushing the trio hard, the two horses even harder. “I think there is a cabin up ahead that’s been abandoned, we will have to clear it before we bring the horses in.” 

Ellie just nods her understanding, she knew they weren’t going to be able to just stop. Anybody smart enough knows better than to just… stop in the middle of the forest when infected could be walking around. 

The next thirty minutes pass quickly for the young woman. Focused purely on keeping her girlfriend who has actually completely fallen asleep, on Shimmers back. Like almost no time has passed, the trio ride up to an abandoned cabin. The night sky is already black, making the cabin look darker than it actually is. 

Ellie shakes Dina awake, who in turn lets out a groan followed immediately with “I'm awake!” 

Ellie can’t help but smile at how cute she is. “Hey D, we found a cabin that we are gonna camp at. Joel and I are gonna clear it real quick while you watch the horses okay?” 

Dina just nods her head and lightly pushes the red head off the horse. “Be Careful, freckles, I’ll watch the horse’s if you watch your old man's back.” 

Ellie can’t hide her grimace, extremely thankful for the darkness of night hiding it for her, knowing that he doesn’t need someone to watch his back anymore… probably. She quickly dismounts Shimmer, Joel already off of Callus II. Reigns in his hand ready to hand off to Dina. She quickly accepts and the father-daughter duo move on into clearing the cabin. 

  
  


\---------

Booker knows that he won’t be able to make it to Jackson by the time Joel leaves, he is still a two day walk out from Jackson and if Joel leaves on a horse, that would put even more time between them. He lets out a dejected sigh, knowing that trying to find this man will be the end of him. 

He also knows that even though he is immortal, he has to stop. It’s getting late and dark, and even though he won’t die- _die_ , being eaten by the infected is never a fun thing to try to get out of. Meaning Booker has to try to find somewhere safe enough for him to rest a few hours until dawn when he can get back up and start his trek again. 

Booker keeps walking forward for what feels like hours but may have been a single hour for all he knows, the time passed in a non-linear way for Booker. The only thing he heard for miles was his own feet walking and making light crunch noises on the forest floor, and the night life coming alive. 

Finally, a ray of hope for Booker shows itself in a cabin. It looks decently sized in his opinion, probably has been empty for a multitude of years. Or Booker thought, until suddenly a bright orange glow comes through the main room window, indicating a fire being started. He looks up at the roof and sure enough, smoke is billowing out of the chimney. 

_Well shit, that makes things more difficult._ Is Booker's only thought, he really does not want to kill whoever is inside the cabin so hopefully they won’t shoot him on site, but with his luck (which is shit) he’ll get a bullet in the forehead, wake-up, then have to kill whoever is inside. 

\---------------

Clearing the cabin consisted of two runners and a singular clicker, the clicker was locked in a back room and the runner milling about in the main rooms. Joel and Ellie were too tired to properly burn the infected bodies, so they collectively carried the three heavy-as-shit dead infected out of the cabin and just set them outside in a ‘neat’ pile of death and rotting fungus. 

Shimmer and Callus were hesitant to get into the cabin, especially with the scent of infected. Dina was able to convince the horses with some carrots she has been hiding in the small pocket in her bag. The horses really had nowhere proper to truly rest, so Ellie ends up taking them into a relatively good sized kitchen and fills a water tin for the two from a reservoir she found in the basement while clearing the cabin. 

Once the horses were settled, Joel finally was convinced (i.e. Dina annoyed him into starting a fire) to light a fire in the fireplace, which truthfully lit the room up in a somber, orangish glow. The fire making the cold cabin significantly warmer, Ellie breathing a sigh of relief. The red head quickly starts taking off her layers. Her coat off first, the jacket underneath that revealing a sweatshirt, which she leaves on. 

Sadly, Joel claims the couch, blaming his ‘bad back’ and having to ‘deal with them two’ warrants enough of a reason to make the girls sleep on the floor. Ellie gave up on fighting him about the fact before he even started the fire. She quickly lays out her sleeping bag near the fire and with her bow lying adjacent. She drags her pack over to use as a pillow. Once satisfied with her makeshift bed, she looks up to see that Ellie has practically copied her. Her sleeping bag forming a straight line with Ellie's, their heads in the same area. Dina has also stripped of her few layers. 

Ellie finally looks at Dina, for the first time since they left Jackson. She is entranced by this woman’s beauty, and so unbelievably thankful for her presence. Yes, Ellie realizes that she fought Dina about her traveling with them, but she can’t help being selfish and happy that Dina is with her and _wants_ to be with her. She can’t help but think that Dina looks absolutely breathtaking in the warm light of a fire. Her dark face shining bright with the light of the fire bouncing off, her eyes becoming a honey-like gold. 

“Yall betta’ stop makin’ them lovey eyes every time you look at one another or I’m gonna leave y'all's asses behind.” Joel grunts out, glaring at the young couple. Dina and Ellie’s faces go bright red, blush creeping down Ellie's neck and up to Dina’s ears. They both look down at their laps, embarrassment taking over their whole being. 

Joel could feel a smile trying to fight it’s way onto his face, the troubles and embarrassments of young love that he just wants to laugh. Instead, he pulls out jerky that he nabbed from Jackson’s stores and aggressively bites into it, tearing the piece off. He silently hands the bag over so the two girls can grab something to eat. 

Ellie just shakes her head and holds up a can of soup, indicating that is what the two are going to eat. “Y'all found soup and weren’t goin’ to share?” 

“Shut up old man, you know you wouldn’t eat it anyways.” Ellie bites back with as much of a bark as she can tiredly muster. Joel just shrugs as an answer and eats a bit more of the jerky. 

Ellie heats the can of soup by the fire, excited to find out what type of soup is in it (the label has long since rusted off). Once sufficient time has passed, Ellie nudges the can towards her with her knife. Trying to avoid touching the hot metal. Once the can is out of the fire, she grabs her jacket and uses that as a hot-pad of sorts. Ellie stabs her knife into the top of the can and tries to _carefully_ pry open the can. 

A minute or so of struggling finds Ellie finally with the soup can open, steaming flying out. The smell that immediately hits her nose is tomatoes, followed by something else that she can’t identify. Her lips quirk up in a smirk, she brings the can up to her lips and takes a gulp of it. 

The taste that hits her tongue is a weird combination of tomato and something very acidic. Ellie just shrugs and takes another glup. Pulling the can down and licking her lips to rid of any residue, she hands it over to Dina. Who gladly takes the offered can and takes her own gulp. 

Unlike Ellie, who has a refined iron stomach, Dina swallows the soup and gags. Her face scrunched up in disgust. “How the hell can you stand that?” 

Ellie just smiles and takes the soup back, “If you don’t like it, try to get some of that jerky from Joel.” 

Dina glares at Ellie, but looks back up at Joel. Before she can even voice her question Joel reaches over and hands her a strip of jerky. She smiles up at him, “At least someone here is decent.” 

“Oh har har D, you two are both wusses that can’t handle _fine dining._ ”

Joel’s gruff voice comes from behind the two girls, “Fine dining my ass, you would eat something out of a garbage pile and see it as a five-star meal.” 

At Joel’s comeback, Dina burst into a fit of laughter. Ellie just glares at Joel, her intentions of violence clear in her eyes. 

  
  
  


Once everyone settles from their makeshift dinner, they decide on who will take the first watch. Ellie practically fought tooth and nail for the first watch. Leaving her sitting up against the couch, lightly sketching in her sketchbook, the soft light from the fire just enough to make out Dina’s face and her paper so she can attempt to sketch out her face. 

Dina let’s out soft little snores, while Joel behind her breathes steadily. His chest rising and falling in a slow enough rhythm that Ellie concludes that he is actually asleep. Before Ellie can truthfully start to zone-out into her sketchbook, she hears a creak from the porch. 

Freezing, she puts her sketchbook down and picks up her bow, standing up quickly. She strains her ears to hear if whatever out there makes another sound. Once she hears another creak, she nudges Joel awake. Keeping her eyes trained on the front door. 

Joel’s eyes almost imminently snap open, his hand reaching for the revolver he kept under his pack. Ellie holds her index finger up to him, telling him to stay quiet, she then points at the door indicating that someone or some _thing_ is out there. Joel just nods and silently gets off of the couch. Ellie then lightly kicks at Dina, attempting to wake her up. The girl groans and opens her eyes. Dina sees the serious look on both Ellie and Joel’s face that she knows something is _wrong_. 

Ellie indicates again that there is something outside, right after her indication another creak on the porch is heard. Joel quickly and silently gets in front of the two girls, he slowly walks towards the door. Not wanting the intruder to know that they know that they are there. 

Joel throws open the door, banking on surprising the intruder. When the door opens, they don’t see whoever was there. Until Ellie’s head whips to the left of the door, seeing a man that practically looks like a cornered animal. 

A blond haired man standing there with an automatic rifle, his hand on the trigger. Ellie sees the possible danger, her first response is to bring her already loaded bow up, and shoot the man square in the face. In such close proximity, the arrow lands dead on. Sinking into the attackers eye, going through halfway just by the momentum. Before he falls dead, the blond looks surprised, but annoyed at the outcome he has been handed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone caught that dw reference you amazing!
> 
> if anyone has any name ideas for the horses! id love suggestions! 
> 
> the three horses are a black mare, and light colored and speckled mare, and then nickys white and brown patched horses.
> 
> i also know nothing about horses so hehe


	4. and my mind and my gun they comfort me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from through the valley shawn james

“You guys have been through some shit… any idea of what they will call this time?” Nile tries to break the silence that they have been riding through for the past hour or so of the morning. They thankfully decided to stop last night at the farmhouse that they found the horses in for the night, recuperating and getting to know the three horses in the barn. 

Andy gives a long sigh and says the first answer that comes to her mind. “The dark ages?” 

“No no, that has already been done…” Nile racks her brain, trying to think of  _ something _ , something that will get her family to laugh. “Black Plague:Fungus Edition?” 

Joe lets out a snort from behind Nile, the reins that he is holding jump a bit from his laughter. Nicky just rolls his eyes at both Nile and Joe’s antics. The two having bonded over the past twenty-five years with shitty humor. Nicky whispers a soft “Don't” into Joe’s ear, the light rebuttal not stopping Joe from having a little fun during the long and agonizing trip. 

“That’s too lengthy, it’s got to be catchy kiddo… something with the word ages or period in it. Because man-kind is very predictable.” Joe reaches up to scratch his beard, a contemplative look on his face. “Cordyceps Period?”

Niles' face is bright and wide, glad Joe is joining her in her ‘mini-debate’. She twists her upper body back to look at him and clicks her tongue. “That’s catchy, but boring!” She drags the ‘or’ in boring just a bit too long to be considered proper. 

“Do you have anything else?” Joe questions her, her face falls. She knows she doesn’t have anything better so she just turns back around and faces forwards. A few more peacefully silent minutes pass with no interruptions from Nile. The woman has a big grin back on her face before she blurts out the next ‘mini-debate’ topic. 

“How about this, do you think communism or capitalism will work better post whatever period this is?” Andy groans, not wanting to talk politics with the kid. Even though they technically can’t even talk politics since there are no  _ politicians _ . Nile turns back to look at Andy, who is always in front, her shoulders bunched up in agitation. “Well, Andy. If you don’t want to talk about this, give me something  _ else  _ to talk about.” 

“Do we even have to talk? Why can’t we just ride in silence?” 

Nile scoffs, feigning insult. “I can’t believe… Andy, that’s boring and I do not deal well with boredom.” 

“Well Boss, could we tell her the accident of Prussia ‘78?” Joe suggests. Nicky smiles, the memory of back then coming back. The hilarity of the situation back then. 

“We are  _ not  _ going to talk about Prussia ‘78” 

Nile perks up at the idea of a story of some time in the past, the chances of the accident of Prussia ‘78 being before the 1700's extremely high, which means a  _ very  _ interesting story for the internal historian in Nile. “Why not the story of the accident of Prussia ‘78?” 

Andy just urges her black mare to walk at an even faster pace, putting distance between the other three immortals. Nile just sighs, her imagination running wild with what Andy could possibly be so hesitant to share that memory.  _ Well, Joe did say accident… so maybe Andy fucked up in some way that she is somehow still embarrassed about hundreds of years later.  _ Right after Nile has that thought, she disregards it. Andy, their stoic and strong leader, couldn’t possibly be still embarrassed about something so long ago, right?

However, Nile knows when to keep fighting, and when to give up. This situation unfortunately being one that she must give up. No matter how stubborn she is, Andy is doubly so. Nile grumbles out a frustrated response and falls back onto her horse with a grunt. Lying back, her head resting on the rear of the horse. Luckily her mare doesn’t react to the sudden change of her weight on her. The speckled horse just keeps following the darker horse up front. She pulls her leather jacket further around her, a cold wind making her shiver a bit. She snuggles into the old worn leather, the comfort of an old friend settling low in her bones. She breathes in the imagined scent of the owner, the actual scent long since disappeared. 

Nile looks back at Joe and Nicky, the couple having to be ‘forced’ to share the third horse. Nile snorts at the thought of ‘forcing’ them to be cuddled together for hours on end. As if they wouldn’t volunteer for that. The figure of Joe, Nicky and their horse looking very odd upside down to the Nile. Joe just gives her a small sympathetic smile, shrugging his shoulders saying something along the lines of ‘ _ well, what can you do. Boss said no’.  _

“You know, we should really name these guys…” Nile drawls out, trying to start another conversation in a different direction. “I mean, it only seems right to give them all names. It’s weird calling them in my head ‘the black one’ or ‘the speckled one’.” 

Andy lets out a sigh, but gives in. “Why the hell not, what are your suggestions Nile?”

“Oh shit I didn’t think that far.” Nile stumbles a bit with her words. “Why not name our own, you’ve got your black mare up there, I know you’ve some good name in that head of yours. And Nicky and Joe probably already have a name for theirs.” 

“We do not, actually have a name for ours.” Nicky responds quickly to Nile’s unspoken question. “But we could come up with one?” 

“Yes!” She sits back up on her horse and pumps a fist in the air out of victory. “I already have mine, her name is Splatter because of her coat.” She says with a giant bright smile, making the three older immortals smile in turn.

Andy hums at the silly name that Nile gave to her horse, knowing that whatever name the couple gives their horse will be something cutesy and romantic. “I honestly don’t care, and it seems you do. Just name my horse, why don’t you?” 

Nile lets out a hum of consideration, thinking what kind of name would fit such a regal like horse for the boss. While Nile thinks on the possibilities of what name for Andy’s mare, Joe pipes up with the name for his and Nicky’s horse. “Nicky and I were thinking of naming her Melita for ours.” 

Right when Andy heard the name Joe said she let out a loud groan. Nile turns back and forth, from the front where Andy was riding and back to the couple. Questioning why Andy would groan at a name that sounds very elegant. “Wh-” 

“It’s where they said ‘I love you’ for the first time.” Andy calls back to Nile, answering the question that was halfway out of her mouth. How Andy is so intuitive with Nile already, with only twenty-five years instead of the hundreds with the others. Nile doesn’t know, but it’s not in her place to know, so she just pushes that thought back into the place where she just keeps everything she doesn’t want to think of.

_ Like Booker, or Quynh. Where are they? Are they Okay?  _

Nile digs her fingernails into her hand, drawing herself out of the thought spiral she was going down with no escape. The indents where her fingernails were already healed back over. Nothing to show the inner turmoil she somewhat avoided. 

“But wasn’t that in Malta?” 

“Si! Si!” Nicky proudly shouts from behind Joe. Proud that Nile remembered that small detail from years back. Nicky reaches back and gently pets the brown-speckled horses rear. “Malta used to be called Melita many, many years back. Melita suits this girl much better than Malta would.” 

Nile hums again, thinking the name is quite cute and endearing. “Hey Andy? I’ll come up with a name for yours soon… just,” Nile suddenly lets out a yawn, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Just, give me a minute.” 

The woman leans back onto her horse's back, practically lying back looking like an upside down ‘L’. Her legs still in the stirrups and wrapped around the torso of the horse. She brings her arms back to support her head to try to make the rear of Splatter a bit more comfortable. She tries to position her head so that her hair that has been somewhat expertly done into cornrows won’t get super messed up by her odd sleeping situation, not wanting to ask Nicky to redo her hair so soon. “I'm taking a nap, someone make sure Splatter doesn’t run me into a ditch, please and thank you.” 

Nicky and Joe both simultaneously call out an affirmation to Nile's' question, she just throws up her hand in a thumbs up to show that she has heard them. She wraps the over-sized jacket around her and starts to doze off. A few minutes go by with silence from Nile, Andy brings her horse to a slower trot. Once the dark horse gets closer to Nile’s affectionately named horse ‘Splatter’, Andy reaches over and lightly grabs the reins from Nile's lap, careful to not wake her up. Andy quickly and efficiently, with hands that have done the movements so many times she could do it in her sleep, tie the reigns together. Preventing Nile’s horse from veering off the road.

The three know that she has been having nightmares, the girl reluctant to explain any details other than about the new guy. Her sleep pattern has become so messed up, that they know any sleep is a blessing for the girl. The group rides on in silence, keeping eyes and ears out for any infected or hunters in the area. 

  
  
  


\-----------

  
  


Booker didn’t think his day was going to end like this, he expected to maybe have to talk to a small group to convince them to let him stay with them for a night to rest, or even to fight a small group. He definitely did not expect that Joel would be in the cabin. Nor did he expect them to hear him softly walking onto the porch to think out the best way to enter. 

He definitely did not expect for young Ellie, who last time he saw was unconscious on an operating table about to be sacrificed for a vaccine, to shoot him in the eye with an arrow. He gets a better look at her than in the original dream of her screaming for Joel, she looks almost identical to how she did five years prior. However, her face has grown more mature and with violence hidden behind her eyes. 

Which he understands as soon as she sees him with his rifle and her immediate reaction is to draw her bow and kill the threat. Which she technically does. 

  
  


\---------

Dina lets out a small scream in response to her girlfriend's immediate response of killing the possible threat. The light of the moon and the fore from inside the cabin illuminating the blood softly trickling out of the man. 

“Shoulda shoot him in the leg El, he coulda been with the WLF’s and of known somethin’.” Ellie just shrugs and rolls her eyes at Joel. She walks up to the man and kicks him over onto his back and pulls the arrow out of his eye, wiping the blood off onto the dirty jacket of the dead man. 

She leans closer to the man, trying to see if he has the WLF patch or anything else to identify him with the WLF. Once she can’t see anything obvious, she stands back up and looks at Joel. “Nothing on him, probably someone trying to loot us.” She smirks a bit (which definitely does NOT turn Dina on, that confident look on her face-) and juts out her hip, hand with the arrow that was previously in the man's eye on her hip. “See, nothing on em, you are so very welcome.” 

Before Joel can fully retort to Ellie’s comment, he freezes. His eyes zero in on the body, hoping to god that it was a trick of the flickering light coming from the open door and window, and that this dead man’s hand did  _ not  _ just twitch. His back straightens back up, his hand tightening back onto the revolver, finger hovering over the trigger. 

“Ellie,” He starts slowly, similar to someone talking to a wounded animal. “Get away from the body.” 

“What, why?” Ellie says defensively. 

“Remember Boston? It’s like that.” He quickly bites back, pulling the Boston card to get her to listen and away from any potential danger. Ellie hears the finality and seriousness in his tone of voice. The fact that he brought up Boston solidifies that whatever is going on, Joel perceives as serious. She quickly in a few short steps gets to his side, a questioning look on her face but not voicing it. 

He just nods in approval, lightly nudging Dina to get behind Ellie and Ellie behind him. Creating a barrier between the threat and the two young girls. He takes a few steps forward and kneels down to look at the man, his revolver held steady in his right hand. Joel looks closely at the man, trying to make out from where he recognizes him from. Because he does, oh does he recognize him. Dina grabs Ellie’s arm, whispering into her ear. “What the fuck is going on?” 

Ellie leans over and says at the same decibel as Dina. “No clue, but it’s something serious enough to bring up Boston.” 

Before Dina can ask about what exactly  _ that  _ meant, Joel says under his breath “No shit.” 

Dina and Ellie lean forward, hoping for some type of explanation from the older man. Joel looks up at Ellie, concern and complete confusion written all over his face. “Ya remember them dreams I told you about?” Ellie just nodes, not understanding how the group of four has anything to do with this single man. “This is the man, the one on his own. Not the group of four or the woman.” 

Ellie just opens her mouth, a soft gasp falling out of her lips. The brief memory of Joel mentioning a singular man on his own, contrasting the group of four or the woman.”

Dina’s confusion is quicker to react than Ellie’s own understanding. “I'm sorry, but what in the FUCK is going on?” 

Before Ellie or Joel could even attempt to properly answer her question (because quite honestly, they know very little on what is going on) the man that Joel inspected bolts upright. Sucking in air as if drawing his first breath after being underwater for too long, his eyes blew wide darting between Joel, Ellie and Dina. 

Simultaneously Dina lets out a shrill high pitches shriek, and Ellie a similarly loud “WHAT IN THE FUCK!” 

Joel’s immediate response to having this previously dead man, sit up and look very much so  _ alive _ , is to uppercut him without hesitation. The blond man falls with a loud grunt. Joel pulls out his revolver and steadies his aim to blow this man's brains out.

“Wait! Wait! Sto-” The blond doesn’t have time to fully ask Joel to hesitate, trying to explain what is going on. Joel pulls the trigger, a loud boom sounds out, knocking the man down. Blood quickly flows out of the large hole in the man’s head, him lying dead. 

_ For now at least _ . Thinks Joel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! Thank you so much for the support I've been getting on this fic, it makes me so happy that there are people reading this and enjoying it as well, i guess it's becoming normal for me to update on mondays and fridays... i can promise that there will always be a new chapter on mondays unless i say otherwise, but no promises about friday  
> I will say that I have just started writing chapter 10 and we haven’t even gotten to Seattle yet, so there is a lot more to come.  
> I'm hoping that anybody that has ill feelings towards Booker is satisfied with the amount of times I have already killed him in this fic, I really like Booker so I hate doing this to him. But like… it has to happen!  
> Any guesses on whats up with Nile's jacket?
> 
> I wrote a companion piece to this, it’s about the year before the outbreak and expands on the immortal crews life before then.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26302228#main


	5. i'll get up and lay back down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from i know the end phoebe bridgers

_ What the fuck _

_ What the fuck _

Dina only has one thought going through her mind during the thirty seconds that it took for the man to  _ come back to life  _ and for him to subsequently be shot point blank by Joel. The confusion that has made Dina feel like everything that has happened had to be a dream, a crazy messed up dream that she will wake up from in any minute.

“I guess you were right.” Is the first thing that is said after the man. Came. Back. To. Life. 

Before Dina can question what is going on, and before Ellie can confuse her even more. Joel picks the man up and tosses him onto his shoulder with a grunt. The blonds head drips blood… but at a slower rate then it should be. 

Joel glances at the girls, Ellie glaring at him and Dina is still so very confused that she doesn’t even register that she is being dragged back into the cabin, doesn't realize that Joel roughly tosses the man down on the ground. Dina definitely doesn’t notice that the man’s bullet wound is almost completely healed up. 

Ellie and Joel work quickly and efficiently as a team, shoving the man against a beam in the cabin and tying him up with some rope in Joel’s bag and that they found in the cabin. Dina just plops down on a chair that Ellie has so kindly gotten for her, trying to process what the hell is happening. She holds her head in her hands, massaging her temples trying to rid of the headache that is coming on. 

“So…” Dina finally campuses herself enough to say something. “Anybody want to fill me in on what all of  _ that _ was? Or are you going to keep me in the dark?”

“We honestly have no clue…” Joel starts, looking over at Ellie trying to get her to help him explain the small bit that they somewhat understand. The shake of her head and the look in her eyes just scream that Joel is on his own for this part. “Well… it’s kinda a long story that starts back in the mansion a few weeks back… with Tommy.” 

“Oh no, I don’t want the long version right now. I'm too goddamned exhausted for that. What I need you to explain to me is how that man came back from the arrow to the eye, and how his wound from your bullet is already healed up.” At the mention of his wound already being healed up and Dina throwing her hand out, gesturing at the man. 

Dina acknowledging seemed to have ‘resurrected’ him. The trio looks at the man who is quickly blinking his eyes, trying to re-acclimate with the light in the cabin. He looks up at them and squints, “Ya know, I haven’t had two deaths back-to-back in a while. Took me a bit longer to bounce back.” 

The man speaks perfect English, almost with no accent, but Dina hears something else under his voice. Nothing malicious, just different and abnormal. No matter what his voice sounds like, him speaking up makes Joel jump into action, he whips out a shiv and gets up close. Obviously planning on intimidating the man into giving them answers. 

“Hey, hey, hey… none of that please. I will tell you everything, any questions you have I will answer.” The blond rushes out, if he accesses his hands he would be frantically waving them in front of him. Joel backs up a bit, relieved that he doesn’t have to do anything to this man, and nods. Encouraging the man to start to explain something without prompting. 

“First thing, name’s Booker.” He introduces himself. Dina thinks the name  _ Booker _ is somewhat odd, but who is she to judge? What she is much more interested in is what he said about back-to-back  _ deaths _ . As if he has had this happen to him before. “Secondly I would really like to have this conversation not tied up to a pole and covered in my own blood.”

He leaves a pregnant pause, hoping one of others will untie him or wipe off some of the blood, or even ask a question. Apparently, he waited long enough for Joel to sigh and finally ask the question that has been plaguing his own mind. “Are you like me?” 

Dina’s mind freezes, ‘like me’? What in the world does Joel mean by like him. Joel can’t possibly be like this Booker. Does he mean he comes back to life? But that doesn’t even make sense. When would Joel have even died? 

Booker answers with a simple, “Yes.” Joel deflates. “However, it’s more of a ‘you are like me’ kinda thing… I am over 200 years older than you.” 

Dina, along with Ellie and Joel, mouth practically drops a mixture of disbelief and shock. Ellie and Dina look at each other with so many questions bouncing around in their mind that they are practically thinking the same thing.  _ Immortality? 200 years older?  _

Dina steels herself and sits up straight, sucking in a gulp of air. “Okay… I need the full story, from Joel. Not Ellie, not  _ you-”  _ She pauses to glare at Booker. “But Joel. Give me all the details from the start, and how the FUCK you are involved in all of this.” 

“That’s… reasonable.” Joel concludes, dreading the amount of questions she will have. “But promise ya won’t interrupt. At All. No questions until I’m done telling my part and we can ask Booker any additional questions.” Dina just nods and gestures her hand out, indicating Joel to go on. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Joel takes a while to get to the actual immortal part of his story, in Bookers opinion. He talks a lot about what him and his brother were doing before he even got to the exciting part. Then again, Booker has been tied up and sitting on the hard wooden ground for probably just over an hour. His butt hurts and he is bored, he thought he would just answer a bunch of questions, shoot Joel in the head to prove his point and they would move on. Probably continue heading to Seattle, which means he might find out what is going on with Quyhn, maybe see Nicky, Joe, and Nile again, find out if Andy...

_ Nope, just keep observing this weird trio. That’s all you gotta do right now Sebastian _ . He tries to cut off the intrusive thought crawling into his mind. Knowing that if he thinks about all of  _ that  _ right now that he will definitely get more pissed off and aggressive than he currently is. Which is not a good mood to be in his predicament at the current moment. 

The dark haired girl, who Booker still hasn’t learned the name of, addresses him. Bringing him back into the discussion. “And how exactly does  _ he  _ fit into all of this?” She puts a large emphasis on addressing Booker. 

Joel pauses before he gives the reluctant answer of “I don’t actually know… but I’m pretty sure we are meant to meet.” Booker has a look of relief on his face, glad he is being addressed and that Joel has some minuscule idea of what is going on and what the connection between  _ all _ of them means. 

“He is right about that.” Booker agrees with a light nod of his head. “About us being meant to meet. For whatever reason we were chosen to have this ‘blessing’ of immortality thrusted upon us, but luckily as soon as that happens we are alerted about who the others are. And vice-versa. You know, ‘misery loves company’” 

Joel has a look of recognition of his face, most likely remembering the other five that he has been dreaming of. The recognition is replaced by further confusion however. “So, they are dreaming of… me?” 

Booker nods to confirm his thoughts, frustrated with the circles he knows Joel is going to go about with the whole immortality thing. Booker understands this man’s hesitance to believe in everything that he says but still endlessly frustrated with having to explain everything. There was a reason why when Nile showed up that Andy was the one that went to explain, beside the fact that Andy is… or was the oldest. Booker still doesn’t know if Andy has made it through these past 25 years, the last thing he remembers of her is Booker almost being the cause of her death when she suddenly lost her immortality. 

“So, if I die… I will just come back?” He scratches at his beard, the thought on his face very obviously pondering what this would mean for him. “What about the infected?” 

_ Ah, the question of the century… truly _ , Booker thinks to himself. “You’ll come back, even if you get bit. The bite mark takes a bit longer than normal wounds like that would heal, but you don’t turn. Spores fucking suck though, they won’t make you infected but they hurt like a bitch, so I recommend still wearing a mask.” 

The man in question just raises his eyebrows in disbelief, not completely believing that this thing that he has been out running for twenty-five years… basically doesn’t really affect him anymore. If he got bit on a patrol, or had a chunk of his arm bitten off by a clicker, it wouldn’t mean anything. Sure, it would hurt like a bitch, but he wouldn’t die from it. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Joel really doesn’t know how to process the fact that he is basically immune, even more precise is that he is  _ immortal _ . The only reason why he even is thinking about the possibility that this man is telling him the truth is the fact that he has seen him come back from two different fatal injuries. Not only come back from them, but to bounce back like it was just a bad cut or punch in the face. Furthermore, Joel thinks about his own weird experience of… dying. Of actually dying. 

He realizes that he actually died that night, that Ellie actually saw his head getting smashed. He stopped breathing, his heart stopped beating, his blood ran dry. But then he came back, he came back to life, and to do what? Get revenge for Tommy? Eventually live long enough for Ellie to die on him, just like Sar- 

Joel snaps himself out of his spiral of life and death. He shoves the thoughts back of Ellie dying and of repeats of Sarah happening over and over again. He shoves those thoughts so far into his mind they would drown in the darkness they are getting pushed into. Joel tightens his fist, feeling his short nails cut into his palm, drawing blood and causing him to return back into the moment. He opens his hand and turns it over to glance down at his palm, he sees the dried blood, but no marks.

He looks over at Ellie, who has been trying to comfort Dina. Poor Dina who has had this whole thing sprung on her with no warning. At least Joel and Ellie had some type of theory or idea of what happened to him in the Mansion, Dina on the other hand has been in the dark about everything. Joel can see that even though Ellie is providing Dina with support and comfort, that her thoughts on this are boiling over as well, unable to fully process what the man is saying. So many questions that she wants to ask but doesn’t have the courage to do so. Her innate curiosity of if that man is even telling the truth about the infected and about Joel’s immortality. 

Ellie looks up from trying to massage some of the tension out of Dina’s shoulder, not making a whole lot of progress in that attempt. “So… how do we know for sure if you are telling the truth. Obviously you are about yourself, but why Joel? How are we even sure that wasn’t a one and done thing?” 

The blonde man chuckles, as if expecting this question. “I could prove it to you. If you untie me.” Joel sees Ellie physically recoil, understanding what Booker means when he says he will prove his point. If Joel were to be honest with himself, he believes Booker. Only because of what happened, how he healed and came back with no scars, no left over aches, how his injuries from befor have started to heal and feel better. His body has been feeling younger than it has in the past twenty or so years. He truly doesn’t feel as if he has a choice of than believing what he is saying. 

Joel sighs, knowing Ellie is going to fight him tooth and nail about this. Just like she does with everything else they butt heads over. He walks forward a few feet towards the man, planning on tying him to see what exactly he is planning to prove his words to Ellie and Dina. Before he reaches the blond, Ellie huffs in frustration and yanks him back. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ellie sneers out from between her gritted teeth. Even though Ellie has grown in the past years, he still hears her young voice that shocked him with how vulgar of a mouth she's got on her. The grip on his arm is tight, even though Ellie may be seen as small and lanky. Joel knows she has a strength on her, he’s feeling it right then. Ellie looks up at him with a glare that would send a weaker man to his knees. 

Joel is not a weak man, and he has seen the evolution of her death glare. He’s been on the receiving end of it so many times that it changes nothing in his resolve.

“Ellie…” he grunts out, voice low in a warning. “This is my choice and I believe him.” 

Her grip on his bicep tights even more, the fire in her eyes becoming even angrier. “Oh, so you want to talk about choices now? Like how you didn’t let me choose to die? Like I fucking planned?” 

_ Oh fuck _ , is all Joel can think of. The two haven’t had the conversation about this since she ran to Salt Lake City two years ago. The two past years spent with Ellie ignoring his entire existence, or never addressing the elephant in the room. Somehow, the one thing she learned from him and it had to be the emotional constipation. 

Joel growls out the answer, his voice having the same amount of bite that Ellie is sending his way. “Ellie, we can talk abou’ that later. Right now is this shit.” 

“No, fuck it, lets talk about it now!” Ellie lets go of his bicep, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. “What’s the worse that’ll happen with talking about your bullshit right now!” 

A repeat of the earlier conversation in which Dina interrupts Joel before he can get a retort out of his mouth in response to Ellie. “Seriously, what the fuck is with me having to ask you assholes to explain to me on WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” Dina shouts the few words, her anger and confusion coming out in her shout. 

Dina's words are what makes Ellie back down from the confrontation she was trying to incite between her and Joel. Her rational brain makes her realize that she  _ really _ should not have that type of conversation with her girlfriend and a total stranger in the room. Especially a conversation about her immunity when Dina doesn’t even know about that. Softly, an odd description to put on Ellie when she has been giving such a hard and volatile look Joel’s way, Ellie looks over at Dina and shakes her head. 

“Dee… not today. I-” Ellie pauses not knowing how to word her conundrum currently. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. Please just ignore all of that bit? Yeah?” Dina, too tired to argue with Ellie just nods her head. If Joel knows Ellie, he knows that she will not willingly bring that topic back up with her girlfriend. No matter how ready his girl is for a fight, she despises any type of emotional vulnerability. 

The red-head turns back to Joel, the glare coming quickly back into her eyes. “Now you, I’m not done with you.” 

Joel holds his hands up in surrender, “Ellie, if you really don’t want a confirmation for what we are thinking I won’t untie him.” He lowers his hands back down and looks over at Booker. The man is leaning back against the pole, his eyes closed and seemingly trying to sleep. “How about, we all step back and get some sleep. We’ll be more right in the head in the mornin’.” 

Ellie seems to think that is a reasonable idea and steps back from Joel, her exhaustion making itself clear now that she has the thought of finally getting some rest. Her whole body seems to deflate, her shoulders fall and her eyes start to droop. The adrenaline from the night dying out.

She heads over to where Dina has already started to get back into her sleeping bag. She toes off her shoes and Dina turns around to her. She opens the side of the sleeping bag, indicating that she wants her in with her. No matter how mad she is about everything that has happened over the night, how much has been kept from her, she wants her girlfriend to hold her. Ellie does just that, she quickly slides into the sleeping bag. Her arms wrap around Dina’s back and she leaves a kiss on the back of her neck. 

Before Ellie fully nods off and falls asleep, she turns her head and stares Joel down. Joel who has resituated on the couch to sleep somewhat comfortably while still being alert. She opens her mouth to say something, but she closes it again. Thinking over her words. Finally she seems to find some semblance of the right thing to say.

“And you promise ya won’t untie ‘em while I'm asleep?” Her words slur, further evidence to her exhaustion.

“Promise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter doesn’t have any of the immortal gang in it. There was no way for me to actually properly fit them into this chapter without it being unbearably long. I hope y'all find Dina’s confusion as funny as I did when I was writing it!  
> Catch Booker subtly telling everyone to wear a mask rn, listen to the man!  
> Hehe I wonder what Joel is going to do??  
> Also! If anyone wants to read the fic I wrote about the time between the end of the tog movie and the start of the outbreak, it is in the same series on my profile.  
> like usual, if ya wanna contact me my tumblr is r-lillies and if anyone has some type of scene they would like to see, either in this fic or in a collection piece in the same series. just like... lemme know!


	6. our future days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from future days pearl jam

Nicky is the first to wake, the others quickly following after. All sharing the same dream, the dream with the man and  _ Booker _ . Of course Booker was the first to find him, of course he got himself caught and practically hogtied to a pole. Of course he made things difficult on the new guy. 

“Well, at least he has an idea of what is going on?” Nile is the first one to break the silence, Nile being the one with the smallest grudge with Booker. Nicky on the other hand is  _ fuming, _ the betrayal of Booker still raw for him. Twenty-five years meaning nothing for someone that has lived for hundreds of years. Definitely not enough time for him to ‘forgive and forget’ what he has done. 

Joe lays a calming hand on the small of Nicky’s back, whispers a soft “ _ Nicolo, calmati.”  _ The voice of his heart telling him to calm down. The warm feeling seeping through Joe’s hand and into his back, spreading like wildfire. Nicky takes a deep breath and gives a small smile back and looks over at Andy. 

Andy who was the one that was truly betrayed by Booker. The one who’s life was on the line. Joe, knowing exactly what he was thinking, voices the concern. “Boss? Thoughts?” 

She lets out a long sigh, the constant worry she has held for the man she views as a younger brother during the past twenty-years finally falling off of her shoulders. Knowing that not only is Booker in America with them, but he is safe (relatively so). 

“I think he has had enough of a punishment being on his own for the entirety of the outbreak.” Joe opens his mouth, planning on retaliating. However Andy has other plans and shoots a glare at the dark haired man, essentially telling him to let her finish speaking. “We’ve had each other for everything and even that was difficult. You can not convince me that Booker was any better off than us. He needs his  _ family  _ again.” 

Nicky knows that what Andy is saying is true. He truly feels in his deepest parts of his soul bad for his brother, not even wanting to comprehend what he has gone through. But Nicky can’t muster it in himself to forgive him, what he risked with Andy and what happened to his beloved Yusuf because of his actions doesn’t help Booker's situation in his eyes.

Joe on the other hand, his eyes soften, knowing as well that Andy is correct. As always she would correct him. Their poor brother has undoubtedly gone through massive amounts of shit all on his own as well. Joe see’s Booker’s punishment as being met seventy five years early. Nile is the only one in the group who doesn’t have to be convinced on how it's time to forgive him. She has forgiven him many years prior, the betrayal not being as deeply felt compared to the other three. 

“Do you think Booker will explain it all with the man’s daughter there?” Nile questions. 

“He has to, it doesn’t look like he had a choice on not telling them all.” Answers Andy. The short haired woman looks out of the broken window. Seeing that the sun hasn’t even risen yet. “We should get a few more hours of sleep so we don’t fall behind.” 

Nile just shrugs, having learnt the lesson to get as much sleep as possible when she can very early on in her journey of immortality. Learned even before the outbreak happened. She lays back down on her backpack-turned pillow and pulls her flannel over her body in the act of a blanket. 

Nicky looks back at Andy, raising his eyebrow questioning if she really is planning on going back to bed for a few more hours. Or if she is in need to talk to someone. Andy gives the Italian a small smile and shakes her head, telling him that she is okay. Before Nicky can protest anymore, or question if Andy is telling him the truth, Joe wraps his arms around his chest and pulls him down with his strong arms. Nicky lets out a small ‘oof’ when he collides with Joe’s chest, his love letting out a light laugh. 

“ _ Yanam habibi.”  _ Nicky closes his eyes with a warm smile on his lips. 

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Ellie startles awake to a hand touching her shoulder. She reaches for her switchblade, the memories of the night from before coming back. No matter if this ‘Booker’ guy won’t die by her hand, if he does anything to Dina or Joel he will  _ wish _ he could die. Before she attempts to get a slice in, she feels the light touch of Dina. 

Instantly Ellie’s entire body relaxes, the tension of her first thought of having to fight an  _ immortal _ completely leaving her body and mind. Dina smiles down at her, her smile Ellie’s favorite thing to wake up to. The early morning sun shining behind her, making her girlfriend's small frame look completely ethereal. 

Ellie suddenly realizes that it's the morning sun, the  _ sun _ is _ up  _ and she didn’t wake up, nor did anyone wake her any earlier. She sits upright, her back ramrod straight. Ellie frantically looks around, trying to find both Joel and Booker. When she doesn’t see either men she sucks in a gulp of air and jumps up from the place in front of the fireplace where she slept. 

She quickly laces up her canvas shoes and shrugs on her sweatshirt. She grabs her backpack and swings it onto her shoulders, the comfortable and familiar weight calming her nerves just by a fraction. Ellie looks over at Dina, who is leaning against the door frame with a smile on her lips. The red-head in turn raises a quizzical eyebrow at her girlfriend, wondering how she is so  _ calm. _

Dina just nods her head back, indicating that whatever type of answer Ellie was looking for is past the door. Ellie glares at Dina, without any true malice behind her eyes. She trudges forward and shoulders open the door. As soon as she steps out into the cool early spring morning, she has to squint her eyes. The bright sun temporarily blinded her. 

Her hand comes up to block the sun, and her green-eyes quickly adjust to the bright sun. Once the bright sun is no longer blinding her, she see’s Joel sitting on a log a few feet past the cabin. And of course right beside him is that man  _ Booker,  _ she thinks with pure disgust. 

The young woman quickly storms out of the door and down the few steps of stairs that led up to the porch. The fire that was in her eyes back and brighter than ever. “What the fuck is this bastard doing untied?” She says once she's within two feet of the men, she has obviously interrupted their conversation, but she deems whatever they could be talking about as unimportant. 

Joel stands up, and right as he does she steps forward to meet him in the middle. “You fucking,” she jabbs her finger into his chest. “Promised that you wouldn’t untie,” she takes her finger off of Joel’s chest and aggressively points at the blond. “Him.” The way she says ‘him’, with such disgust and anger in her voices makes Booker cringe back, just a bit. 

_ Good, _ is all Ellie can think when she sees the blond man's reaction. 

“I didn’ untie ‘em Ellie, he got out while we were sleeping.” She turns her head back at Booker and sends a multitude of death glares at him. And if her looks could kill, he would be dead ten times over. “No El, when I woke up before you and Dina. He was sleeping, lying down and untied. But he was  _ sleeping _ .” 

Her anger dies down a fraction, the fact that the man could have killed Joel, Dina, and herself multiple times over the night when he was out of the ropes. And that he  _ didn’t  _ makes Ellie confused. This man was killed twice by them, tied up, and then threatened with torture. And the man didn’t even try to escape? He just… slept? 

Now Ellie has an even longer list of questions for this man. But all she can get out is a stumbled “I-- I, what?” 

The man in question finally stands up from the log that he was abandoned at, the second he stands up sending Ellie jumping backwards a few feet. Wanting distance between herself and Booker. He lets out a sigh and a mumbled, “Andy is gonna like you.” 

Ellie’s eyebrow raises at the drop of a name from him, curiosity on who Andy is burning deep. Not knowing anything personal about this man, is Andy his daughter? Wife? Sister? Someone like him? Her questions are running rampant. 

“I have said this before, and as I explained last night and again to him. I'm not planning on hurting any of you.” Booker defends himself, knowing that if he wants Joel to trust him, he needs to get Ellie on his side as well. “Hell, I want to help you two get to Seattle and get your revenge.” 

Dina finally makes her presence known to the three arguing, from the looks of it she has made herself comfortable on the porch, sitting on the rail. “I say we trust him, he hasn't done anything to us, and it seems as if he’s had plenty of time and chances.” 

The shock that Dina is on Joel and Booker’s side of the argument makes Ellie scowl, but finally she relents and nods. Reluctantly accepting the man’s presence in the group. 

“We should get going, we lost a lot of time this morning.” Says Joel, he gestures to the horses. Booker follows his hand, seeing the number of two horses. 

“Uhh… how are we planning on riding?” The man asks, his bravado slipping a bit, but it was just enough for Ellie to catch and pack away that fact for later. If the man ever slips up, she has to know his weaknesses. 

Joel seems to realize with a grimace what needs to be done. Since the group doesn’t want to add anymore time to their journey by trying to find the man a horse, or heaven forbid the amount of time it would add if he were to  _ walk _ . Ellie smiles for the first time in the morning (not induced by looking at Dina that is), she tries to stifle a laugh behind a cough. 

The agreement goes unsaid that Booker will be riding with Joel. Booker just nods his head in understanding, very reluctant to share a horse with the larger man. Ellie has a smirk, knowing that the two men that she absolutely wants to strangle are going to be the most uncomfortable for weeks, or until a better option comes around. 

  
  
  
  
  


“So, do you wanna tell me what you and Joel started arguing about last night?” Dina asks, causing a very loud and drawn out groan from Ellie. The dark-haired girl squeezes her thighs, sending a spike of longing through Ellie’s body. She turns her head and glares at her girlfriend. Her glare saying everything that she definitely does  _ not  _ want to say when Joel is within hearing distance. 

Dina throws her head back with a light laugh, finding it hilarious how easily it is to rile Ellie up. Either with a simple comment, or a simple move with her body. She knows her girlfriend is so predictable and she finds it to be the cutest thing ever. Ellie on the other hand hates how often Dina will make light of her weakness. 

“No,” Ellie huffs. Finally answering the question that Dina asked. The question that Ellie knows has been on her mind the entire morning. “I don’t, in fact, want to tell you what it was about.”

Dina’s arms tighten around her waist, she buries her head in Ellie's neck. Breathes in her sweaty scent that just smells like  _ home _ to Dina. She lifts her head back up and says with her most determined voice, not planning on backing down. “Ellie, you said you made the choice to  _ die _ .” She pauses on the word die, her words getting caught in her throat. “You can’t expect me to gloss over that fact.” 

Ellie knows that Dina has a good point. She knows that if she heard Dina say the things she said last night that she would be just as concerned about her. She would be just as pushy as Dina was currently being. 

“I know D, I-” Ellie doesn’t know what to say to get Dina off of her back, because no matter how much Dina believes in the weird ‘immortal’ shit. It will be even harder to comprehend the immunity thing that Ellie doesn’t even understand. “I… now really isn’t a good time to talk about it. Just please know that we  _ will  _ talk about it. We will.” 

“When Ellie, I just want to know when.” 

“I know this sounds horrible, but I don’t know. Not right now and probably not tomorrow. But I promise sometime before we are done in Seattle.” 

Dina sighs, knowing that is something that she will have to take as an answer at the current moment. Ellie is much more stubborn than Dina could ever be, she just has to trust that Ellie will tell her in due time.  _ Hopefully sooner rather than later _ thinks Dina. 

“Promise me one thing Ellie?” 

“Anything.” 

“Promise you won’t die on me, that you won’t seek out death?” 

Ellie stares back at Dina, flabbergasted at the suggestion that Dina said. That Ellie wanted to die.  _ I guess that's what I said last night… but I wouldn’t. No, no I wouldn’t _ . Is all Ellie can think. She just shakes her head no in response, unwilling to open her mouth afraid she’ll say something she could regret. Or say something that would make the whole situation worse. 

Dina gives her a small smile, a hint of sadness still behind her eyes. 

  
  
  
  


Joel looks back at the two girls, he can hear them having a quiet conversation between them, whispers and looks being exchanged back and forth. The blonde man behind him -Booker, Joel really needs to start thinking of him as Booker- has been quite the entire ride. Which is a feat considering they have been riding for almost five hours straight, no break. Additionally, Booker has been trying to keep as much distance between himself and Joel, sitting on the very rear of Callus II and only holding on to the back of his saddle to stabilize himself. 

Booker finally asks the question that has been plaguing his mind since he saw the first dream, since he  _ met  _ the group. “How old is your daughter?” 

Joel’s eyes widen, his back stiffens and his hands tighten on the reins even more. “I ain’t her dad.” 

“Bullshit,” Booker immediately replies to Joel. “She is just like you and for fucks sake, she called for you that night. It was the only thing I heard in that dream, and it was your daughter calling out for her dad.” 

_ So that wasn’t the blood loss making stuff up… _

“Doesn’t mean shit.” Is all Joel can grunt out, trying to keep his voice level. He can’t express these vulnerable emotions around a goddamned stranger. “She ain’t my kid, end of story.” 

“Sure as hell doesn't sound like the end of the story. But fine, you're just going to make this harder on yourself when you lose her.” 

If Joel was tense when Booker first brought up Ellie, he is absolutely frozen. He feels as if the blood in his body freezes, as if he was placed in a freezer. His stomach feels as if it is spinning in circles, making him want to double over and puke out the small bits of food he ate in the morning. 

“Don’t you fucking dare talk ‘bout that.” Is all Joel can get out without the absolute despair evident in his inflection. 

He can’t possibly think about it, he doesn’t know what he would do if he lost Ellie. He can’t lose someone else, it was Sarah, Tess, Tommy, and so many others. He couldn’t lose Ellie as well, and he can’t think about that. Not now, not here, and most definitely not with  _ Booker  _ right behind him. 

“You know, I went through this as well.” Booker starts, and Joel hasn’t collected his thoughts and emotions together quick enough to stop him. “I had sons, I had a wife. I had to watch them die while I never aged. What made it worse is they  _ knew _ . They  _ knew _ I couldn’t die and they  _ hated  _ me for it. They hated that I couldn’t give it to them. You need to save yourself from that pain and  _ let go. _ ” 

“Ellie’s different. She won’t blame me for this shit, trust me.” Joel defends Ellie. He knows she wouldn’t blame him for this. She knows what it’s like to have something that you so desperately want to share with your loved ones but  _ can’t _ . 

“You say that now, but it wont make it hurt less in the end.”

Joel was prepared to drop the conversation and ride in silence for the foreseeable future. His eyes hardening and not paying anymore attention to the loud-mouthed blond behind him. Unfortunately, his luck has run out. 

Further down the road in a nearby town they were planning on riding through, the group hears a series of gunshots and the loud booms of explosions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh man, I love angst so much. If that isn’t obvious yet by my writing so far. I mean yes, Joel is alive, Yay! But doesn’t mean they are gonna be happy and all smiles, nah this is still tlou universe 
> 
> Sorry to leave yall on a cliffhanger (not really, i hope i leave everyone in enough suspense)


	7. i'd gun nobody down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from don't take your guns to town jonny cash

The sound of the bomb surprises the horses, causing them to buck and whine. Luckily Dina had a tight enough grip on Ellie. She looks back at her girlfriend to be sure she is okay and still on the horse. Up ahead Ellie hears a cry of shock, she quickly turns her head to the sound. 

If the possibility of getting ambushed wasn’t high, Ellie would have laughed at the sight in front of her. Booker, this man that has been on Ellie’s last nerve since the night before. The blond landed on his ass, a slightly pained and embarrassed look on his face. He quickly scrambles to stand up and tries to wipe off the mud that ended up caked on his ass. Ellie looks at Joel and sees a small amused look on his face. 

Joel is the first to speak. “We’re gonna have to go through the town…” He looks down the road and tries to squint past the thicket of trees and foliage blocking his view of the upcoming town. “We have no idea if it's people fighting infected, or people fighting people. If it's the first we’re going to try to evade as much as possible and help the other group. If it’s the prior we evade as much as possible and just defend ourselves.” 

Ellie nods her affirmation, Dina lets out a quite “Yes sir,” and Booker just glares up at Joel. Seemingly mad at the man for letting him fall off of the horse, and for coming up with a battle plan before he can. 

“We taking the horses through?” Asks Ellie, she knows the horses would be able to handle the combat now that they won't be surprised by it. Nonetheless she would prefer if nothing happened to Shimmer and Callus II. 

Joel nods, “We gotta, no way to come back for them.” 

Not surprised by the answer, just a tad disappointed and worried, she solemnly nods her agreement. “We’ll be fine El, you got the best sharpshooter behind ya.” 

She smiles a bit at Dina’s comment and finally urges the group forward. Booker quickly gets back on Joel’s horse, getting up with no assistance from Joel. The urge the horses into a quick trot, wanting to get any type of confrontation over sooner rather than later. The sight of smoke rising into the air greets them as soon as the trees clear. The road leading down into a destroyed town. 

The black smoke rises high into the sky, Ellie’s eyes follow the smoke plums down to it’s culprit, spotting a large fire growing even bigger. “This is gonna fucking suck.” Is all Ellie says while the group heads into the town as quickly and quietly as possible. The horses seem to understand that whatever is going on is serious and they have to be quiet, they trot with an almost silent and light gait. 

Ellie’s breathing stops when they fully enter the town, she sees the damage that’s been done. So many windows blew out, whole buildings collapsed into themselves, dead bodies litter the ground. They can very quickly conclude that whatever is currently happening is decisively not infected. 

The knowledge that someone or some group in their very close proximity is able and willing to do this massive amount of damage strike fear into Ellie’s being. Her blood runs cold. 

Joel turns back and looks at Ellie, somehow knowing that she is freezing up. He gives her a look that tells her to  _ Suck it up, and keep moving on _ . She blinks the fear away and nods at the older man, telling him that she is good to keep moving. He nods back, figuring their silent conversation as over. 

The fighting, gunshots and screams of pain and death, sounds to be further up ahead. Ellie keeps a vigilant eye out on the buildings still standing, the comforting hold of Dina’s hands on her waist calms her nerves. Joel keeps leading the group ahead, keeping a careful eye and ear out for the danger that lies ahead. 

They make steady progress through the town, Ellie starts to think that they will make it out without even encountering anyone. The downside is that the fighting has been becoming quieter and simultaneously closer to them. Meaning that whoever is winning, that they are pushing further towards the group. 

Ellie can see the road leading out of the town, she sees the broken down road leading into a large mass of green and white they should be able to quickly ride to. Unfortunately, the escape that she spots isn't as easily accessible as she hopes. She hears shouting coming from behind her, rounding the corner and coming towards them. 

Immediately Joel hears the same as her. He gets off his horse, Booker right behind him. The men both quickly arm themselves and walk in front of the girls and their horse. “Ellie, take the horses and keep them out of this. We need them alive.” 

“Joel, I can help” 

“I know you can, but they can’t.” He looks at the horses that are anxiously walking around, sensing the anxiety of their humans. “Get ‘em outta ‘er. Then you can help.” 

“Fucking hell, okay.” All Ellie can say in reply before Dina points out to her that they need to hide the horses fast, because a group of heavily armed men come around the corner. Ellie quickly gets on Callus II. “Shit!” 

She urges Callus to go forward, trusting Dina to follow. They get to the very outskirts of the town when deems them far enough away to dump the horses safely. She checks behind her and can't see anybody following them. She nods her head in approval and gets off of Callus, “We need to go help them Dee!” 

“Right behind you babe!” 

The two girls sprint down the road, following the sounds of guns. They get down the hill and see Joel and Booker fending off a small army almost, of heavily armed men. Joel alternating between using a pipe that he found as a melee weapon and shooting his opponent with his rifle. Booker on the other hand fights in a completely different way then what Ellie has ever seen. He fights with the grace of a man who has been fighting for entire lifetimes. 

“We should find somewhere to hide out and snipe them down.” Suggests Dina, Ellie just nods as an answer and ushers Dina towards a mostly intact building practically facing the fight head on. The couple quickly run up two flights of stairs, skipping steps at times. Once high enough, Ellie sprints to a broken out window and immediately crouches down and pulls out her rifle, she lays the barrel on the window-seal. 

Finally, Ellie gets a good look at Joel through her scope. And she wants to let out a cry. She sees the man with blood running down his face, a multitude of bullet holes on his clothes. Her instinct that he is going to die out there is quickly overwritten with the realization that he can't die. Every muscle and nerve in her body fights against her mind. The desire to run back down the flights of stairs and to make sure he is okay is so overwhelmingly strong that it isn't broken until she hears the loud bang of Dina’s rifle. 

She is pulled out of her own head and moves her scope to a larger man that is coming at Joel, she carefully lines up her cross hairs to where she predicts the man will run to and she presses the trigger. The shot hits and the man falls. Ellie and Dina let off a multitude of shots, one after the other. Most making their mark, but a few fall short. 

  
  
  
  


Joel knows how he is still standing and fighting, but he doesn’t  _ know _ how he is. Logically, his brain is telling him that he has been shot one to many times and needs to find somewhere off to the side to fix his wounds. His body says otherwise, he feels practically perfect. As if he hasn’t been shot in the torso, chest, arms and legs many times. 

“How the FUCK are they still standing!” One of the men barks out at anyone else on his side that will listen. As if his shout will help when Joel has him in his sights. He brings the iron pipe down onto his skull, crushing and killing the man instantly. The smell of blood almost overwhelms him, his traitorous mind trying to send him back to the basement. 

He just turns around instead and looks to see if Booker needs any help. Unsurprisingly the man is just as bullet hole ridden as he is. Just as bloody but also just as alive. Joel quickly turns back to survey the scene, so many dead lie around the two men. But he doesn’t hear anybody else nearby or running at them. Joel sags in relief, even though his body seems to heal. He is even more exhausted after that fight then he has ever been. 

Booker walks up to him at the same time that Joel sees Ellie coming out of one of the surrounding buildings, Dina right behind her. This moment makes him think back on the first time he had Ellie snipe for him. He is so unbelievably proud of the woman that his baby girl has become. 

As soon as the two make eye contact, Ellie runs at him. Her worry was written all over her face. Once she gets next to him, she quickly looks him over. She pokes and prods at the bullet holes in his shirt and flannel. When he doesn’t flinch back in pain, or knock her hand away, she looks up at him and punches his arm. 

He lets out a pitiful ‘ouch’, and lightly rubs his arm feigning pain. “You fucking asshole, making me do the easy shit while you have all the fun.” He smiles down at her, glad to see that she is okay. He just grunts out an answer, letting her fill in the blank of what he meant. 

He feels the hot hand of Booker land on his shoulder. Joel turns to face the blond, dreading what he will say next. “How do you feel? After your first fight like this?” 

“Not my first.” Joel defensively grunts out. 

Booker rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean asshole.” 

Joel just shrugs as his answer. “Come on, let's get to the horses and move on. I don’t want to be here and wait for any infected to show up because of the noise.”

The group just nods, knowing that Joel is right and they need to move on. Dina and Ellie lead the men to where they left the horses tied up, Booker goes to follow. Joel is just about to turn around until he catches the glare of a scope from up above. His head snaps in the direction of where the sniper would be, he sees the sniper and sees where the gun is aimed. 

The barrel isn’t aimed at either Joel or Booker, no, it’s aimed at Ellie. Joel doesn’t even think before he acts, he moves rapidly towards Ellie. Hoping he will make it in time. 

He launches himself into the line of fire right before he hears the shot. He closes his eyes and prays he made it in time. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter with no immortal gang, i'm sorry to anyone missing them! I miss them too! Sorry for any inaccuracies on how guns work, i know nothing  
> Did Joel make it before it was too late? Or has Ellie died?  
> Man they've really had a bad 30 past hours havent they?  
> Also i'm sorry this is such a short chapter, the next one will be double the size


	8. when you come back and make me happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from you are my sunshine jonny cash

Nicky misses the easy access to coffee. He misses the small cafes that he could go to and get a nice cup of black coffee. Nothing added, just coffee. He misses making his own coffee, either with the modern machines or with the french press that Booker got him. Overall, Nicky misses having a cup of coffee to help him wake up when he didn’t get enough sleep the night before. The apocalypse has caused Nicky to learn to not be grumpy in the morning before he gets his coffee. The hundreds of years of living and for the first time ever he doesn’t have easy access to coffee. 

On any other given day the lack of coffee is what Nicky would say is his least favorite thing about the apocalypse. However, the massive amounts of infected that they have to fight and cut down is another hindrance to the easy going life Nicky would like to live. 

“Nile! Behind you!” Alerts Andy, Nicky takes a quick look back. Having just cut down the two runners that were coming at him with his long sword. A clicker was coming up behind Nile. She turns soon enough to see the fungus-riddled face of the clicker. But not soon enough to evade the strong grasp. 

The clicker grabs Nile by the shoulders and rips into her neck. She lets out a loud screech of pain right before it rips even more into her, swiftly killing her. Nicky being the closest to the woman cuts his way to her. Beheading and impaling two runners while getting towards their little sister. 

He gets to her, the clicker keeps eating and clawing away at her body. He comes up behind the beast and impales the infected with his sword. Quickly withdrawing his sword, he swings it down to further behead it. The infected drops with a hard thud. 

Nicky hears the loud thuds of a larger infected coming at them. He trusts Joe and Andy enough to take care of it on their own. He directs his attention to young Nile, her entire body cold to the touch, and smelling overwhelmingly of blood and sweat. Her neck was ripped open by the infecteds teeth. 

He looks down at her stomach and sees the shirt torn open and ruined, her dark stomach covered by even darker red blood. He is glad to see that even though her shirt is ruined and she will undoubtedly need a new one, her prized leather jacket is still in one piece. Nicky lets out a small breath of relief when he sees her throat healing itself back together. Her body prioritizes the most important injuries to heal first, her throat. She lets out a gasp, coming back to life when her neck heals closed.

As soon as her eyes open, she lets out a whimper of pain. Her stomach has not been completely healed that she is still in immense pain. Nicky gives her a sympathetic smile and strokes her blood stained hair. He remembered the first time coming back from being torn apart by the hands of the infected, it hurts ever so much. Your body fights to heal the physical injuries while also trying to fight the fungus wanting to claim their bodies for itself. 

The loud explosion of a shotgun, followed by the crash and explosion of a molotov makes Nicky look behind him. He sees the infected -shambler no doubt- screaming in pain as it burns in the fire caused by the molotov. The shambler falls down and there is a moment of silence that the group uses to collect themselves. 

“Everybody still with me?” Andy calls out, her typical call after a fight like the one they just had. 

Joe looks at her and nods, Nicky yells out a “Si.” 

Nile tries to say something to confirm that she is  _ alive _ , but all she can get out is a bloody gurgle. The internal damage done by the clicker is immense. Nicky quickly shushes her in rushed Italian that Nile is only able to catch a few of the words. 

“Nile is still healing!” Nicky calls to Andy and Joe, the two quickly jog over to their downed sister. 

Andy wears a worried look on her face, the healing process taking far longer than it should. “Why is it taking so long?” 

“The clicker had her in its clutches for a while, did a lot of damage to her neck and organs.” Andy lets out a hm in consideration. Nicky reminds Andy of the important detail, “You must remember that we have to fight off the infection as well, just as you did.” 

The healing having finally gone through the entire process, Nile is able to sit up with a groan. She rubs at her neck, a reminder of her first death. “I’m okay Andy, that fucker caught me by surprise.” 

“Good,” is all Andy says in response to Nile. She stands up and looks over the dark room they were in. “We need to leave in case there were anymore nearby.” 

Nicky lets out a sigh, his boss being ever so predictable. He stands up and holds his hand out to Nile. She takes it and Nicky pulls her up, she jumps up into Nicky's arms. He holds her for a second, just to make sure that she is okay. She pulls back and gives him a smile and nods, he just nods back. 

They separate, and as soon as Nile is out of his arms they are occupied with a worried Joe. He quickly and frantically checks his love over for any injuries. Joe knows that even if Nicky was injured during the fight it would have already healed over. Checking Nicky over is purely for Joe’s peace of mind. 

Once Joe deems Nicky safe and healthy, he pulls Nicky's forehead to his. Nicky’s eyelashes flutter close, no matter where he is the way his Yusef holds him like this will forever make him feel safe. 

“Boys, we need to go!” Andy snaps at them, the sounds and grunts of more infected coming their way. 

“How the fuck are there even more?” Nile asks exasperatedly. 

“Don’t know, doesn’t matter.” Andy stands at the open door, leading into an even darker corridor. Hopefully leading somewhere that they can get  _ out  _ and get back to the horses and leave this god forsaken building. Any supplies they got from here nowhere near the strife that was caused by the infected. 

The group sprints down the dark hallway, the small flashlights on their backpacks illuminating enough of the way that they don't trip. They reach the door leading outside, Nile runs towards it and slams her body into it, trying to open it quickly and efficiently. Sadly, all she does is dislocates her shoulder. 

Nile lets out a groan of pain while she quickly resets the shoulder back in place. Nicky knows that now isn’t the time to feel pride, what with them trying to evade more infected. But he lets a small smile and look of pride cross his face. The young immortal understanding that minor injuries like that means absolutely nothing to them, even if the pain still exists. 

“Fuck!” Andy hisses out. Not seeing a way out and knowing that they will very soon be cornered. 

Joe points at the small window above the door. “Do you think Nile could fit through there?” 

“Yes, yes I think I can fit through there.” Nile huffs back, frustrated at Joe not addressing her. She quickly strides forward to look at the window. “I need to break it first and I need a lift. I’ll try to either unlock it or move anything in front of it.” 

Nile does just as she said. She throws a spare brick that was lying around at the window, the loud shatter following. Joe comes forward, his back to the wall and crouchs. His hands come together to make a step for Nile, which she quickly uses to vault herself through the small window. 

Nicky hears her let out a small grunt when she undoubtedly lands uncomfortably on the hard ground. “There is a vending machine blocking the door! I think I can move it on my own, give me a minute!” 

The three older immortals don’t have time to respond to the younger. The first runner comes screeching around the corner. Nicky swings his gun around from off of his shoulder, he quickly guns down the first, second, and third runners that come around the corner. Unfortunately, the noise he made by firing those three shots alerted even more infected, the sounds of clickers rushing their way to them. 

Joe unshealths his scimitar, knowing that they unfortunately don’t have enough ammo to go the easy route and gun down the infected until Nile clears the way. Nicky steps back, planning on covering them from behind by shooting down any spare infected that Andy and Joe don’t cut down. 

And cut down they do, Andy rushes forward with a small battle cry. Something the woman hasn’t been able to drop in the thousands of years she has been living. Her labrys raised high and ready to strike down. Joe is in a similar position with his scimitar, the curved blade cutting into the legs of the infected before he impales the soft chest of the runners. 

Andy takes on a clicker, the hard fungus shell giving her labrys a tough fight. But nothing, not even a supernatural-fungus, can survive an encounter with Andy and her weapon of choice. 

Nicky shoots down two more infected before he sees far down the hallway a bloater coming their way. “Nile! How’s the door coming?” 

“I got it! I got it!” Come her muffled replies before the door is swung open, bright midday light shining into the dark building. Andy and Joe rush to the door, knowing that Nicky is following and making sure that any infected getting too close gets blown back by his expert shots. 

Once Nicky steps through the door, the others slam it shut and shove the vending machine down in front of the door. Preventing the infected from getting through. 

“So that fucking sucked.” Nile huffs out. 

Joe laughs a bit at her bluntness, while Nicky rolls his eyes. Not participating in the daily comedic fight between his love and Nile, but he most definitely appreciates the light-heartedness that Nile has added to the team. 

“That it did kid,” Agrees Andy, she grips the back of Niles neck in a simultaneously soft and tough gesture. “Let’s get back to the horses and leave this damn place.” 

A chorus of responses in three different languages are directed at Andy. The woman smiles and turns around, leading the group around the building and back to their tied up horses. 

Joe steps back to walk with Nile, checking that she is okay after that death of hers. “Are you okay sunshine?” The use of the old nickname brings a smile to both Nile and Nicky's lips, both remembering when it was given. 

  
  


\-----------

  
  


Ellie thought for sure she got everybody. She thought for sure that they were good to go and good to turn their backs on the shitty town they just had to ride through. Turns out she was fucking wrong when she feels Joel knock her down right before the shot of a rifle goes through the air. 

Her breath gets knocked out of her, the force of Joel’s push causing her to land hard on the ground. She hears rather than sees the response that Booker and Dina have to the sniper, she hears the distant yells of the man and her girlfriend. She hears the muffled gunshots going off. 

All she sees is Joel’s head lying bloody on the ground, his eyes open wide with a concerned look held on his face. His dead face, his cold and frozen dead face. The bullet having entered through the back of his head, making the exit wound a gruesome sight. 

She crawls the few feet over to Joel, tears brimming in her eyes. “No, no, no, no.” She chants. Ellie gets to his body and cradles his head in her lap. She hesitates in touching his face, her hand hovering and shaking over his body. 

A warm hand on her shoulder causes her to react by grabbing her pistol and aiming it at the person who dares to lay a hand on her. However, her blurry eyes are able to focus enough on the man in front of her. She sees the concerned look on Booker’s face. 

“Ellie, he’ll come back. It was a nasty shot to the head, so it’ll take a minute to heal.” She stares dumbfoundead at him, confused for a second. Wondering why this man is telling her that Joel could come back from a shot to the head. But then she remembers the mansion, Abby, the golf club. She remembers the conversation that happened a few nights prior, Booker saying that Joel is  _ immortal  _ basically. 

She holds her breath and looks back down at Joel. Now that she is actually looking at him, the bullet wound has completely healed. Color coming back to his face. His eyes snap open and sees the tear stricken face of Ellie. The girl looked so much younger than she has been for years. 

He wears a small smile, as if he didn’t just come back from dying. “I knew ya cared about me, kiddo.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The entire bit I added about Nicky and coffee was because of a tumblr post I saw about Nicky being obsessed with coffee. And so I am taking that as gospel and running with it, that does give Joel and Nicky something to bond over so that's cool. I also love the dynamic between all the older immortals and Nile, they just kinda all adopt her in their own little way and it makes me happy.  
> Fun Fact! Nile is only a year younger than Joel in this fic. The way my timeline lines up, Nile is 26 in the movie, meaning a year before the outbreak. Joel turned 28 on outbreak day, making Joel 54 in the second game and Nile 53 during the same time. Idk I thought this was interesting in the differences in how I characterize them. 
> 
> I'm ngl, the whole thing I wrote about Ellie crying over Joel kinda had me tear up while I was writing it. Look forward to a long ass talk/argument/fight between Ellie and Joel about everything.
> 
> Edit: I have been swamped with college stuff so I haven’t been able to write as much. Next week will have the same upload schedule, but I’ll leave it up to y’all on which day you would prefer me to update, Monday or Friday.


	9. if i ever were to lose you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from future days pearl jam (again)

After three days of almost nonstop traveling, fighting, passing out, rinse and repeat. The group was able to settle down with a bit of a break before they needed to get some sleep. Joel and Booker quickly sweeped a house, deeming it safe enough to stay in for the night. As soon as Booker comes out and nods that approval, Ellie and Dina direct the horses into the garage. 

Ellie walks inside, her feet dragging behind her. Her and Dina walk into the living room that already has a small fire going. She looks over at Joel that is sitting in the chair closest to the warm fire and she almost drops her jaw. He is sitting there with a practically perfect condition guitar sitting in his lap. His focus is entirely on tuning the instrument. 

Dina plops down on the couch, claiming the musty couch as her bed for the night. She has a smile on her face, her hope that her girlfriend will play something for her evident. 

Joel looks up from the guitar and looks into Ellie’s eyes, a deep and somber look driving into her. Before he or Ellie can say something, Booker comes in from the kitchen with a knowing look on his face. Dina looks between Joel and Ellie, sees the look in Booker’s eye that she knows they need to talk about something but they can’t with them two in the room. 

Dina stands up and starts to walk out of the room. “Booker and I are gonna go catch something… y’all do your thing.” She gives Ellie a glare, telling her to stay put and to talk to Joel. 

When both Dina and Booker are completely out of the house, Joel looks up at Ellie. “You know we have to talk about it kiddo.” 

“I thought we were supposed to just… leave the past behind us.” Ellie snaps. 

“We can’t run from everything.” He sucks in a breath, really and truthfully not wanting to have this conversation. But the accident that one day where Ellie almost died encouraged him to suck it up and talk to her. “Trust me, I’ve tried.” 

She crosses her arms, a visible sign that she is guarding herself. “What is it we need to talk about?” 

“Everything?” She just raises an eyebrow at him, encouraging him to continue. “The fireflies, Salt Lake City, whatever it is that happened in the mansion.” 

She becomes more tense at every event he mentions. “Then talk, explain. I’ll listen.” 

“I- okay. The fireflies...I’m sorry I took that choice from you, but I’m not sorry that I did it. I’ve already said that I would do it again if I had to, and I’m not gonna back down from that. I need you to understand that I can’t lose you. Not like I lost-” His voice starts to quiver, an odd sound coming from the usually stoic and emotionally guarded man that it throws Ellie off. “Not like I lost Sarah.” 

The unspoken meaning behind that flows between them. Joel indirectly admits what has been a somewhat universal truth for the past five years. The fact that Joel admitted to Ellie that yes, he does see her as his kid. No matter how much he may disagree and fight the fact. It’s undeniable, and he can’t bear to leave that fact unheard. 

“Ellie, the other day when I took that sniper shot for ya… I thought I was gonna be too late to save you. I was back in that hospital trying to get to you in time before the doctor cut into you. I thought ya were gonna die. I thought I failed you.” Ellie see’s an actual god damned tear leak out of his eye before he blinks the rest away. “Kid, I need you to know incase anything happens to me or you, that I-” 

Ellie wants to say something, but she can’t gather enough courage to muster up a response. “You don’t have to say it.” She softly says, knowing hard this has to be for this emotionally guarded man that she has learned from. 

“Ya I do.” He grunts out, his hands idly cleaning off the guitar. “Ellie, I love you.” She tries to blink back her own tears unsuccessfully. “I know before we left Jackson that I said I ain’t yer dad. And you don’t have to accept me as that, just know that I see you as my kid.” 

She quickly wipes away her tears, hoping he doesn’t see them. He does, but doesn’t say anything about it. “When you were getting… when the mansion happened… I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again. I thought you were going to die right there in front of me and I couldn’t do anything to help you. And I guess you kinda did. Uh I thought I was never going to see you again, I thought we were never gonna have another movie night… that I wouldn’t be able to forgive you.” 

“I'm so sorry that you had to see that, even though all this shit happened.” 

“You know, even though I know you are alive… I still have nightmares about that night. I still see your head smashed open, bloody and in bits in my head. It just-” Ellie grips her head, her fingers digging into her hair, pulling the auburn strands out of her half-up do. Her sobs engulfing her small frame. “It just won’t leave my head!”

Joel sits across her frozen. He knew she hasn’t been sleeping well, she’s been taking more watch shifts. Her eyes have seem to be more sunken in with large bags underneath. His thought was that the traveling has been getting to her. He couldn’t even comprehend the fact that his first death was traumatic for her. He didn’t know that she  _ saw _ so much of it. 

Without thinking, Joel stands up from his chair. The guitar falls onto the ground, ignored by the older man. Left to lie on its face, forgotten. He rushes to Ellie, crossing the few feet separating them. He pulls the girl into his chest, the actions reflecting similarly to that winter. She sobs into his shirt, soaking it with her tears. Her hands grip at the fabric, like a young child does with their parents. Too afraid to let go in case they leave them. 

Joel holds her against his chest, pulling her down to the ground with him. They collapse into a pile, Joel sitting cross-legged with Ellie curled up in his lap. The young woman let out the emotions she has held at bay for years. Traumas of not only witnessing Joel’s death, but the happening with David, and Riley's death, the abandonment of her mother, her immunity. Every small bit of trauma and repressed memories coming back up. Forcing Ellie to relive the moments, relive the memories. 

Joel lets her cry, lets her release the pent up emotions. He thinks back and regrets when he has pushed her feelings aside because he wanted to compartmentalize his own thoughts. Not caring about the young impressionable girl that became his charge. Joel would go back in time and slap himself silly, tell himself to shape up and be a better role model for Ellie. 

He cards his fingers through her hair, softly pulling the remaining hairs out of her ponytail. “I'm so sorry baby girl, I'm so sorry.” He rocks her against him, her sobs quieting down because of pure exhaustion that her catharsis caused. “I know ‘sorry’ won’t fix this. But we can try.” 

She looks back up at him, her tears glistening in her eyes. Her utter dejectedness evident in her eyes staring up at him. “I don't know what to do.” She mumbles up at him, the words barely comprehensible to his ears. He squeezes her tighter as his initial response, trying to collect his thoughts on what to say, on what could possibly help. 

“About what baby girl? Think small steps.” His voice comes out gruffer than usual, the sound of him choking back tears evident in his tone. “We have to take small steps to recovery. That’s-” He pauses again. Having never talked about his parents since even before the outbreak happened. “That’s what my Ma always said to me.” 

At the mention of Joel’s mother, Ellie’s eyes widen. She obviously knew he had parents, everyone does. She knows he has a relationship with his brother, meaning his parents were somewhat involved in his life. But she has  _ never _ heard him talk about them. He talks more about Sarah than he does his parents. Which says something, because the Texan almost never talks about his daughter.

“My Ma used to always say to take everything day by day, minute for minute if you have to. And If that is what we have to do then we will.” 

“You won't…” She pauses, a myriad of emotions flow through her face. “You won’t drop it? And you won’t lie to me? Ever again?” 

“Never. I promise you Ellie. We will talk more tomorrow.” The look of scensitrty on his face amazes Ellie. She just nods instead of verbally answering Joel. “Let’s get you to bed El. You’re exhausted.” 

At the mention of her going to sleep, her eyes widen with panic. “No, no,” Mumbles Ellie, she shakes her head, her auburn hair swirling around her face. Joel just positions Ellie around, one arm sliding underneath her legs and the other supporting her head. He tries to not compare how he is holding Ellie to Sarah. His first sweet baby girl that died in his arms, Ellie is of no means a replacement for Sarah, Joel knows that. 

He carries the exhausted form of Ellie to the makeshift bed on the floor near the fireplace. The girl's soft reluctance is enduring, now that Joel knows why she is so hesitant to go to bed. She needs to sleep, and Booker and Dina should be getting back sometime soon. The two  _ less _ -emotionally repressed father-daughter duo can’t bear their emotions in front of each other with others around. 

He lies her down, her eyelids already fluttering close. He runs his hand over her hair, smoothing down the pieces of hair that have begun sticking up from the stressing she gave them. Right as Joel moves to get up, her hand grips his shirt again, with the strength of a clicker. He looks back down at her, his question clear on his face. 

Ellie sucks in a breath, absolutely hating how emotionally exposed she has been that night, before she quickly asks Joel to sit by her while she goes to sleep. He nods his head, understanding with no judgement. Joel remembers when Sarah would have nightmares and needed him to stay by her side while she fell asleep, even back when him and Tommy were kids and Tommy would have the same thing. Nightmares, but too afraid to ask Ma to stay near him. 

Joel settles down near her head, sitting as comfortably as one can on the hardwood floor. His long legs lie out in front of him. He reaches over for the abandoned guitar and starts strumming a familiar melody. His fingers pluck at the strings, gathering the courage to gruffly sing for Ellie. 

“ _ If I ever were to lose you -”  _

* * *

“So, you say you’re 200 years old?” Dina awkwardly asks, trying to break the silence between the two. Booker looks over at the young girl, internally groaning at the questions she will undoubtedly have. 

“More than that actually.” He responds. A smirk of glee on his face at the face she makes to his response. Before she schools her face back into a more passive response. 

She lets out an inquisitorial hum, “So when did you first die?” 

Even though Booker doesn’t particularly enjoy talking about his past, he knows overall he needs to gain more trust between Ellie and Joel. Telling Dina more about himself could then travel back to the father-daughter duo, hopefully becoming more trustworthy for them. Booker decides that even though he will tell the girl his past, he will still give her a bit of shit. 

“Well, that’s a quite rude question.” 

She witty quips back “It’s quite rude on how you barged into my life, but you don’t see me giving you shit about that.” 

His eyebrows raise, not only will Andy like Ellie for the fire behind her, she along with Nile will like the woman that comes alongside Ellie. Matching her in fast-wit and bluntness. “Fair.” 

“So,” she draws the ‘so’ along for a few seconds longer than typical. “Are you gonna tell me or leave me in suspense.” 

“Do you know anything about Napoleon?” He asks her. Genuinely inquiring, he knows the overall education of the youths in the current time is practically nonexistent. 

“He’s that one French dude right? I think I read a book about him a few years ago in the Jackson library.” It’s so strange for Booker to think that in fifty years, modern education went from wide and diverse downgrading to only knowing the essentials. 

“That one French dude?” He scoffs. “He was an asshole, a short power-hungry asshole that only thought of himself. He brought shame upon France for many years.” 

“What does Napoleon have to do with you though?” The way she pronounces Napoleon would make his eye twitch if he didn’t absolutely despise that man. “Wasn’t that like… 300 years ago? Before you were alive right?” 

Booker laughs, he can’t help it. The humor in the situation was too much for him to handle. “No,  _ Le Petit Caporal _ was in the early 1800’s, I was forced to serve in his army. When I tried to leave to get back to my family. They hung me for dissertation somewhere in Russia. I am not sure if my first death was caused by the rope, or the biting cold.” 

He quickly shuts his mouth, biting on his tongue as to stop thinking about the horrifying months he went through. The repetitive deaths before he was able to maneuver himself down from his noose. The number of times he froze to death, starved, and tried to put himself out of his misery. Failing each time. 

“Shit. I’m sorry I asked, that sounds horrible. Were you able to get back to your family?”

He doesn’t know how to tell her that this is no better of a topic than beforehand. “I was, but as you can guess…” He just shrugs as an ending to his sentence, not able to find the right words to say. 

Dina nods in understanding. She looks around for a few seconds, then gestures to a knocked over log lying on the ground, indicating for the two to sit down. Booker lets her sit down, then follows in suit. The girl looks at him, turmoil and pure emotion twirling around in her dark eyes. “I lost my sister and mom. I saw them die in front of me. I know this isn’t exactly comforting, but nowadays there are more people that have lost loved ones than people who haven’t. It’s different for everyone. Some may lose them because of the infected, or because of other groups, or for other horrible and shitty reasons. It’s horrible but it’s something that you can get over.” 

Booker tries to stop himself from looking down at the kid with such an astonished look on his face, but he can’t help it. How can a child give better advice than anyone else he has talked to? To be fair, Booker has only really talked with his family about this, and they truly didn’t understand where he was coming from. He just gives Dina a small ‘hum’ in response and looks back at the tree line. The facade of keeping a watch for the infected slipping when his eyes can barely even focus on one tree. His eyesight blurs with tears that he tries to blink away.

“Man, I don’t want to deal with another emotionally constipated person. I’ve already got Ellie and Joel. Not you as well man.” Somehow, this girl is able to jump from a serious and depressing topic to something a bit more lighthearted. Reminds him a bit of Nile. “Give me something to deal with that  _ isn’t  _ depressing.”

“Like what? A historical figure I’ve met? Because I’m not that old, I truly haven’t met that many.”

Dina scoffs, as if Booker has said something absolutely hilarious. “I don’t even know a whole lot about much pre-outbreak day. They don’t really teach you that when you’re running for your like. No, I want to know about the world before all of this. I want to know about everything that everyone else can’t bear to talk about.” 

Booker raises an eyebrow, the request making sense when applied to the situation. This girl never had a proper education, probably only learned what she read herself when she had the time. This girl that was raised in this apocalyptic world and has never seen another world. The people that remember that world are either dead or have too many bad memories to even want to talk about it. 

“Oh..” Booker racks his head about the many things he misses about pre-outbreak day life. The strange calmness of a night in paris. The bright lights and soft sounds of cars driving by pulling him into sleep. Or the hectic mess of airplanes and travel, the sheer impressiveness of airplanes and how easy travel became. The ability of small acts of kindness in coffee shops, holding the door open for a mother with her arms full, or paying for a bag of groceries for a family in need. The human kindness that was lost along with humanity. 

“I miss France…” 

* * *

The continued dreams of Booker and Joel has made Nile miss Booker's presence even more than she has been for the past twenty-five years. During the year between his exile and the outbreak, they kept in contact. Even meeting up a few times when they had the chance. 

Nile isn’t dumb, she knows that Booker had some type of infatuation with her. The way he shied away from her gaze, the number of times she has caught him staring longingly at her, the small but intimate touches they exchanged when they were in person, even the amount of times he checked up with her during that year. The thing that Nile hasn’t been able to fully understand is where she stands with Booker. She never gave it much thought during that year, she had the thought that if anything was going to happen it would take years to fully transpire. But then when everything happened, a wrench was thrown in her plans.

With no idea if Booker made it to the states in time, and even if he did where is he now? It’s not like Nile can send him a quick message inquiring on where to meet-up next. Now that she knows he’s in America, and not only in America but heading to Seattle, the exact same place that her and her family are traveling to. She doesn’t know what to expect, it’s not like she can react in any way with him. She has to let everything play out with Nicky and his reactions to seeing Booker so soon. She can’t make anything worse for him, she  _ won’t.  _

Nile pulls the leather jacket tighter around her, the only thing she has left of Booker. The one thing that the team doesn’t know why she is so attached to, other than the fact that it came from her first solo mission. The others only know it to be a memento from the first time she was on her own, Andy on the other hand most likely has an idea of what it is. Having known that she called Booker for help that week. That she came back with a leather jacket that is not in her usual wardrobe, and is in his. That she hasn’t parted with it since she had it, even with the outbreak.

Nile and her family are closer to Seattle than they thought they would get in the time that they’ve been riding. If Nile’s estimates are correct, she believes they will arrive in Seattle before Booker and Joel and the two girls with them. Andy and her haven’t discussed what exactly they will do when they get back to Seattle. They haven’t been there since the start of the outbreak when they were sent by Copley to help in attempting to keep it under control. The addition of the odd cultish dreams involving Quyhn has Nile even more confused, confused but unwilling to bring Andy and the others false faith about finding Quyhn. 

She decides to voice her thoughts on the matter of Seattle, trying to distract herself about Quynh. “Andy?” At the sound of her name, the other woman turns around on her horse - Blackjack that Nile has finally decided to name for her- her reply resting obviously on her face. “I think we should be arriving in Seattle before the others do… what’s the plan then?” 

Andy breathes out a sigh, knowing that Nile is correct but dreading the idea of having to deal with whatever factions have shown up in Seattle since they have left. Wondering if Issac and his small band of ‘WLFs’ were able to overpower the forces of FEDRA, or if the small cult grew anymore. “I don’t know if it's a good idea to even make a solid plan. We don’t know what it is that we will be walking into. So much could have changed in the past twenty-years, we all know that.” 

The other three give a hum in agreement, knowing that Andy unfortunately is correct about the lack of foreknowledge of what they will be walking into could be dangerous. “Boss, if FEDRA is still a thing in their QZ I say we avoid them at all costs. You know they didn’t like us.”

Nicky adds to Joe’s point, “I doubt they are, why else would the WLF’s send people states over for a revenge plot if they weren’t stable? We should still probably avoid them as well. They may recognize us and wonder why we haven’t aged… and why Andy is alive.” 

The mention of Andy’s  _ incident  _ makes everyone cringe a bit. The horror and despair that came from how they found out Andy regained her immortality sends a shiver up their spines. 

“Yeah, probably a good idea for us to avoid the WLF’s… what about that one cult? How do you think they are doing?” Asks Nile, if her dreams were to be believed, then they were doing  _ fine _ , but that’s if those can be trusted. And Nile isn’t going to bring up what her other dreams are about. She truly doesn’t want to get their hopes up in case they’re wrong. 

“Guess we’ll have to see… didn’t you get to know… oh what was her name? Eve?” Andy’s question gets directed back to Nile, the girl did try to reason with the emerging leader of the cult. The women grew to have an appreciation of each other, Andy used to tease Nile that Eve liked her but Nile always was very quick to dismiss her. 

“I mean… yeah. But she isn’t the most mentally stable, and she may not even be alive.” Nile seriously doubts that woman is still alive, the self proclaimed ‘prophet’ had a bit of a martyr complex. Dreams of sacrificing herself for her followers. 

“Who knows what we will be walking into when we get there, I’m just hoping that we won’t have to fight our way to a safe place until we can meet up with the others.” The other three nod in agreement, the exhaustion of constantly having to fight to survive. Fighting people or infected are equally exhausting in their own right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that the angst in the first part of the chapter frustrated me enough to write the Smell of Leather and Smoke fic. I would write a paragraph then give up and write like 2,000 words for that fic. I really said that I’m okay with putting Booker through angst and pain, but not my loves Ellie and Joel.  
> I wanted to add in a funny thing that Booker did between his death and before everything with Merrick happened… I truly couldn’t think of anything interesting lol. So I just made him sad instead.  
> I have entire lore about the Seraphites and the connections to you-know-who, if any of yall can guess on what I’m doing with Quynh i’ll uhhhh give you some type of reward idk  
> Also, the next chapter is 100% the most fun i’ve had in writing. I absolutely love the next chapter and i hope yall enjoy it as much as i did writing it. 
> 
> again! i am going to have to cut down to only one update a week instead of two because of college. i will let yall comment on what you would prefer, monday updates or friday.


	10. whatever doesn't kill me better run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from whatever doesnt kill me (better run) benj heard

_ Twenty years after the Outbreak, two weeks after the incident at Martyrs Gate _

The dark haired woman still feels water sloshing in her lungs. The heavy weight of salty water turned around in her lungs, causing the woman to cough up more water. Her whole body is soaked, her clothes heavy with water and in ruins. 

She can feel the solid ground beneath, but she still feels as if she is moving along with the current. The woman knows she is out of the water, but she still hears the muffled sounds of the ocean. She tries to crack open her salt crusted eyes, trying to look up into the sky that she hasn’t properly viewed in hundreds if not thousands of years. Her concept of time completely warped by the endless deaths she’s gone through. 

The woman slowly blinks her eyes open, she just gazes up at the night sky. The dark and beautiful night sky steals away her breath in a different way than how her breath has been stolen from her for as long as she can remember. The splattering of twinkling stars brings back memories that seem so far away.

A light skinned woman caressing her face while they lie under the stars, rough and dry sand rubbing against her back, she has beautiful dark red hair. Following the stars to move west towards another couple, a couple that they have been dreaming of. The dark curled hair man and the blond man, she remembers the dreams of them killing each other, again and again. 

The woman’s name is at the tip of her tongue, Andr… Andro-. The woman wants to rip her hair out, unable to remember her name. Unable to remember her life with the woman, she remembers the feelings of love she had,  _ has _ , for her. She remembers the reciprocating love from the woman. But she doesn’t have the strength to bring her arms up to tug.

The woman gives up on trying to move, instead giving way to sleep. The relief of being able to sleep instead of drowning brings a small smile to her lips, the first that has graced her face in years. She closes her eyes again and drifts away, but instead of drifting along the currents she drifts off into the unconsciousness of sleep. 

Unfortunately the dreams the woman has shocks her awake a few hours away. She dreams of a blond White man being hung for desertion, dreams of the hate his family gives him when they found the truth of him, she dreams of how he met  _ Androm-  _ and the others, dreams of the depression he goes into when he dreams of  _ her.  _ She dreams of his jealousy of the two other men, jealousy on how  _ Andromac-  _ is able to cope with their life, she dreams of his eventual betrayal.

Her dreams then rapidly switches over to a Black woman with her throat getting sliced open and her first death, bleeding out in the arms of another woman. It makes her remember the times she has died in the arms of  _ Andromach-.  _ She feels the confusion and despair from the Black woman, she feels the fear she felt when she first dreams of herself. She sees the other woman getting shot by  _ Andromac-,  _ dreams of her first meeting the others. She dreams of interactions between the Black woman and the White man, she dreams of dead bodies coming to life in an even more unnatural way than her and her family come back to life. 

The woman jolts awake in shock, feeling hands on her body. She immediately starts hitting at the hands, screaming to get off of her. They don’t listen, they say stuff about ‘freeing her’, the woman doesn’t understand what they want from her. She is still too disorientated to even know who she is. Her dark eyes finally fight open, but as soon as she opens her eyes she snaps them close. The bright unusual sunlight burns her retinas. 

The woman lets out a scream of confusion when the body holding her wraps a rope around her neck. Even though the woman doesn’t remember anything,  _ other than Andromach- _ , she knows what this rope will do to her. She knows the pain and burn from the rope. The burn of her throat getting cut off from air, and the pain from the rope rubbing and indenting her neck. The continued deaths as she comes back to consciousness. 

She tries to fight the large person holding her. She pulls at the person’s hair that was tied back in an intricate braid,  _ like she has done for Andromac- _ , she tries to jab her fingers into the woman’s eyes. The other woman easily overpowers the weaker woman. She gets strung up and hears someone say something again along the lines of ‘freeing her’. The dark haired woman frantically looks around as she slowly asphyxiates, her vision begins to blur. Her eyes dart to the blurring figure of someone else walking up to her, they bring up a weapon of sorts and set it on her stomach. 

She frantically tries to look down to see what they will do, before she can fully focus her eyes, they quickly draw the blade across her stomach. She screams out in pain and finally blacks out. The pain from her guts falling out combined with losing air causes her to have a quick but much more painful death than she has been used to. 

The woman doesn’t know how long it took for her body to heal, she never does. All she does know is that when she comes to she feels the cold and wet feeling of grass against her back. She feels hands softly brushing her hair back. The woman finally says the first thing she has since she finally washed up on shore. She lets out a quiet but scratchy call for the one person she remembers. 

“ _ Andromache…” _

She is shushed by the person at her head. They say to her to rest, they call her  _ Prophet _ , they let out a long line of apologies. So many that she isn’t even sure what they are apologizing for. The woman doesn’t know where she is, she doesn’t know how she got down from the noose, she does know that she is absolutely exhausted so she promptly passes out again. This time out of sheer exhaustion instead of a death. 

  
  
  


The Prophet can’t remember her actual name, the people around her refuse to call her anything other than  _ Prophet _ . She does however know that these people taking care of her are called  _ Seraphites,  _ she also knows that she is not who they think she is. The Prophet knows better than to try to correct these people, the Seraphites have told her that she is the Prophet reborn. Brought back to life. That she is sent to them from the Prophets power and influence, they believe that she will help them against the wolves. She doesn’t know who these wolves are, the Seraphites talk of them as if they are a different group of people. That confuses the Prophet, she knows what wolves are and they are not people. 

Her disciples explain to her their way of life, the way they ignore the old world's technology. The woman is confused on what they mean about modern technology. Everything that they have been using, from bows to hammers, are modern to her. There have even been things she doesn’t recognize, there are many metal and steel objects that some of the warriors carry around. 

They explain to her the demons. The brutality of the infection and how the demons are sent from the heavens as a punishment for mankind's sins. They tell her that her previous life was a Prophet upon them, that she explained the proper beliefs and how to atone for their sins. They told her that her previous life is the reason that everyone other than young children have large scars on their faces. The scars and mutilation is what confused the woman the most, even though she knows it wasn’t her past life that told them to do that to themselves, she is still in disbelief that anyone would ask that of someone and that they would above all listen. 

They try to explain to her over a span of a year on who she is. However, she knows better. She knows that she is something more than just their ‘Prophet’, she knows that she has lived much longer than they believe her to have lived, she knows that she has not stepped foot on land for a minimum of three-hundred years. Most likely more. She knows there is no way for her to be who they say she is, but she allows it to carry on. She understands that if she were to speak up and refute their beliefs that she would be killed brutally, over and over again. So instead she waits, she waits for  _ Andromache  _ to find her (because the woman remembers that is what they did, they always found each other no matter what), she waits to regain her memories other than the woman. She tries to piece together the dreams she has of the others. 

The one thing that brings her hope is that in the younger woman’s dreams she sees her. She sees her  _ Andromache _ , she may look different from what the woman remembers. She has shorter hair, and her clothing is something that the Prophet has never remembered seeing her in. But she knows that she is  _ alive _ , that she has lived through so much. And that she misses her, the woman has seen the Black woman ask  _ Andromache  _ questions about her and the only visible response that she can see is pure  _ despair _ on  _ Andromache’s _ face. 

She stares at herself through the foggy and distorted mirror. She looks at her dark hair that falls down her back, the morning being early enough that no disciple has hurriedly come in to try to talk to her and fix up her hair. She quietly runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes, pretending her hand is  _ Andromache’s  _ hand. The only person she can properly remember without feeling a heavy feeling of  _ rage _ in her gut. 

She isn’t sure why exactly she feels so angry. She doesn’t particularly enjoy the feeling, she doesn’t like when she snaps and almost kills one of the disciples just trying to help her with her hair. Sometimes she has days where her mind is back in that iron casket, back to drifting along the ocean floor, back to being dragged around by large ocean animals until they give up on her and leave her back to drifting. On those days the Seraphites are unable to get their Prophet out of bed, they mark it up to her mind healing back to who she used to be and nothing else. Gaining memories that she knows she will never gain, for they were never her own memories. 

Somedays their Prophet will stalk out of her house, pure unreasonable rage on her face and murder revenging behind her eyes. When the Seraphites see her when she is like that, they quickly direct her towards the Wolves that they have locked up. They tell her the petty crimes that they have committed, ranging from theft and infiltration to the murder and slaughter of their people. The woman knows that they wouldn’t have to tell her what they have done for her to let her anger out on them. These people are unfortunately subjected to the rage of a woman that was locked in an iron casket for hundreds of years, her fury causing her to blind her mind to any reason. 

These people are subjected to her hands and blades of torture. The lucky ones are the ones that remind her enough of  _ Andromache  _ and the other four. They are quickly and swiftly met with their death, and a slice on their throat that makes them pass out quickly from the pain before they bleed out. The very unlucky are white men that remind her of the ones that locked her in her cage. Those men get their fingernails torn out, they get limbs hacked off and bones destroyed until they eventually die from their body giving up on them. 

Some days the disciples have to pull her off of long-dead bodies. Her eyes wide and unseeing, a look far away when her whole body is covered in blood. Her hair matted and dried blood crusting under her fingernails. Those days when she is so far out of it the Seraphites have to manipulate her into a small tub with little to no water. She won’t allow them to put her in a proper tub, the memories of drowning and salt water filling her lungs forever embedded in her mind. 

A quiet and pensive knock is heard on the woman’s door, most likely the disciple coming in to do her hair. She lets out a rough affirmation, the woman's throat still not healed from the amount of salt she has swallowed in her time in the ocean. She sees from the corner of her eye a small girl walking in, different from the normal disciple who does her hair. The Prophet turns around on her stool and cocks her head at the girl. 

The girl reminds the Prophet of children in her past life, of children that she has raised and children she has saved. Reminds her of motherhood that she didn’t even know she was missing until she laid eyes upon the child. Without notice, a small tear leaks out of the woman’s eye. She quickly wipes it away, but not before gazing down at the lone tear on her hand. The woman looks back up at the girl. 

“Who are you?” 

The child in question looks nervous, practically shaking in her shoes. She stuttered out a quiet “Yara.”

The name rings a bell to the woman, she thinks of the dark haired man and the hot deserts. “Do you know what your name means, Yara?” 

The girl quickly shakes her head, not knowing where her Prophet is taking this. She has heard stories from her mother and the other women around about the Prophet. About how she doesn’t really talk to anyone, she will say a few words or short sentences. Sometimes she will squint at a woman from far away with dark red hair and whisper out the name ‘Andromache’, but then she will quickly look away with a sad but confused look on her face. 

“It means  _ Little Butterfly _ , do you see yourself as a butterfly? Little Yara?” 

The woman doesn’t know how she knows the meaning of the girl's name, doesn’t even know why she felt the need to inform the child of the meaning. The woman looks at the young girl and she feels the need to take care of and love the child. An odd feeling of maternal love hits the woman in her heart. Yara stares at the Prophet, her dark eyes held wide with shock. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to respond to the older woman. 

“What does that mean?” Is the girls final response, questioning what the woman means. 

The woman decides to not answer the girl's question, she is not sure on what she meant in the first place. Instead she gives Yara a light smile that reaches her eyes and gestures for her to come near her. Yara responds quickly, assuming the Prophet has had enough of her own games and would like for Yara to do what she was instructed to do. 

Instead, when the young girl moves to get behind the woman so she can braid her hair. The woman instead holds her hand out, preventing the girl from getting behind her. The Prophet looks at Yara and gestures for her to instead sit in front of her. Yara quickly shakes her head, the absurdity of sitting at the Prophets feet over weighs her need to please her. While the girl shakes her head, the Prophet lays a cool hand on the young girl's shoulder and lightly guides her to sit at her feet. 

The girl hesitantly follows her Prophet’s instructions, unsure of what she plans. When Yara sits down, her back centimetres away from the older woman’s legs, the Prophet starts to undo Yara’s braid. The girl quickly reacts by bringing her hands up with a small shout of surprise, however she quickly stops herself from preventing the Prophet to do what she does. 

The older woman slowly and gently undoes the girl's hair, the dark hair falling down in loose ringlets that developed from sitting in the tight braid repeatedly everyday. She rakes her fingers through the girl's hair, detangling it to the best of her ability. She quickly and deftly pulls Yara’s hair into an even more intricate braid, where instead of wrapping completely around her head in a simple braid, it is braided into two sections down her skull. The two sections meet up to form two small buns on her head. 

As soon as she is done with Yara’s hair the young girl tentatively brings her hand up to touch and observe her hair. The shock of the Prophet doing her hair, an orphan that was sent to serve the Prophet was instead taken care of by the other woman. Yara looks back at the woman, shock held on her young face. The older woman looks down at her, a smile on her lips and for the first time since she washed up on shore felt that she was where she belonged. She knew she was to take care of the child. 

Hesitantly, the girl asks quietly, “Why?” 

  
  


The girl's question went unanswered, but it became a normal routine. In the morning Yara would arrive at the Prophets doorstep and be let in by her guards. The Prophet would then do a different hairstyle for Yara everyday, and when she was done she would quickly and efficiently do her own hair. 

Somehow, the morning routines with Yara grow into day-long routines. She would braid Yara’s hair, the two would share a breakfast. Sharing a breakfast grew into the woman asking questions about Yara’s life. Yara in turn would hesitantly ask a question to the Prophet, which if she knew the question she would answer. Sadly, she usually wasn’t sure on most questions what the proper answer was. They would then have lunch which turned into dinner. 

Eventually Yara asked the older woman if she could bring her younger sibling with her. Yara quickly explains that they were orphaned at a young age and only had each other. She explained that with Yara gone for longer periods of time that her sibling grew more and more anxious without her. The Prophet immediately allows and encourages Yara to bring her sibling the next day. 

She asks how old Yara was when they lost their mother, Yara replies with a quiet response that she was seven, and her sibling was five. Her sibling doesn't remember much of their mother, they both are not treated well by the orphanage run by the elders in Haven. Annoyance prickles up the Prophet's spine, angered by the children losing their parents so young, angered by them not being treated properly by her people. 

The next day the older woman welcomes the younger child with warm and welcome arms. They all sit down and have a small breakfast together. The Prophet braids both Yara and her siblings hair, the older woman however noticed the visible wince that the younger child gave when the Prophet started to do their hair. She quirks her head, having to remember the child's hesitancy about their hair and to ask them why. 

Over a year of the same routine eventually leads to the two children moving into the Prophets lodging. Upon request of the Prophet of course, which was quickly accepted and the two children were moved into her large home. Their meager belongings followed them from the orphanage in Haven into their own rooms. Over a year of exposure and learning of the Seraphites culture allows for the woman to slowly nurse her brain back to health. She gains more and more memories of her past life and slowly resents the Searphites more, disapproving of their way of life and how they handle many aspects of the new life.

She tells the children about her past life where she walked and fought the world alongside Andromache. The life where she had brothers in arms that she would, and had, die for. She remembers what events lead up to the endless despair that became the years of her drowning in the ocean. She always writes down her memories, afraid that if she doesn’t record them then she will forget again. She tells the two her memories, and they are sure to hold onto her memories as if they are just bedtime stories. The two children find enjoyment and more importantly a home in the older woman. 

As soon as she remembers the most important detail she is sure to tell the children. She deems her two charges are the most important to hear her most valuable memory that has been restored. Her name. 

_ Her name is Quynh.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so, this entire chapter is in Quynh’s point of view, however she doesn’t know who she is. I have had the idea of Quynh being some part of the Seraphites for a while until I came up with this idea that she washed up on shore after the death of the first prophet and all that stuff happens.  
> Basically, Quynh doesn’t know who she is but she is like… yes… they are my children. I do not know who i am, but i am now mother  
> I also furthermore could not allow myself to not have Yara or Lev in this fic. I love them both too much to have them suffer through everything that happened to them in game. I also am not going to deadname Lev or misgender him. It doesn’t matter in my opinion that he isn’t out to Yara or Quynh yet, I personally won’t misgender him, which means Quynh won’t either.  
> Obviously this fic is going to be much longer than my originally plotted out 10 chapters, as we have already hit the ten chapter mark and no one is in seattle yet other than Quynh.  
> Unless someone says otherwise, my plan for a new update schedule will be every friday. im hoping moving from updating twice a week to only once will let me catch up both in school and this fic.


	11. i'm a loser baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from loser beck

“What are the others like? The other that I’ve been dreaming of?” Joel asks the other immortal. His own face illuminated by the small fire sat between the two men keeping watch. Dina and Ellie curled around each other trying to catch a few hours of sleep before they needed to leave, or before Ellie was forced awake by her nightmares. 

Booker looks up at Joel, the man was originally distracting himself with some book he was able to snatch at an abandoned library they raided a few days back. “Which one do you want to know about first?” 

Joel shrugs, no real opinion on who Booker explains first. Booker takes that as he can choose who he wishes to explain first. “So, the first is Nile. She is the youngest beside you, her first death was about a year before the outbreak. She’s uh… she’s pretty amazing, even though it was quite a shock for her to wake up on her own. She was in the military and was killed while on duty.” Booker has to almost physically stop himself from talking more about Nile. Telling too many details that the man doesn’t need to know, like how her face looks when she sleeps. Or the face she pulls when he says something dumb. 

“The two men are Joe and Nicky. They are much older than myself, their first death was together in the Crusades.” Joel lets out a soft ‘holy shit’ under his breath. “The first Crusades, so around 1090’s. They killed each other, many times. They ended up reconciling after many years and ended up falling in love. They uh, they tell this better than I do.” 

Booker awkwardly scratches the back of his head, talking about Nicky and Joe makes Booker nauseated. His despair and hatred for himself for betraying them still burning bright in his mind. For almost the millionth time, the Frenchman is glad that Joel doesn’t know about his betrayal. That he hasn’t asked why they are separated. Joel nods in understanding, the shock of how old the two men are making him go silent. 

“The uh, the other woman is Andy, her uh full name is Andromache the Scythian. She doesn’t actually know how old she is, we all have different bets about her age. I think she’s over 4,000, Joe thinks around 3,500 and Nicky is betting on a safe 6,000.” If Joel was shocked by Joe and Nicky’s ages, he was absolutely dumbfounded by Andy. 

“So we don’t die… at all.” 

Booker grimaces dreading the fact that he has to break the news that they will, eventually, die. They won’t ever know when and it’ll happen with no warning. The immortality deciding to just turn off. “Nothing lives forever Joel, not even us.” Joel looks at him with confusion, not understanding what he means if Andy has lived thousands of years. “Last time I saw Andy she wasn’t healing. She was shot and the wound didn’t heal over. The last time I saw Andy was about a year before the outbreak, right after Nile’s immortality showed up.” 

Joel puts together the facts that the other man has been separated from the other members for over twenty-five years. When Joel knows that the others are at least in America now, if not even right as the outbreak happened. Joel begins to question what exactly happened that caused them to separate. 

“Well, if it makes you feel better I’ve seen both women die and come back. So Andy has somehow regained her immortality.” Now it was Booker’s turn to wear a shocked but relieved face. His hope that somehow Andy has survived the end of the world was validated and made true by this man. He sees the man in front of him tear up, his emotions becoming overrun by relief. “Now, I want ya to tell me why you aren’t with them. Why and how y’all got separated.” 

Booker knew the man wasn’t going to be able to overlook the fact that they are separated. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to avoid this topic forever. If he didn’t find out from Booker, he and the two girls as well will find out what he did when they meet up with the others. When Nicky undoubtedly gets mad at seeing him again before his 100 year exile is up. Or how Joe reacts to him, or even Nile and Andy. 

“I uh, I betrayed them around the same time that Nile showed up. Actually it happened all within a week or so. I was in a very bad place and wanted to help the world and also find a way to properly kill myself… But it wasn’t my choice to make, it wasn’t my choice to give up my family to try to find a way to be selfish and satisfied with myself. I ruined their trust in me and was exiled. I thought I killed Andy when I tried to get us all to Merrick, I shot her and she didn’t heal.” A tear quickly falls down Booker’s face, he doesn’t even move to wipe it away. It doesn’t matter to him if the other guy sees him cry, he fucked up and Joel deserves to know that. “When everything ended and Nile got us out of the building, the group came to the conclusion to exile me for 100 years. The expectation that if anything back would truly happen then they could contact me… but you know.” 

Booker ends his small declaration with a shrug, indicating the outbreak that happened and changed mankind in a way that no one could ever anticipate. Joel nods, not able to truly judge the man in front of him. Joel understands regret, understands doing something out of such pure self-hatred that you don’t think about the people around you. He understands not thinking about the family around you. It’s exactly what Joel did to Tommy after Sarah died in his arms. He knows it’s what he will do if anything happens to Ellie. 

“Merrick?” Is the first thing that the other guy says instead. Instead of addressing the elephant in the room that is the betrayal and regret Booker has radiating off of him. “Why do I recognize that name?” 

Booker barks out a laugh, but quickly stops himself, not wanting to wake up the girls or draw any unwanted attention to them. “Yeah, you probably saw something on the news about some big Pharma guy jumping off his penthouse and killing himself. All of his security details that were found dead in his building. It was a huge thing that the authorities were never able to solve. Never had the time to solve.” 

“I’m guessing that was y’all?” 

He nods his head, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, Nile came in to break us out of there. We ended up killing everyone in our path. Nile shoved into Merrick, launching them out of a window before he could shoot Andy.” 

“Damn, that girl jumped out of a penthouse window?” Joel says, his impressed look evident on his face. 

“She sure did.” Confirms Booker, a small amount of pride for the girl leaking out into his voice. Nile being more impressive in combat than any of them ever thought she would be. 

“Nice,” agrees Joel. He looks back at Booker, another question evident at the way he is looking at him. “What about the last woman? The Asain woman that is in with some cult? She’s got some kids with her to…”

Booker lets out a sigh, he has been trying to ignore the less frequent dreams of Quynh. He truly did not want to think about what they meant. All of the moments were odd, some filled with an unusual amount of calmness and serenity, others with the woman standing over beaten and bloodied bodies. Her rage seeping over into Booker's mind, causing him to wake with her own anger coursing through his veins. 

“She uh, I’ve never met her. Her name is Quynh, she is older than Joe and Nicky but younger than Andy. They say that she was amazing in fits, an expert with a bow, she was a pit viper in a fight and no one could stand in her way. During the witch trials in England, her and Andy were trying to free the women that were accused. They ended up being caught and hung, when the church found out they wouldn’t die they tried killing them in multiple ways. Eventually they put Quynh in an iron casket, the Iron Maiden, and she was thrown into the ocean. My entire immortal life she was trapped and drowning. She was never endingly tortured. At some point in the past twenty years she washed up somewhere and was rescued by a cult. I don’t really know anything else past that point.” 

“Fuck…” Booker nods in agreement. He felt her pain his two-hundred years of living before she surfaced. He felt her anger and confusion when she finally was no longer dying over and over again with no reprieve. 

  
  
  


Their group has made steady progress the past few weeks, Booker isn’t completely sure on where they are but Ellie swears that they are only a few days out from Seattle. Which both brings excitement to Booker, but the excitement is quickly followed by dread. He has talked with Joel quite a few nights after that first night about the possible reactions from the others to seeing him again. Joel hasn’t promised anything to him, but he has offered some very miniscule offers of reassurances. Mostly along the lines that a lot has happened since the last time Booker has seen his family. He’s even done as much to say “ _ For fucks sake Book, a fucking apocoplyse has happened. They can forgive some dumbass shit you’ve done.”  _

How Joel can be so positive about the reactions from the others throws Booker for a loop. The other man that is usually matching Booker in pessimism trying to reassure him? Completely out of character in Booker’s opinion. Much appreciated but odd in terms of who Joel is. The French-man was even convinced by the prodding of the girls and with the agreement of Joel to tell the kids about why he isn’t with the others. 

Somehow, they took the information about his past relatively well. They weren’t pissed off at him or super confused about his motivations. Ellie even looked at him with a level of complete understanding, as if she has gone through the same thing. If Booker were to think on it, she may be able to reflect her immunity and her inability to do anything with Booker’s previous desire to make his immortality mean something. 

Booker still hasn’t been able to convince himself to tell Joel and Ellie about his previous connections to the Fireflies. They haven’t necessarily asked why Booker knows Joel and Ellie’s name or why Booker seems to know that Ellie is immune to having to have been told that big fact. Some selfish part of Booker never wants to talk about that, wanting to avoid conflict within this new group that he has grown to not only appreciate but also care for their opinions of him. He has the feeling that if he were to bring up that he used to run with the Fireflies that Joel will hate him. 

They still have to share Joel’s, the luck of finding a wild or abandoned horse with a saddle on it already so significantly low that Booker doesn’t even want to think of the chance that they will find one so he will no longer be cramped on the back of Callus II. He begrudgingly accepts that he’ll be stuck on the back of this man’s horse until they at least get to Seattle. He is glad however that Seattle is hopefully a few days out, if Ellie was to be believed. 

  
  
  


“So what’s the plan when we get to Seattle?” Dina’s voice whispering in Ellie's ear brings her back to her body. She was zoning out, thinking about the same thing that her girlfriend asked. She gives a little shrug, not really knowing what to actually say. Ellie has her own plan but she knows Joel has the reigns in this situation. She knows that they have to somehow meet up with Bookers group… meet up with the other immortals. 

Ever since the knowledge of Joel being immortal, about being undying, Ellie has been trying to fight off her intrusive thoughts about the fact that he will outlive her. He will outlive everyone he knows and loves and it won’t even be by his choice. She doesn’t want to think about how much that will destroy him, she knows how horrible it is to be immune and unable to share that. She can’t even fathom what it feels like to outlive and watch your loved ones die and grow old when you don’t. 

“It’s ultimately up to Joel, I know what I would do if he was the one that died, but this is his thing, it was his brother that was murdered. I’m here to help him and watch his six.” Ellie feels Dina lean her chin onto her shoulder, the smaller girls chin digging in just enough to make her shoulder ache just a bit. But Ellie could never shove Dina off of her, she could never say no to her girlfriend. “How have you been feeling babe?” 

The past week Dina has been more exhausted than usual, and even more concerning to Ellie and the two other men was the fact that Dina has been nauseous. Throwing up during different periods of the day, usually in the early morning but her stomach bug isn’t picky when it decides to make Dina ache in pain. 

“I’m okay, I'm still really tired but it’s probably just some bug that I picked up before we left Jackson.” Ellie doesn’t know enough about medical or illness, but she likes to think that she knows some. Ellie’s first thought is that if it was a stomach bug then Ellie would have picked it up as well, just from her proximity to Dina. She also thinks that stomach bugs only last a max of a few days. Even more concerning is that Joel seems to have a knowing look on his face, he has been sending sympathetic glances at both girls. The looks that he gives to Dina are a different type of sympathy than the ones he sends to Ellie. 

Even though Ellie is usually able to dissect Joel’s looks, glances, and glares, she can’t understand what his meaning is behind his looks. What’s worse is that Booker also has a similar look as Joel, just less sympathetic and more remorseful.

“That’s good… I'm glad you're feeling better.” She knows she has never been the best at communicating her feelings, but she also hopes that Dina knows that she is there for her. She hopes that Dina knows that she  _ loves  _ her, even if she hasn’t been able to get those words out. Ellie has loved Dina since she was seventeen and she has no idea on how to deal with that fact.

\------------

The group finally has started seeing signs on the sides of the roads they have been traveling saying Seattle in -- miles. Joe grimaces, knowing that the easy part of their journey is over with. The weeks of travel were hard on their bodies, but they didn’t truly encounter any huge hordes or volatile groups. There was that horde of infected in the building, and a few other similar happenings. Nothing truly difficult however. 

Joe knows that when they get into Seattle, somewhere that already had two to three factions building up at the start of the outbreak is going to be horrible. Along with the fact that Seattle was one of the starting points of the outbreak… he along with the others doesn’t really know what to expect from Seattle. Andy as always expects the worst, she expects there to be a full blown war waging. Nicky is hoping that everything will have calmed down in the city, not wanting to have to fight through any warring factions.

As of currently, Nicky has the important job of directing Melita to follow the other two with Joe sitting behind him. He rests his left hand comfortably on Nicolo's stomach, his thumb occasionally stroking the raggedy sweatshirt his moon wears. The late spring air causes a chill to travel down Joe’s spine. No matter how many years he has lived he has never grown used to any type of chill. He much prefers warmer weather, his love on the other hand  _ thrives  _ in the cold weather. Any time Nicky smiles when he sees snow, or looks content when the air grows colder reminds Joe that even his Nicolo can’t be perfect. 

“We’re coming up on Seattle, we’ve gotta be careful and keep an eye for anyone with ill intentions.” Nile is the first to break the silence they have been riding through that afternoon. Throughout even just this trip the girl has started to push Andy’s buttons more by falling into more of a leader position. Which is difficult when they have an over 6,000 year old woman on their team that has been the leader for almost that entire time. 

Joe looks over at Andy, her black horse riding steadily alongside him and Nicky, Andy’s eyes steel over and her jaw clenches up. She just nods her head in agreement, even though Andy has been reluctantly letting the girl ease into a small amount of responsibility it still irks her when someone else tells her to do something that she already knows to do. However Joe knows that Andy and Nicky have had many side conversations about this exact thing, and they both agreed (Joe also agrees even though he wasn’t in the conversation) that the younger woman needs more chances to spread her wings in where she fits in the group. 

Even though Joe knows it bothers Andy when he says it. He knows it even irks Nile as well, he still smirks and gives out a small, “Yes mini-boss!” He brings his hand up to his head, giving her a mini salute. Nicky turns his head to glare at him, his irritation evident in the cold look he gives his husband. 

Nile looks back at the three, her glare giving a similar look to Joe as Nicky’s did. Joe just tips his back in a full belly laugh, forgetting for a second the world that they live in. As soon as his belly-deep laugh escapes his mouth Nicky slaps his thigh telling him to quiet down. He tries to stifle his laugh a bit with his hand, but loud breaths of air keep coming out of him. He can see more than hear Nile trying her best to stay quiet as well. Andy looks like she wants to shoot both Joe and Nile just to shut them up. The woman has been becoming more irritated the closer they got to Seattle. 

Joe finally is able to stifle his laughter and tries to hide his face sheep fully in Nickys shoulder. “Sorry Habibi,” he murmurs into Nicky’s ear followed by a louder “Sorry Boss!” 

Andy doesn’t give a response to Joe, instead she narrows her eyes and tries to focus on the tree line. “Can y’all see that up there? I think I see a gate?” 

At the mention of a gate everyone goes immediately quiet, the anticipation that has been building about getting back into Seattle causing them to go into a shocked silence. They emerge out of the tree line to see trucks and tanks on the road and some are even in ditches. There are dead bodies wearing FEDRA armor. The group quickly concludes that the WLFs won against FEDRA, otherwise there wouldn’t be this many bodies lying unburied. 

Joe doesn’t know if he should be relieved or worried. He knows that FEDRA absolutely despised him and his family, but the WLF’s think that Andy should be dead and infected. They probably think the same for the rest of them. 

They work their way through the gate, not having too many issues with getting through. Nile however drew the short straw (and by drawing the short straw, it’s more of a ‘she's the youngest’ and ‘respect your elders’ kind of thing) and had to parkour around a bit to get up to the soldiers point to unlock the gate for their horses. She didn’t complain really, Joe could even see the beginnings of a smile on her face. 

_ Oh the innocence of being under one-hundred _ . Joe thinks to himself, a quip sitting at the edge of his tongue. He however decides against it knowing that Andy is a bit on edge and very well could kill him for a few short minutes of silence. It wouldn’t be the first time she has done that, wouldn’t even be the last. 

  
  
  


Getting through downtown Seattle wasn’t the hardest thing they have done in the past twenty odd years, it most definitely was not the  _ easiest _ , but it was horrible. They had a few issues involving patrols from both WLF’s and Seraphites. Luckily Andy and Nile were able to direct the group through without too much of a hassle. Helped even more that the two factions weren’t even on the lookout for intruders, it’s not as if they had made themselves known in any way. 

Nicky convinced Nile to stop in an abandoned theatre, citing the fact that the sun was already down and from the looks of it a storm was brewing in the sky. The two women relented and decided that was as good as any place to make a temporary base while they waited for Joel and his daughter to arrive, along with the other girl and Booker. The old theatre looks more decent than what Nile was expecting from an abandoned building in the ever rainy and destructive environment that has become Seattle. 

They quickly find out that there were previous squatters in the theatre, no doubt from a few years back based on the layers of dust and lack of any current evidence of life. The group quickly splits off into three separate groups, Nile heading up the stairs to explore more of the theatre, while Andy finds the small and most likely picked over liquor bar, and finally Joe and Nicky work together to secure the doors and other potential blind spots that the theatre hosts. 

Nile walks into a dark room after having to pick at the lock, the first thing she sees is a dried pool of blood dripping off of an old radio. She crouches down and observes the pool of blood, her eyes follow a small trail that leads to a note that was lying next to a pill bottle. The woman already knew that whatever was in the note would be depressing, nothing in this new world hosted good news. 

She hesitantly picks it up and drags her eyes across the note, trying to read through it as quickly as possible so she can move on without feeling guilty about potentially leaving someone's last words untouched and unheard. She sucks in a deep breath when she reads that the previous squatters were a couple, and the woman was pregnant. She found out that the woman tried to make a supply run to the nearby hospital to get medical supplies for the man who was shot in the stomach by an arrow. She gets to the end of the note and sees that the man decided that he would try to go and turn the power generator back on.

She sets the note back down and moves on, following the yellow cable until she has to climb up a ladder. Once up she smells the dead body before she even sees it, she can smell the decay rotting off of the deceased man no doubt. The man that was shot and unable to heal himself. She walks forward hesitantly, constantly on edge in case somehow there were infected or even other people up there with her. As she walks around the corner and finally finds the remains of the man she relaxes her grip on her gun. 

Nile’s eye darts from the skeleton to the generator, she sees that the man almost undoubtedly died from an electrical shock from the generator that was barely even protected from the constant downpour of rain instead of his previous injury of the arrow to his side. She feels remorse for this mysterious man and tries not to think about what happened to the woman in his note. Nile shakes her head, trying to rid her mind of such thoughts and she walks the few more feet towards the generator. 

She quickly and efficiently cranks the generator on, the old machine wiring to life after a few pulls. Nile smiles, knowing the others will appreciate the power (even if they pretend they don’t need it). 

Nile travels back down to the main room of the theatre where they first entered, the trek back much shorter with the lights on along with the fact that she knows where she is going. She first sees Andy lying on the couch, a bottle of something gently cradled in her hand. Her eyes then travel over to Nicky and Joe. 

Ever predictably Nicky somehow found some book or screenplay for him to read in the dim light from the emergency light alongside with the small fire that Joe has gotten started in an old trash can. The sight in front of the woman makes her laugh a little, the scene in front of her is too familiar to old movies she used to watch. 

Andy looks up at Nile with a smile on her lips, she raises the bottle as an invitation to the younger woman. An invitation that she gladly accepts and walks towards Andy, the relief that they may have a somewhat uneventful next few days if everything goes as hoped. 

  
  


\--------

It’s odd for Quynh to think of herself with the name, even though she knows that is her name. She knows it is correct and she feels deep in her bones a feeling of home every time she is referred to by the two kids by her name, the woman was just so used to being called Prophet for almost four years that she became used to it. The past few years after taking in her two charges has made Quynh feel so much more of herself. She remembers more and has been able to piece together the dreams of the dark woman and the white man. 

However recently, another man has joined her dreams. A much older appearing man, his face rough with scars and wrinkles, his hair a smattering of grey and black, a very salt-and-pepper look going on with him. The first dream about him made Quynh wake up panting and screaming, she lived out his death. She felt his first death and saw his child scream out for him, she felt her- _ his _ head get smashed in and destroyed. Everything else about his death was blurred, she couldn’t see the culprits of it and she couldn’t see any identifying feature to anyone around him. 

When she woke up screaming, the two children came running in almost a few minutes after she woke up. She still felt light-headed and faint, she felt as if she were about simultaneously puke and cry. Yara and the smaller kid scramble into her bed and curl around her, the tradition of them comforting her in her nightmares and of her comforting them in similar occasions ever present. They curl around her, Yara on her right side and the younger on her left. They both just lie there next to her, not saying anything or expecting her to say anything in return. 

Quynh looks down at the children and has such a light feeling in her chest that she starts to cry. She misses Andromache, she misses  _ Yusuf and Nicolo _ , she misses her family and lover. She just knows that Andromache would adore the children in her arms as much as she does. She knows that Yusuf would make them laugh while teaching them the ways of his art, she knows that Nicolo would give a soft smile at his love while making the children exquisite meals because the Italian in him sees the kids as too skinny. 

The woman wraps her arms around the two kids, her hands gripping each shoulder tightly. She brings her head down and lightly kisses the top of both of their heads. She whispers a small “Tôi mến bạn.” 

  
  


Her dreams of the new man have him moving west, she feels that he is drawing closure to her. She still has the dreams of the other man and woman, she sees that the other man has met up with the new one. She saw the other man killed multiple times by the new man and his daughter. She sees her love and family alongside with the girl moving up north, and similarly with the man she knows that they are coming towards her  _ finally _ . 

Her anticipation of the groups coming to her makes Quynh forget what the day is, she forgot that it was the day for her youngest to be assigned their role in their society. She feels nervous, she doesn’t want her child to be old enough to receive their scars, she doesn’t want her child to be sent off as a warrior or given off to some elder as a wife. Quynh  _ knows  _ that is not what her child deserves or  _ wants _ . But some being inside Quynh knows what's going to happen. 

The first part of her childs ceremony is them receiving their scars, her baby is going to have their face sliced in and she can’t do anything about it. She doesn’t know what she could do without endangering Yara and her baby. She was glad that she didn’t have to watch Yara receive her scars, but now she wishes she was there for the older girl. 

Quynh has to look away when her baby looks at her with pleading written in their wide eyes that are so similar to Quynh that if she didn’t know better she would say that the children were biologically her own. Tears stream down both of their faces for different reasons, her baby knowing that their mother can’t do anything to help, and Quynh knowing that she  _ could  _ help. She just doesn’t know  _ how _ . 

The recovery period after the ceremony has Quynh kneeling at her baby's bed, gripping their hand while wiping the sweat and damp hair out of their face. Yara and her take turns keeping watch on the youngest. Quynh has even riffled around in her memory for some soup that Nicolo has made for the other children that used to be in their life when they were sick, she made the disciples go and fetch her the ingredients because she couldn’t in good consciousness leave her home. 

She made the soup with many trials and errors, many times that Yara taste tested and made the cute little scrunched up face that she makes when she tastes something bad that reminds Quynh of some long forgotten memory. Even with the stress of her baby upstairs in pain and most likely fighting off infection, the sight of Yara being relaxed enough to make faces brings a very small smile to Quynh’s lips. 

Once satisfied that Nicolo wouldn’t kill her for messing up the recipe too much, she spoons the warm soup into a wooden bowl and carefully takes it up the stairs. Yara decides to stay in the kitchen and try to clean up, Quynh knows it’s because Yara hates to see her younger sibling in such pain, but she lets her go. 

Quynh pushes the door into their room open and almost drops the soup as she runs into the room when she sees that her baby is sitting up in bed, a dazed and agonized look on their young and marred face. She quickly sets the steaming bowl of soup down on the table by the bed. 

“Mama?” Is the first thing her baby says, it’s the first time either of the kids have called her as any type of ‘mother’. Tears spring up in Quynh’s eyes, she wipes them away quickly, turning her entire focus onto her child's healing process and letting them know that she is there. That she loves them and that they will be okay. 

Their small hand reaches out and stops Quynh from moving, their grip nowhere strong enough to truly keep the warrior from moving. “Mama, I don’t want to be a wife…” 

“I know,” Quynh gently caresses their face, being careful of the new marks on their face. “You are to young baby, you shouldn’t have to-” 

“No, I mean I never want to be a wife.” Quynh pauses, not sure on where they are taking this. She knows that she will always love these two children no matter what, the past years causing Quynh to lose her rage against humanity. “I don’t… I…” 

Her baby looks down and wrings their hands. A tell-tell sign of anxiety and nervousness in their body, their shoulders hunched up to their ears. Quynh quickly reassures her child that she will always be there for them, that she will always support them no matter what. When they ask her if she truly means anything she answers with no hesitation that of course she will. 

“I… I want you to call me Lev. I’m… I’m a boy.” Quynh looks at her  _ son _ with a small amount of confusion in her eyes, but the confusion is immediately replaced with acceptance and love.

“Of course Lev,” she looks at Lev with a questioning glance in her eyes. “Do you want me to tell Yara?” He quickly shakes his head ‘no’, the look on his face a very similar one to a look she has seen on him often, a look that she has seen on Yara just as often. A look of determination. 

“No, I need to tell Yara.” He finally looks her in the eyes. “I don’t know what to do if my place is choses by the elders to be a wife… I can’t, I  _ can’t-”  _ He starts to stutter, his breathing getting fast. 

  
“We won’t let that happen. If they decide that I will over rule them, surely they respect me enough to let that slide. And if not we will  _ leave.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this is a very long chapter, it's about 11 pages and I think it is almost 6,000 words… oops? I am also 100% projecting all of my motherly instincts (that i don't have because i am also a child (19 but still)) onto quynh for lev because i love him and yara so much that i want them to be happppy.  
> Anyways, bit of exposition with booker and joel, and yes for everyone that knows the thing with dina is still gonna be a thing so yay!  
> *Tôi mến bạn - ‘i love you’ in vietnamese, i got this translation from google translate so if it is incorrect please tell me.


	12. i'll be coming for your love, okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from take on me a-ha

Everything went to shit almost right when they arrived in Seattle. Getting through the large FEDRA gates was overwhelmingly complicated, with a series of having to connect different generators to different outlets, Ellie being the most agile one to jump around and get to the other side to then open the gates for the others and the horses. 

When they get through the first large gate they get stuck behind another FEDRA gate that Dina has very creatively dubbed the ‘ _ fuck FEDRA gate’ _ . Luckily Booker found a note talking about the potential of gas canisters in either the courthouse or the ‘dome’. The group agreed to split up, Dina and Ellie going to the courthouse while Joel and Booker go to the mysterious dome to search for gas. 

Ellie truly regrets agreeing to take the courthouse location, the surrounding locations that her and Dina scouted weren’t horrible, so she was hopeful (her first mistake) that meant the courthouse would be devoid of infected. She was wrong, she was very wrong. As soon as they dropped down the only way into the building through an old and rusted window they heard the sounds of infected scrambling around. The groans and moans of recently turned runners, the quiet clicking of clickers that were further within the building. If the infected weren’t sensitive to sound Ellie would have huffed out a loud and agitated ‘fuck’, she however can’t do that and in turn looks back at her girlfriend with regret clear in her eyes. 

Dina lets out an almost silent giggle at the face her girlfriend throws back at her. The two girls silently decide that they best way to get through the building is to stealth their way through all of the rooms, quickly killing each infected that littered in the rooms. They only had a little bit of a draw back when there was a clicker and runner standing in the hallway, not allowing the girls to sneak through without getting ambushed by either infected. Ellie quickly brings the clicker down with an arrow straight through their face, Dina beside her gives off a short series of two shots from her hand gun bringing the adjacent runner down. 

Once the hallway seems to be cleared of infected the couple moves on to explore any type of loot they may be able to find. The only things of importance in Ellie’s opinion that they found was a handy stealth guide and some ammo. Dina points out a map that shows the garage is a floor beneath them, the quickest way down being an old elevator shaft that the girls could safely jump down to the garage level. The splash into the shallow puddle alerts the  _ many _ infected that they were in the garage with them. Both girls bring their rifles out and prepare to shot down the many infected.

It was a relatively short ‘battle’, but even gunning down those few infected was a waste of their precious ammo that could have been used in a better situation. Ellie just has to shrug off the fact that she can’t go back and handle the situation in her preferred way (Molotov cocktail if stealth was no option) and move on further into the garage. 

“Over here!” Ellie turns around to find Dina, she sees her girlfriend standing over by an old fuel tank that hopefully is hosting some fuel. She rushes forward and pulls out the canister that she found in an old gas station to try and get some fuel. Thankfully when she pulls the lever to see if any comes out, it is successful. 

“Fuck yeah!” Ellies lets out a cheer of excitement, Dina joins her excited girlfriend in the cheering. The two girls after their small celebration quickly leave the garage through a door. Shimmer was waiting in front of the door like the good horse she is. 

“You know… Joel and Booker are probably still going through the Dome, and the two hour limit isn’t up…” Dina starts to suggest exactly what Ellie was going to say.

“So we should go explore a bit?” 

Dina gives Ellie an earth shattering smile that should open the ground below Ellie and swallow her whole. Both girls decide to walk alongside Shimmer to give the girl a break. “Left or right?” Asks Ellie, pointing in either direction, before Dina can voice her opinion Shimmer starts to walk left making the decision for the girls. The three walk for a few minutes, both Ellie and Dina looking at the buildings surrounding them for any type of building they could go into and explore. 

Ellie looks up at a sign that says  _ Valian- Music -hop,  _ a few of the letters having rusted or fallen off in the past two decades. The sign is still understandable that the building is a  _ music shop _ . Ellie gasps and physically drags Dina into the building. The girls explore the run down shop with equal looks of awe on their faces. Ellie’s awestruck face caused by the music shop and Dina’s own reaction caused by her observing her girlfriend. The younger girl looks so much happier and lighter than what Dina has seen in the past few months. 

They keep walking through the shop, throwing dumb little quips back and forth. Ellie trying to convince Dina that Dina is Ellies  _ groupie _ , Dina trying to convince Ellie that they should start a band and let Dina play the drums (even though that girl has absolutely no rhythm). Ellie separates from Dina for a few minutes until Dina hears a soft crash and gasps, the girl runs up the stairs that Ellie has disappeared up to. Concern coursing through Dina’s body, the worry for her girlfriend causes her heart to palpitate and her nausea starts to come back at the thought of anything happening to her. 

When Dina finds her girlfriend she finds her sitting on an old black box, an equally old guitar lying in her lap. Dina freezes in the doorway, watching her girlfriend meticulously tune the guitar. Her fingers dancing delicately over the frets, Dina’s eyes zero in on her fingers. She sees the litheness that Ellie embodies, she sees the contradictory softness of Ellie as she sits there. She sees the hands that Dina has witnessed cutting down infected with a violence that she has never seen except for in Joel before. She sees the hands that hold a bow with such confidence one would think she was born wielding it. She sees the hands and fingers that have touched her, that have caressed Dina in such soft and loving ways. 

Ellie starts to strum an unfamiliar tune to Dina’s ears, something that she has never heard her sing or play. As soon as she stops herself from playing Dina finally speaks up from the doorframe. “What was that?” 

“Nothin…” Was Ellie's quick response. 

“Hmm… Well, nothing sure sounds nice.” Dina starts walking toward Ellie. 

“Remember that night by the bonfire?” Ellie asks while looking up at Dina. She gives a small affirmation to Ellie before she starts to strum out a song. Dina sits down before Ellie even starts singing, she gazes up at the young woman with love dripping out of her own expression. 

“ _ We're talking away _

_ I don't know what _

_ I'm to say I'll say it anyway”  _

  
  


The girls ended up showing up late and disheveled looking to the  _ ‘fuck FEDRA gate’,  _ the two men standing there grumpy looking and empty-handed. They look at the two girls and come to two conclusions, they either had to deal with a shit load of infected… or they were busy doing  _ something else _ . Something that Joel truly does not want to even think about. 

Ellie walks in front of Shimmer, the horse housing Dina on her back, a red gasoline canister in her hand and wearing a huge prideful smile on her face. Joel lets out a small sigh, thankful that Ellie and Dina found some fuel along with the fact that they arrived back safe. The group quickly gets the second gate open with the limited amount of fuel they had, their two horses getting through the gate in just enough time before the gate slams shut behind them. 

“That was close.” Mutters Ellie, the other three don’t have anything else to add to that other than grunts in agreement. 

Joel looks up at the Serevena Hotel, the first lead they have gotten in the few months they have been on the road. He squints when he sees a similar glare in one of the upper windows, as soon as he spots the sniper's scope he rushes everyone into an alleyway. The three didn’t even say anything at the rushed movements from him, the only ones complaining being the horses who give out small breaths in annoyance. 

The three look at Joel confused, “Sniper. Top floor.” 

As soon as he says the three words Ellie’s eyes go wide. She slowly peers her head around to see if she can spot the sniper up top, as soon as she lets out a shuddering breath Joel knows that she saw it. Same as him. 

“So, Joel and I will go into the building through the front-” Before Booker can even finish his sentence Ellie spins around to look at the man that has traveled with them. Offended at what Booker has suggested. 

“If you even think for one second I’m going to let you two go in there without me I’m going to doubt that your brain healed correctly last time you died. I might even try to fix that for you if you say that again.” The power and clear threat behind Ellie’s voice makes Joel puff his chest out a little bit more, pride in sure of herself his daughter has become. That pride is quickly squashed when he realizes exactly what Ellie is arguing. 

“Don’t ya even start that shit Ell.” Ellie turns around from where she was glaring up at Booker to face Joel. Indignation written clearly on her face, her eyebrows furrowed and a scowl resting on her lips. 

She tilts her head at him and mocks him with a fake and over exaggerated Texan drawl, “ _ Don’t ya even start that shit _ ” she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. “No, you don’t start this shit Joel. We’ve gone over this, where you go I go. Capisce?” 

“What about Dina?” He questions, hoping to convince Ellie with his last resort for her to stay back. 

“What about her? It’s up to her if she wants to come with us or not. I'm confident she can defend herself out here.” 

_ Fuck _ , is the only Joel can think of. Dina truly being his only idea on how to convince this girl to stay outside and safe. He knows he can no longer boss her around like he did when they were first traveling, she barely even listened to him back then. Now that she’s older she isn’t going to even pretend that she’ll listen. 

“Fine.” He gives up and turns back around to peer up at the hotel, trying to think of the best way to get in without alarming the WLF that reside inside. He spots the sniper’s blindspot and plots their way on how to get there. A few minutes pass where he hears the soft mumbled conversation between Dina and Ellie, he can’t make out exactly what they are saying and he truly doesn’t care at this point. He just needs to push through. 

  
  


Getting into the hotel and taking down stragglers was easy, almost too easy if someone were to ask Joel his opinion. No matter the ease of breaking through the small defense of the maybe ten people team that was stationed in the hotel, Joel has tied up two offending men. He recognizes one of them from the mansion, if Joel’s memory serves him right this was the man that gave the killing blow to Tommy. This is the man that murdered his  _ baby brother  _ in nothing but cold blood when the only thing he did wrong was being with Joel. 

Joel is partly thankful that Dina decided to stay back with the horses so the girl won’t see what he is about to do to the men. The other part of him is extremely pissed off with the fact that Ellie decided to come with him. Joel knows what he has to do with the men, he is pretty sure that Booker has an idea of what Joel is going to do, but Joel doesn’t know what Ellie is thinking. He doesn’t know the best way for him to get Ellie out of the room they are in so she doesn’t have to witness the carnage that will follow. 

Ellie is pacing back and forth between the two unconscious men, her thoughts swirling around her head so loudly that Joel can hear her thought process. “Ellie…” She ignores him and continues pacing, wringing her hands together. A nervous habit that she has always had. “Ellie…” he says a little bit louder, hoping to get through the girl. 

“Ellie!” He finally shouts, stopping her from her pacing. He grips her shoulder and sees the young girl that a traveled with reflected back up at him. Her eyes hold the same confusion and innocence that he remembers. “Tell me what you’re thinking baby girl?”

“I don’t,” She reaches a hand up to tug at her hair, a less common tick that truly shows how anxious she has become. “I don’t know… what we’re gonna do with them.” 

Joel just shakes his head, “The only thing  _ you _ are going to be doing is standing watch outside the door while Booker and I take care of these two and get information we need.” Her eyes widen, finally realizing what it is that he is implying. She starts to shake her head to defend her presence in the room. 

Before she can come up with some defense Booker strides up to them from where he was standing. “Ellie, listen to him. You don’t want to be in here when we do this.” 

The fight leaves her body, she knows that she doesn’t want to be in the room when they do this. She knows exactly what it is that they are going to do and even though she knows what these men are capable of she can’t bring herself to be a willing witness to site. “I’m gonna go out to Dina. If y’all aren’t out in 10 minutes I’m coming back in to get you two.” 

“Be careful leaving, we aren’t 100% sure if the building is completely clear yet.” 

The girl just nods and solemnly walks out, her head hanging down. The dread seeping out of her body like spores. As soon as she leaves Joel turns around and faces Booker, Joel’s face having morphed as soon as Ellie wasn’t looking at him into a stone-cold stare. Even Booker in all his years of life has to take a step back to recollect himself from the emptiness and pure  _ violence _ hidden behind this man's eyes. 

Booker doesn’t even try to say anything, he just steps aside and allows Joel to continue on his path. Joel does just that. Unfortunately, for the two men, they start to groggily wake up with loud groans of pain. As soon as the first man is fully awake and aware of where he his, he stares at Joel. His entire face was going stark white. “Yo..you are suppos… you're supposed to be dead! I saw your brains on the floor!” 

Joel gives a small shrug, as if saying ‘that happens sometimes’, the man that recognizes Joel eyes widens even more. If that was possible. “Doesn’t matter what I am supposed to be. You should be worried about yourself and your little friend back there.” Joel stalks up to the man. When he mentions the other man he tries to crane his neck behind him to get a look at his ‘buddy’. Joel doesn’t give him the chance because he grabs his hair and yanks his head back to look at him. 

“Here’s what's going to happen, I’m gonna ask y’all some questions and if the answers don’t match up then… well, you aren’t gonna like what will happen if they don’t match.” As a warning on what is to come Joel grabs one of his shivs and stabs it into the man’s kneecap. Causing him to scream out in agonizing pain. The shiv having lodged itself right between the bones connecting his knee to his lower thigh. 

“Oh fuck me-!” He wails out. 

Joel yanks his shiv out of the man's leg, causing his blood flow to leak out of his leg. He looks down at him in disgust and walks over to the other man that has frantically been shaking his head, not wanting the same treatment as his ‘buddy’. “You heard what I told him, give me answers and if the match up you won’t get hurt.” 

The frightened man just shakes his head yes, Joel doesn’t bother with lodging the shiv into this man as an example. Joel can already know how fearful he is of him. Joel can smell the fact that this man has pissed himself out of fear. He can smell the acidic stench, and he knows that if he looks down at this man's crotch that he will see the tell-tale wet patch of his own urine. 

  
  


He had to walk out at some point during Joel’s interrogation of the men. No matter how much Booker has seen and gone through, what Joel is doing is a whole new level and Booker couldn’t stand being in there for another minute otherwise he thought he was going to puke. For some reason the one man that Joel stabbed kept giving different answers than what the piss-man wrote out, making Joel become increasingly angrier and even more volatile. 

Booker has been leaning against the door that will eventually lead to their exit for what feels like hours but what has most likely only been a few minutes tops when Joel walks out. His face is bloodstained and if Booker looks closely he can see the man's hands shaking, showing that even he isn’t invincible and that he was affected by what he had to do. 

Booker doesn’t have the energy to even ask Joel if he got the information that he desired, he just raises his eyebrow as sufficient of a question. Joel in turn also doesn’t break the silence between them and just nods and walks down the stairs and out the door. Booker follows after not even wanting to look in the room to observe the damage that Joel has done. 

They step out into the bright sunlight and Booker has to bring his hand up to his forehead to block the sun from fully blinding him. The two walk into the alleyway where they left Dina and the horses. They see the horses tied up just as they left them and Dina holding Ellie, softly rubbing her back and whispering things into her ears. 

Booker can see the younger woman shivering, most likely shaken by the sounds she heard as she was leaving the building. He looks back at Joel and sees the man trying to hold himself higher, trying to fight away his shame. “I know where the WLF’s are.” 

Joel finally says something to break the silence that has been steaming between them. Dina and Ellie both shiver a bit knowing how the man got that information. Booker shares a look with Joel, regret shining brightly in his eyes. 

“I have the code for the next FEDRA gate, so let’s get through that for now.” 

The two girls just nod and simultaneously get onto Shimmer. Instead of the normal situation where Ellie was in front and leading Shimmer, Dina gets in front and Ellie behind her. If Booker looks closely at how the girls are sitting he would see that Ellie is gripping Dina’s shirt in an iron clawed grip, her fingers turning white with how tightly she is holding the other woman. But he doesn’t. 

Joel slowly gets up onto Callus’ back and offers a hand down to Booker, a hand that he graciously accepts. Joel tugs him up and the group of four move onwards. When Joel approaches the gate he very quickly and efficiently gets down from his horse and puts in his newly acquired code for the east gate and the two horses trot forward. 

When Joel urges Callus to jump over a barbed wire fence is when shit hits the fan. The second Callus jumps the fence Booker gets thrown off of the horse and his ears start ringing. A bomb went off underneath them, throwing Callus down and his riders along with him. Neither Joel or Booker are able to keep an eye on Dina or Ellie, the two men can only hope that they were far enough behind them that they ran the other way. 

Booker can hear Joel groaning behind him, he tries to crane his neck around to look at the other immortal and he sees him stuck underneath Callus. Booker starts to force himself to stand up after his body has pushed out any fragments of the bomb that got embedded into his body. He gets as far as onto his knees before he sees someone walk towards him with an angry gait in their walk. The man walking up to him looks down at his body with a sneer on his face, that is all Booker see’s before he is knocked unconscious by a steel-toed kick. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again an entire chapter without the immortal gang, i always hate it when i have entire chapters without them, but this chapter would have been more dragged on than it should have been. There will be more of them next chapter, more of the main gang and more of quynh and her children. I will say, some of yall aren’t gonna like the direction i take this in when it comes with abby and how her story pans out with this fic. I honestly don’t like where i take this lmao. My writer brain loves it but my fannon brain cries 
> 
> also i thrive on comments, they make me so happy and encourage me to write more than anything.


	13. who do you call when you by yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry this is like three days late, ive been super busy with work and school yall
> 
> chapter title from let go beau young prince

The sound of an explosion and a series of screams, both human and inhuman screeches, causes Nile to almost drop the cans of food that she was shoving into her bag for her family. The sounds are uncomfortably close to her and where she has been scavenging are. Nile quickly shoves the last few cans into her bag and runs outside. 

She has her handgun resting comfortably in both of her hands, not held to attention but also not completely relaxed. She eyes up and down the broken road, pieces of cement obstructing her view. Even with the limited view Nile has of her surroundings, she can tell that wherever the explosions are that they aren’t within her eye range. She worries her lip, concerned on who the bombs are reacting to. It could be something between the WLF’s and the Seraphites, or it could be the WLF’s and her family. Even more worrying is that she has been dreaming of Joel and his group getting closer to Seattle, so there is a chance that it could be  _ them _ . 

Nile truly hopes that whatever triggered the bombs and screams isn’t the new immortal and his family, that it isn’t  _ Booker _ . Even if the two men won’t permanently die the two girls could, and Nile knows how badly that could turn out for everyone involved. She has an internal debate with herself, on if she should go towards the explosions and conflict to intervene if it’s Booker and Joel, or if she should go back to the theatre and convene with the group and get their opinion about what to do. 

Her desire to see Booker again outweighs the need to be completely honest with the rest of the group. Determination set on her face, she adjusts her backpack and makes sure her shotgun is loaded and ready on her shoulder before she starts to stalk towards the sounds, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. A few minutes pass with Nile anxiously walking towards undoubtedly chaos, hoping that she truly has a reason for heading in that direction. 

Nile quickly runs around a corner and gets knocked down by someone. They tackled her as if they were expecting her, they most likely heard her fast paced footsteps. The smaller body that knocked into her causes Nile to land on her back with a huff, she feels her attacker ram a knife into her abdomen. 

“Oh shit!” The body gets off of her and Nile sees the outline, the body's actual features drowned out by sunlight shining behind them. Nile squints trying to get her eyes to focus on who is in front of her, as soon as she realizes that it is one of the girls that was traveling with Booker and Joel she lets out a small gasp of surprise. Focusing further proves that it is the girl that was in the very first dream, this is Joel’s daughter. 

Nile moves to get up, she gets to sitting up before she feels the barrel of a gun pressed against the back of her head. “Don’t think about it.” The person behind the gun grits out, shoving the barrel further into Nile’s head. 

“Who are you? You don’t look like WLF?” Questions the woman in front of Nile, her body looking relaxed at the first glance, but when Nile looks deeper into her body language she sees that her hand is gripping a bloody switchblade -the switchblade that stabbed Nile, a wound that has already healed completely over- and the other hovering over a handgun. 

“I’m not WLF. Trust me.” Nile defends, slowly bringing her hands up in a placating gesture. “I’m with three others, I actually know Booker.” 

After Nile name drops Booker, the barrel on the back of her head drops, but the woman in front of Nile becomes even more rigid. She straightens up even more and seems to puff out her chest in a small way to try and intimidate Nile. She reminds Nile of a pet bird puffing up to protect their favorite toy. 

“And how do you know Booker?” A valid question said by the red-head. She reminds Nile of a younger and more innocent version of Andy. 

“I uh… I’m like him and your dad.” The girl doesn’t look surprised at what Nile has revealed, but more embarrassed as she seems to puff up even more at the mention of her dad. “My first death was a year before the outbreak, I was 27 then. Ever since Joel’s first death my family and I have been having dreams about him. That’s why I recognize you.” 

Something in the red-head causes her to deflate, something in Nile’s explanation having comforted her. The other girl behind her walks around her and up to the red-head, the other girl is significantly shorter but Nile can see that she is a hell of a fighter in just the way she holds herself. Both women are, they each have two conflicting but dangerous demeanors about themselves. 

“Ellie,” the dark haired girl lightly touches the red-head’s -Ellie- arm to direct her attention onto her “I say we trust her, there is almost no way for her to know those details. No matter how minimum they are. We don’t have time to focus on her, we need to be sure Joel and Booker are safe.” 

Ellie nods, Nile notes that the relationship between the two girls is something very powerful and almost reminds her of Joe and Nicky. The amount of connection and understanding between the two is oddly comparable to the millennia-long couple. Ellie turns around and starts walking in the direction the Nile was sprinting towards, she gives a quick gesture for both Nile and the other girl to follow. Nile scrambles up to her feet and readjusts her weapons and makes sure that they are secured and within reach if she needs them quickly. 

“Where are Booker and Joel?” Nile calls out to Ellie who has managed to get a few yards between in the time it took for Nile to get up and successfully double check her mini-Armory. Ellie and the other girl take turns in explaining what happened. They each rush through different details, Ellie focusing on what happened to her and the dark-haired girl -who Ellie references as  _ Dina _ \- while Dina explains what she saw happen to Joel and Booker before her and Ellie were able to run away safely. Nile follows along with the story, she finds out that it was the WLF that set up the trap mine for them. That the two horses they were all with were killed in the scuffle. 

The trio go silent when they hear barking and tires skidding on the broken roads. They each simultaneously threw themselves behind an adjacent wall that was to the left of them in case the WLF soldiers were coming their way. A truck drove by quickly, Nile and Ellie were both able to spot the unconscious bodies of both Joel and Booker. Nile risks peeking her head out further to see where the truck ends up going. 

The truck stops at a two story building not too far away from where the three women are hiding. A group of WLF soldiers go out to meet the ones that were in the truck. Nile sees them take Booker and Joel into the building, she winces a bit when she sees their treatment of the two unconscious men. Nile ducks back into their small hideout, a plan already formulating in her head. 

Nile and Ellie fight for taking charge on the plan for getting in, thankfully Dina knocks sense into Ellie by saying that Nile’s plan would be the easiest and fastest plan to enact. Nile hides a smirk, knowing that showing her smugness will only make Ellie’s demeanor worsen. The woman is already on edge because of Booker and her father being taken and their group getting ambushed. 

Nile nods and the women quickly and uniformly go up a set of emergency stairs beside the building that Booker and Joel are being held. They sprint across the roof, not seeing any WLF soldiers on the roof they are on, or the roof of the building they are residing in. Nile without hesitation jumps from the first building onto the WLF infested one, she turns around expecting the other two women to be right behind her, when they aren’t the reminder that the two other women are mortals. They probably don’t have much experience jumping rooftops, and they also have the valid concern of falling to their death. 

When Ellie spots Nile looking back up at them two she makes the rash decision to back up to get the running head start that is needed for jumping from a rooftop. Nile see’s the determination set in the red-heads face, her competitiveness outshining her own worry of her life. She runs towards the edge and leaps as soon as her foot reaches the edge, the running head start and her timing gets her across just fine. The drop from the first roof to the second one being a few feet meant she only needed to tuck into a roll to save her ankles from breaking. 

She stands up with a smug look, she throws a smirk at Nile as she turns around to Dina. Nile looks back up at Dina and see’s the shorter woman worrying her lip, one hand gripping her backpack while the other one hovers from her stomach to her shirt then back again. Nile marks the odd behavior as something to worry about at a later time when they aren’t on a rescue mission. 

“You’ll make it just fine babe! Get a running start and tuck and roll and soon as you leap off of it! I’ll be right here in case you need a hand.” Ellie raises her voice as loud as she dares without wanting to alert any of the WLF soldiers. She sees Dina nod and starts to back up a bit. She drops her hand from her bag, but lightly touches her abdomen again out of anxiety. She drops that hand as well and starts to run towards the edge of the roof as well. Her execution is a tad more sloppy than Ellie’s, but thankfully she makes it across just as well. 

As soon as she is across Ellie yanks her up and pulls her into her arms. For the split second that they can spare for Ellie and Dina to recollect themselves, she sees Dina melt into Ellie’s arms while Ellie whispers some soothing words into her neck. Their concern for each other while also knowing how strong they each are reminds Nile even more of Joe and Nicky’s relationship. 

“Good job, but we need to keep moving.” Nile finally decides that she has to break their moment, each second they waste the potential for this job to go south. The two girls split apart quickly, almost as if they forgot that Nile was there. 

Nile just turns back around and eyes the roof, she sees a number of glass ceilings. Probably five or six different panels. She gives a small hum of approval and nods her head, the glass ceilings proving to be a bout of good luck for the trio. “So, I say carefully peer into each glass panel to see if we can find Joel and Booker.” 

Ellie nods before she gives her input. “Wouldn’t it be faster if we split up to look into the?” 

“Yes and no, if we split up that would mean we could eliminate where they aren’t. But it would also mean if anything happened we would be on our own.” 

Ellie gives another nod, this one following a small huff of annoyance. She nonetheless follows Nile’s lead and the three women walk around the roof carefully peering into each section of glass. The first three come up empty, with either only WLF soldiers residing inside, or nobody at all. The fourth glass roof has Nile freezing because she see’s Booker again, for the first time in 25 long years she sees his face again. Now that she is closer she can see the exhaustion written in his face, the bags under his eyes dark and deep. His cheekbones somewhat sunken in from not having a consistent enough food source. 

A worried and warbly voice drags Nile away from looking at Booker, “Where’s Joel?” Her eyes squint at the realization that Joel isn’t in the same room as Booker. Nile gives a groan in her own head, knowing better than to truly release her frustration into the world. 

“He’s gotta be in another room.” Nile almost has to physically pry herself away from the glass roof leading to Book. “Let’s check the next few and if he is in one of those then we can split up and get them at the same time, overwhelm them while simultaneously surprising their forces.” 

They march on and continue the mission of looking down through the windows, luckily Ellie spots Joel in the very last room that they would be able to search with this method. Nile looks down and there he is, the man that has been in her dreams for the past month or so. He is awake and tugging at his bounds, a man is standing in front of him yelling something. Quickly the three women decide that Nile will go on her own and rescue Booker while Dina and Ellie retrieve Joel. 

With ‘good lucks’ thrown to each team, Nile turns around and sprints to the roof where she saw Booker. She skids to a stop and looks down, Booker also seems to be awake, He however seems much more calm and seems to be trying to talk down the soldier that is holding a gun to him. Booker sees Nile leaning over the roof and she can see the change in his demeanor now that he knows she is there. He sits up straight and his eyes become colder to the man in the room with him. 

Book gives her a small nod that she can break the window jump in, which just in time she hears the glass break behind her with the two girls and the loud smattering of gunshots. Nile cocks her handgun and shoots once at the glass, shattering it enough that she can comfortably jump through it. 

She throws herself down and grabs the man who held the gun to Booker. She quickly breaks his neck, using a technique that Andy taught her a few years back. 

Nile drops the limp body and swiftly kicks a shard of glass to Booker so he can cut himself free. Two more WLF soldiers come running in, both women, Nile quickly catches them by surprise by taking a few shots in her shoulder without a reaction. She grabs the first woman’s rifle and twists it around to then ram the butt of the weapon into her face, breaking her nose and knocking her out. 

She then turns around with the soldier's rifle still in her hands and turns it around again to load up a shot and efficiently shoot a shot through the woman’s heart. Killing her instantly. By the time she finishes with both women, she senses Booker coming up behind her. 

Without looking she hands him the bloodstained rifle, not knowing if he lost his weapons after being captured. He nods his thanks and then nods towards the door leading to more screams of pain, shouts of orders, cries for fallen comrades, and the unmistakable sound of rounds going off. 

The duo move forward, the hallway appearing empty by first glance. Booker see’s someone peeking out from around the wall and fires a round towards them. From the sound of a body hitting the ground Nile infers that it round struck true. They continue to run down the hallway, eliminating the few threats while following the additional sounds of the second group. Hoping to catch up in time before they get separated or worse. 

Nile throws a quick ‘thank you’ up to God, or whoever is listening, when for the second time in the past hour she runs straight into Ellie. Thankfully both women were alert enough to catch themselves from falling. She see’s Joel give Booker a nod and then his attention is brought down to her. His eyebrow quirks up, recognizing who she is. 

They however lack the time for any proper introductions and the group of now five turn down the hallway neither of them came from. They run out of the building into the blinding late afternoon sun. Not being able to catch a break, Nile gets another shot through her shoulder. Sending her forward a bit while also alerting the entire group that just because they are out of the building doesn’t mean they are safe. 

Ellie in front of the group yells out a “Over here!” While she runs towards an abandoned and broken down subway entrance. The group runs forward, Joel slams open the door while the rest of the four run in. Nile see’s a group of WLF coming their way before Joel slams the door shut, Ellie and Dina both push down a soda machine that was beside it to prevent the door being open from the outside. 

The group has a second to catch their breath before they have to move on. Joel turns around to Nile and finally fully acknowledges her and what that means. “So you must be Nile? This one has said some stuf’ ‘bout ya.” He refers to Booker, Booker who by the shoddy light source the flashlights give can not confirm nor deny the fact that he starts developing a blush. 

“All good things I hope?” Joel just grunts and nods, Nile very quickly learns that Joel is not a man of many words. 

Joel looks back at Ellie and Dina when they hear the sounds of retching. Dina is bent over, Ellie softly rubbing her back, dry heaving. Her stomach trying to vomit out food that she doesn’t have available. Nile’s original suspensions were confirmed by that motion, she however knows it isn’t her business so she turns back around to finally stop and look up at Booker. 

Booker gives her a small smile, the smile in itself not large. His look in his eyes gives away his true feelings. Booker is looking at her with awe and something that Nile would call  _ love  _ if it were someone else. She just smiles back up at him and jumps into his arms for a hug, something that she will later deny. He grips her tightly around her waist, his head buried in the nook between her neck and shoulders, breathing the sweaty stench of her. Nile debates on tangling her fingers into his dirty and messy hair and decides that it doesn’t matter and does anyway. Her fingers lightly start playing the short hairs on the nape of his neck, he breathes out a small laugh at the feeling of her fingers lightly brushing his neck. 

He mutters an almost silent phrase into her neck, something that he most likely didn’t expect her to hear or understand. “ _ Ma rivière.” _

Their reunion had to come to an end at some point, the sounds of yelling and flares being thrown and lights reveal that the WLF has found a way to follow them down into the subway system. Booker quickly sets her down, his arms seeming to drag themselves away from her waist. She gives him a quick pat on his side, something to reassure both him and herself. 

She comes back to where they actually are and sees the original group of Joel, Ellie, and Dina standing near a door leading into the full subway. They have masks on already, indicating that going in any deeper will have spores. If Nile squints a bit she can see the spores slightly leaking through the door. Both Booker and Nile dig into their bags simultaneously and pull out their gas masks. 

As soon as everyone is ready to go in, Joel pulls open the door and the sights and sounds of infected and WLF soldiers are overwhelming. The group moves in steadily, they have to drop down from a broken stairwell, going deeper into the subway. 

The red ominous glow of the subway immediately puts Nile’s instincts on edge. The entire group is silent, Booker crouching to the right of her, closer than he should be but she isn’t complaining. Joel is in front of the entire group, the muscles on his back pulled tight with tension. Ellie and Dina are behind her and Booker, even though Nile trusts them and understands that they can defend themselves, she can’t help but look at them and see them as children. 

Joel gestures for the group to split up, her and Booker going to the left to deal with the infected and WLF on the left side, while he and the two girls go right to do the same. Before any of the group advances, Ellie stops them all with a silent nudge. She grabs an old bottle that was lying around and throws it down the middle, alerting the soldiers, but also drawing the infected out as well. Nile raises her eyebrows, impressed by the move. She gives a small nod to Ellie, which all Ellie does is nod back in response. 

The two teams quickly go to the assigned side of the subway, her and Booker move seamlessly. Their bodies align back to muscle memory from a few missions they have run together in the past. They move swiftly and quietly to the side room, the action of WLF soldiers screaming while fighting off clickers and runners close to overwhelming Nile's senses. 

Booker was the first to get through the doorway and into the small room. He turns back to Nile and holds up one finger, then mouths a clicking sound without the actual sound coming out. Meaning one clicker.  _ Not bad _ , Nile thinks to herself. 

Booker carefully stalks around the clicker, preparing to jam a shiv into their neck without drawing any attention their way. Nile keeps an eye on the clicker while also keeping an eye that no other infected make their way into the room and attack Booker while he was unprepared. Nile see’s Booker jump up and use his body weight to drag the Clicker to the ground to further immobilize it while Booker jams a shiv into the juncture between the clickers fungal encrusted jaw and neck. 

The clicker had no chance to escape or make a sound of distress. Booker lies the immobile body of the deceased clicker down quietly. He looks back at her and she can’t help but feel her heart skip a beat, his hair is matted with blood and sticking in all different directions. She can’t help herself to thinking that he looks…  _ hot. _

“Nile?” 

Booker breaks her out of the internal crisis that she is bound to get back to as soon as she is safe enough to. She looks at him and gives a small shrug. “Let’s go.” 

Nile rushes to get ahead of Booker, not wanting to look at his back with these thoughts going through her head. She takes a deep breath and moves past the door, back into the red lit decrepit subway. She looks to her right and sees the three figures of Joel, Ellie, and Dina moving swiftly to the back to another abandoned train. She quickly starts heading in the same direction, the last few of the clickers that weren’t killed off by the WLF soldiers imposing as a very real threat in the moment. 

She sees the other three squeeze their way through an opening to the left of the train, Joel having an issue getting his body and bag all the way through. As soon as she reaches the opening she turns back to check that Booker was right behind her, she almost screams out for him when she sees that he is fighting off a clicker that has latched onto him. 

Nile runs towards him without a plan in mind. Her brain is trying to come up with some type of intellectual answer to getting him free of the clicker without drawing even more their way. She is shocked that he hasn’t alerted the few others near him with screams, he seems to either not be injured by the clicker or he is taking the pain with a grain of salt. Nile is hoping it isn’t the former. 

Nile runs up behind the clicker and yanks the machete that was attached to the back of her bag off and slams it down into its head. The machete goes about four inches deep into the clicker, causing it to release Booker with a small scream before it falls dead at her feet. 

She yanks the blood splattered machete from it’s head and grabs Bookers arm, her fingers tightening around his wrist more than it should. Nile starts dragging him with her to the small opening, hoping to outrun the clicks that she hears coming their way. The small scream having alerted the last few infected of their location. 

She all but shoves Booker through the opening and quickly follows after him. She gets through the small gap and see’s Ellie standing next to an opening leading into another section of the subway. 

“Hurry up!” She calls out to the two immortals. Neither Nile or Booker can catch their breath before they hear the scraping of nails behind them, meaning that the infected are trying to get to them. Booker bumps his shoulder into Nile’s before he briskly walks forward, Nile forces her exhausted legs to move forward more, knowing that they aren’t done yet. 

She steps into the room and sees a ladder leading upwards along with a long piece of rope dangling beside it leading to a small platform, she doesn’t see Joel or Dina so she assumes they have already climbed and are waiting for them up above. Ellie goes up first, she must have drawn the short straw to wait on them. 

Ellie gets relatively high up on the ladder before she launches herself outwards and catches onto the rope and starts swinging it in the direction of the small platform. A small ‘O’ forms on Nile’s face, revealing where Dina and Joel are and why there was such an oddly placed rope. Ellie throws herself off of the rope and lands smoothly onto the platform, barely having to catch her balance before she moves into the shadows. 

Booker goes up to the ladder but doesn’t start climbing, he looks back at Nile and for a split second Nile swears she sees a look of admiration and  _ love  _ in his eyes. The look shocks her because this is the second time she has seen this look directed at her from him in the time that they have reunited. Like many thoughts she has had since she met up with Booker, she shoves them back to think on later. 

He quickly scales up the ladder, his long body capable of skipping rungs. He gets to the rope and does the same as Ellie. He catches the rope and Nile can finally see the damage that the clicker has done to him in the small amount of light shining on the rope. She see’s the side of his black shirt torn and stained with his blood. The smooth and pale skin underneath unmarred, the wound having healed over by now. 

Her hand starts to unconsciously worry the sleeve of the leather jacket that she wears at all times. Of  _ his _ leather jacket. She drops her hand when she realizes what she was doing and she feels heat bloom across her face and up to her ears. She really hopes that Booker hasn’t noticed the jacket, and that he doesn’t recognize it as well. Nile thinks that he hasn’t since he has failed to mention it just yet. 

She hears the soft ‘thud’ of Bookers boots hitting the concrete platform that indicates it's her turn to get over. She climbs up the ladder and gets to the appropriate height before she throws herself into the rope. 

Her hands grip the rope as if her life depends on it, the small and frayed bits of the digging harshly into her hands. She can already feel the rope burn develop, and as soon as it develops she feels it heal itself just as quickly. She looks up at the platform as she swings and sees that Booker has disappeared into the shadows like Ellie had, but he is instead leaning against the fence wall waiting for her. 

Nile throws herself off of the rope and lands with as much grace as she could onto the platform, her feet barely stumbling on her landing. Booker quickly reacts and grabs her arm to prevent her from falling. She flashes him a quick smile that he may not even see from underneath the mask, but shakes off his arm and looks towards the vent that the others have undoubtedly disappeared through. He gives her a nod in confirmation and gestures for her to go in first. 

  
  
  


Ellie truly was not having a great day. Getting through the first part of the subway and through the vents was child's play compared to everything else they’ve had to deal with. Over four shamblers (something that she didn’t even know excited until she saw the soldiers try to fight it off and fail), a few bloaters and way too many clickers and runners. 

She is exhausted and with no end in sight, if Ellie was any weaker she would just drop and allow the infected to end her life. Her calves and thighs burn, they burn so much hotter than anything she has ever felt, her lungs are desperately trying to draw in more air but it seems she just  _ can’t _ . Everything in her feels like she was doused in lighter fluid and set aflame like one of her Molotov's. 

Her feet are hitting the concrete floor, the thin sole of her canvas shoes providing no barrier between her and the harshness of the floor. The loud groans, moans, shouts, clicks, and a symphony of other sounds reverberate behind her, pushing her further and faster. The hoard gaining ground on the small group of five. 

She has been trying to keep an eye out for Dina, but has lost track of her. The only reason why Ellie hasn’t stopped to check if she was behind her was that she heard the familiar panting and occasional exclaim of curses coming from Dina's mouth. The group turns a corner and finally sees a glimmer of hope, an iron door that was already open. Ellie see’s Nile go through it first, tugging Booker in. Joel sprints in right in front of her and pats her back when she gets through, Dina right on her heels. 

Right when Dina crosses the door, it is slammed shut behind them and Booker and Nile start shoving cabinets and other heaving objects in front hoping that will keep the infected back. 

“Everybody okay?” Nile calls out. 

Joel grunts, Booker gives the odd response of ‘ _ Oui’,  _ Dina just responds with a yes and Ellie follows the same example as Joel with a similar grunt in confirmation.

A crash sounds to the left of the group, they all quickly turn around and check that the door is still safely barricaded. When they see that nothing has fallen from the barricade a shiver runs down Ellie’s spine. Alerting her to danger. 

She spins around just in time to see a stalker grab Dina from behind. 

Without time to think Ellie throws herself forward and yanks Dina into her body, she shoves her arm around Dina’s neck. Blocking the mouth of the infected from biting into Dina’s neck. 

Ellie grabs the pistol that was resting in Dina’s thigh holster and brings it up and quickly blows the brains out of the infected. Gunning down the threat. 

As soon as the infected falls dead Ellie pulls Dina in closer to her body, the fear of losing her overcoming her body. Her left hand cradles the back of her head while her right arm, the one that she shoved between the infected and Dina’s neck, finds it's way to Dina’s hand. 

Their fingers intertwine for a few short seconds before Dina gasps and pulls back. The feeling of warm blood on her causing her to step back. Dina pulls Ellie’s right arm up to her face and drops it almost as soon as she brings it up to her eyeline. 

Dina backed up until she was a few feet away from Ellie. Her entire body shaking, her face pale and looking as if she may puke. 

“No…” Ellie stops, confused by Dina's reaction. She looks down at her arm and sees in shock what scared Dina. A bite mark mares her skin, the blood slowly oozing it’s way out of her body. 

“Oh fuck.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a phat ass chapter, almost 6k words and just about 11 pages in my word doc. Speaking of words and my doc, i am past 45k as i am currently writing this and almost at 100 pages. I am so absolutely flabbergasted at the response ive been getting at at how much ive been able.  
> One thing timeline wise, is that I accidentally skipped an entire scene but when i realised i skipped it i was already to deep in the group being already in the subway system so i said fuck it and just kept going.  
> As well, if you can not already tell, this will be a book of nile fic as well. It wont be the main focus of the fic dw. But it will be there, i just love their dynamic so much. Ellie got bit! Yay! It’s different than how dina found out ellie was immune in the game but i had this idea and i thought it was cool.


	14. i am still right here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from hurt johnny cash

_ Fuck _

_ Fuck _

_ Fuck _

Ellie immediately starts to put pressure on the wound, not wanting it to bleed out. She looks up at Joel, her eyes screaming her thoughts. Just a constant train of never ending ‘ _ fuckfuckfuckfuck’ _ , this isn’t how Ellie wanted Dina to find out. She didn’t even want Dina to find out, she wanted to stay as normal as she can. She never wanted Din to  _ know _ . 

Joel reacts the fastest, having dreaded this moment ever since Ellie took up patrols in Jackson. He walks up to her and inspects her wound, he mumbles a few things under his breath. Too quiet for Ellie to catch in her panicked mindset. He pulls out a bottle of alcohol he was saving to create a Molotov when he had the supplies, but Ellie is much more important than any weapon. 

He pours the first half of the liquor directly over her wound, she hisses out in pain but otherwise stays still. Her thoughts still run thousands of miles a minute, her mouth opening and closing not able to comprehend what to say to the group. He says something to her about it needing stitches, but it goes through one ear and out the other. 

Joel rips off part of his flannel and wraps her arm tightly, trying to stop the blood flow. He finishes up the temporary job just in time because they can hear the sounds of the infected slowly breaking through their barrier. 

Joel drops her arm and turns to the stunned group and breaks the tense silence that has been plaguing the group. “We don’t have time to deal with this shit, just run!” 

Ellie notes that Joel stands and waits for her as the other three start heading in the original direction they were running until the stalker grabbed Dina. 

“Ellie, we need to go.” Joel holds her shoulder firmly in his hand, he lowers his voice as if talking to a wounded animal. “They won’t do anything drastic. I won’t let them. We’ll explain everything as soon as we are safe, but we aren’t safe right now.” 

She just numbly nods and follows him, her body just going through the movements it has always known. Running from infected. 

  
  
  


The journey out of the subway was a blur for Ellie, Dina refused to look at her and Joel was constantly hovering over her shoulder. Something that would usually set her off and cause her to blow up at Joel, the shock of what happened causing her to dissociate from her body. Something that hasn’t happened since Riley… 

She feels herself get tugged into some old theatre, out from the cold and dark rain. She didn’t even realize that it was raining. She doesn’t know when they got out of the dark and decrepit subways systems. The only thing she can really feel is the soaked feeling in her toes, her shoes letting in water all too easily. 

Her eyes dart from a shocked group of three, she is unable to focus enough on them to see any distinguishable features in them. Ellie can see that Joel, Nile and Booker are arguing with the group. Joel being the most fed up, his shouts of frustration the only thing making it through her muted hearing. Every so often Ellie tries to drag her eyes across the room to find Dina, and every time she finds her looking away from her. Curled up in herself. Her arms curling around herself, Ellie looks at her and just wishes to cradle her in her arms. 

Finally the strange group of three agree to leave, they walk through a door leading further into the theatre with grumbles on their lips. One of the men seems to be seething in reaction to something. 

A dark shadow looms over her, nothing sets Ellie off so her body has no reason to react as if there is a threat. She feels more than sees the dark shadow crouch down to her level, it pulls her into their chest and holds her tight. 

“It’s going to be okay baby girl.” Joel, the shadow is Joel. His words bring a sense of calm to her raging emotions at the moment. 

“I’m sorry-” She mumbles, she didn’t mean to react in the way she did. She just couldn’t let Dina get bit, couldn’t let her die because of that. 

“No, no” he brushes her hair back, “You have nothing to be sorry about. You saved her life. If she can deal with all the weird shit with Booker and I, she can deal with your weird shit. Yeah?” 

Ellie nods her head, understanding where he is coming from but her anxiety about her immunity not completely subsided. 

The sounds of hard and heavy set boots marching their way towards Ellie and Joel causes her to look up. She sees Nile striding her way towards the. “Wanna tell me why she isn’t turning?” 

“She’s immune.” Straight to the point. Not taking any detours apparently. Ellie can hear the shocked gasp from Nile standing in front of her, and the gasp coming from her girlfriend sitting many feet away from her. “She’s been bit before and never turned, she’s breathed in spores as if it’s normal air.” 

Ellie finally stands up, and shoves her way forwards to Dina. She shoulder cheeks Nile out of her way and doesn’t spare a glance back at the immortals arguing. She gets to the couch that Dina was sitting curled up on and falls to her knees in front of her. 

“Dee-” Ellie brings her hand up to the sweaty hair stuck to Dina’s forehead. Her hand hovers over for a second before she sweeps it back. “Dee please look at me.” 

Dina can’t bring herself to look Ellie in the eyes, but her hand grasps onto Ellie’s other arm. The arm that took the bite for  _ her.  _ She tenderly holds the arm in her hand and slowly unwraps the cloth that Joel used to temporarily bandage the wound. The fabric reluctantly unwinds, each piece sticking together because of the dried blood that oozed out of her wound. 

Ellie tries to school her face and not whine at the tug of the bandages, she mostly succeeds. Dina slowly completely unravels the cloth to reveal the scabbed over bite mark, the healing process having already started without looking infected. Dina gazes down at the bite with a shocked look on her face. 

Ellie nervously laughs a bit, “Don’t worry, I can’t infect you.” Ellie scratches at the back of her neck with her blunt nails. Dina chokes out a laugh, her laugh sounding like an odd halfway point of a laugh and a sob. 

“I wasn’t worried about that,” Dina hesitantly reaches out and ghosts her fingers over the sensitive bite. “I guess you were telling me the truth that one night about your tattoo.” 

“You can’t say I lied to you about that now.” Ellie sucks in a breath. “Remember a few weeks ago when Booker originally joined us and my fight with Joel?” 

Dina gives a small hum as a confirmation that she is listening. She safely drops Ellies arms and pulls her bag closer to her, she unzips her bag and digs through it trying to find something buried inside. “The fight was about when we were traveling before we settled down in Jackson. He uh-” Ellie pauses as Dina grbas her arm again and lays it across her lap. Ellie side eyes the needle and thread that Dina holds delicately in her other hand. “Marlene, a woman that was my guardian for a whole after my mother died, was also in charge of the fireflies. I went to her after I was first biten and didn’t turn. After a while we came to the strange conclusion that I am immune.”

Dina nods her head as she douses the needle in alcohol to disinfect it. She threads the needle and starts to slowly and carefully stitch up the deep gashes from her bite. “She hired Joel to get me safely to the fireflies to try and make a cure. It took a long ass time for us to find the fireflies actually alive. Long story short, the doctor had to kill me to try and find a cure and Joel didn’t let that happen. Even though it was my choice.” 

Thankfully Dina was done stitching up her bite because she jerks in reaction to Ellie dropping the bomb. “You… wanted to die?” 

“Yeah, I wanted my immunity to mean something. I still do.” Dina’s hands grip Ellie's right hand, causing a whine to draw out of the girl. The pressure on her hand put more pressure on her injury. Dina doesn’t release her hand even though the girl is causing her more pain. Ellie doesn’t try to shrug her off or remove her hand. 

“No. If a cure is at the cost of your life I don’t want it.” The smaller girl leans forward and rests her forehead against Ellie’s. Ellie breathes out a sigh of relief that Dina is still with her. She opens her mouth to refute her point that her life isn’t worth humanities. 

“You were  _ WHAT?”  _ Joel roared in a voice that Ellie hasn’t heard from him. Ellie jumps up from where she was kneeling in front of Dina and turns to look at her father. She turns just in time to see him throw a vicious punch at Booker that sends him down to the ground, blood leaking out of his nose for a few seconds before it heals back in place. 

“Listen Joel, I was with them because I wanted to see if my immortality could help with a cure. I did nothing to your girl and I won’t endanger her.” Booker holds his hands up in defense as he stands up. He gives a look to the side at Nile, telling her something that Ellie is unable to decipher just from the look. 

_ A firefly. He’s a firefly… I wonder if he knows where they are? _

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Joel grips Booker’s shirt and pulls him close to him. Ellie looks over at Nile who has a surprised look resting on her face, her internal debate on how to react to the debacle in front of her. Ellie looks over at Dina who hosts a very similar look to Nile before Ellie decides that she should do  _ something  _ to prevent Booker’s tenth death on their hands, no reason to piss off a group of immortals unless needed. 

“Well, for one, I didn’t want this to happen.” 

Ellie puts a hand on Joel's arm to try to calm him down, she feels the muscles ripple through his arm. As if debating on standing down or not. It seems that he decides to draw back a bit, because Joel all but drops Booker on his ass, the man was lucky enough that he caught himself before he fell. 

“Joel, if he wanted to do anything he woulda already done it.” Joel looks down at her, as if shocked that she is up and moving around. His eyes go from her face down to the arm that is touching him. He sees the bite mark sewed up by Dina’s handiwork and gives a raised eyebrow as if saying ‘ _ Y’all talked?’  _ Ellie gives him a similar look that answers his question with an exasperated ‘ _ What do you fucking think?’  _

The older man huffs out a sigh, as if disappointed that he doesn’t get to pummel the other man. He gives Booker one last glare before he truly steps back and no longer looks as intimidating as before. The group that was originally residing in the theatre slowly walk into the front room, Ellie finally able to get a good look at them and truly establish what they look like. 

The first one to walk through the door was a woman, she held herself with such power and confidence that it reminded Ellie somewhat of Maria… but scarier. The second and the third were two men, the taller man was dark skinned with curly shoulder length dark hair. The shorter of the two was white, he has short and choppy brown hair. Ellie could tell that out of the three the woman was the most dangerous, she had a barely suppressed violent aura within her.

Ellie notes that as the group head back in, Booker seems to step back behind Nile and Joel, scared of the reaction this group will have to seeing him again without the hassle of her own bullshit. Booker explained a week ago what happened with him and his group and the possibility of it getting violent between them, Ellie however thought it would be fine based on Nile’s reunion with him. But looking at the glare that the blond man sends his way alongside with the betrayed look in the others eyes shows that Nile may have been a special case. 

“Now that you five have solved whatever.” The shorter man steps forward and speaks with a heavy accent, he seems to look down at Booker even though Booker himself was taller than him. “Want to tell me why we are seeing you seventy-five years early? Sebastian?” 

Ellie looks back at Booker and sees the taller man draw into himself even more. “I’m sorry Nicky…” 

The darker haired man lays a hand on Nicky’s chest and whispers something into his ear, calming him down somewhat. “Sorry doesn’t cover what you did to us… but we have other things we need to worry about right now.” 

Nicky ends his sentence with a small smile and a tilt to his head. He steps back and that seems to release the floodgates. Ellie feels the rush of wind of Booker almost sprinting towards the other three, he approaches the one woman and embraces her in such a large hug that Ellie would be overwhelmed if she were on the receiving end. The woman has a small amount of tears falling down her face alongside remorseful tears, Ellie can see Booker's shoulders shaking as if he is sobbing. 

Ellie looks back at Dina in confusion and she just shrugs, having equally no idea what is going on. She looks back at the group and sees Nile talking to the two men, she keeps gesturing to Booker, Joel, Dina and herself. Explaining something about their meeting and how they are all connected. The two men look between her and Joel with pity in their eyes. 

  
  


\---

  
  


“Lev, you and Yara need to leave. Now!” Quynh grips the shoulders of her son, him having made the impulsive decision to shave his head after it was revealed that he was to become a wife to an elder. He looks at her, his lip quivering and tears starting to leak out of the corner of his almond shaped eyes. 

“No, we can't leave you behind!” He cries back. 

Quynh smiles down at him, this young boy has grown up so much in the past four years that she has known him, both him and Yara. She wishes she could do more for him, wishes that she could convince the Seraphites that nothing is wrong with him, that he is a child learning his way in life. “You have to baby. You know I will still be here, they can’t kill me.” She wipes away a tear and gives him a light kiss on the top of his head, hair no longer covering the skin on top of his skull.

Yara rushes into the room they were hiding in, panting but holding Lev’s bow and her own weapons in her hands. The bow that Quynh herself handmade for him, the bow that she taught him to use. 

“They’re coming Mama!” She pushes out, sucking in air after each word. Quynh looks back down at Lev and leans down to murmur one last phrase of advice to him. 

“You are my son, no matter what they say.” Quynh looks up at Yara, her daughter that helped her relearn who she was. They share a look and Quynh steps forward and shoves Yara behind her, hoping the girl understands that she needs to drag Lev away. The boy won’t leave without her, but Yara understands that they have to. 

She hears the sound of the back door slamming shut and the whines of Lev not wanting to abandon her. She cracks a wicked smile, knowing that she may be outnumbered and without a weapon, but she will take down as many of these ‘disciples’ as she can before they overwhelm her. The buried rage that has only comes out in small bits scratching at her restraint to be released. 

The first of many enter the small room that she has secluded herself in. “Why have you betrayed us Prophet?” They beg, but Quynh has no care about their whims and wonderings. 

“I was never your Prophet. I was a confused woman, who didn’t know who she was.” Quynh’s face morphs into an almost sinister look that makes the few more Seraphites that have entered the room take a step back in fear. “No… no… my name is Quynh and I am much worse than your so-called ‘Prophet’. I have stood back when I came to the realization of who I was because of my children. But now you deem my child a crime and I shall not stand for that.” 

The Seraphite in front of her seems to have a new fire sparked in their eyes by the words Quynh has spoken, for she steps forward and wields her hammer with a newly determined look. “Then you are in our way of the Apostates. Where are Yara and Lily?” 

Quynh spits in her face. The shock on the Seraphites face is quickly diminished when Quynh shoots into action. Quick as a snake and just as deadly. 

She gets a knee jab into the Seraphites stomach and a throat punch before everyone around her jumps into action. The Seraphite that she hit bends over and grunts in pain, Quynh quickly takes the blade that was tucked into the other woman's clothing and stabs it into her neck, killing the woman with her own weapon. 

Quynh feels the sharp pain of a bullet wound go through her shoulder and thigh, but her ancient body heals the injury over just as quickly as the wound happened. She turns her head and glares at the offending man with the gun, his hands shaking in fear of what hell he has brought down unto himself. 

She goes for the man's gun, but not before he fearfully fires another round into her stomach. The force of the impact causes her steps to falter, but not enough to deter her fast enough. 

The gun is yanked out of the man's arms and she twists around and chokes him with his own weapon. She squeezes the trigger at the same time hoping to get a few casualties in at the same time. The sound of a body falling and two groans of pain tells her that she was somewhat successful in that plot. 

When the man in her arms goes limp she eyes the two in front of her that groaned in pain and sees one sporting a bleeding hole in their arm, and the other with an unfortunate small kick on the cheek. Quynh swings the gun acting as a bludgeon weapon and knocks out the Seraphite that was only grazed as she simultaneously sweeps out the legs of the one that was shot in the arm. 

She drops the gun, and then suddenly she feels a sharp and skull-denting hit on the back of her head and everything goes to black. She can only hope the few seconds of consciousness she has before her body hits the ground that she gave Yara and Lev enough of a head start to get off of the island. 

\---

After introductions were made, and very awkward stories were exchanged, Ellie and Dina decided to find their own secluded section of the theatre to stay the night in. Ellie wasn’t sure on exactly where Joel was, but she could assume he was learning a bit more about his  _ predicament _ at the moment with the others that they met. The intimidating woman -Andy- the dark curly haired man -Joe- and the white man -Nicky- were all introduced to them as even older immortals, something that absolutely bogles Ellie’s mind. 

Ellie is carefully removing her bag and other assortments of weapons and a series of uncomfortable objects that litter her body for protection while they are traveling. As she gets down to just her undershirt and pants she feels the soft hand of her girlfriend lightly caress her back underneath the dirty and ratty shirt. 

“Babe…” Dina wraps the arm caressing her back around her waist and gives a few kisses on the back of Ellie's neck, causing her to let out a small moan. “We need to talk.” 

The seriousness in her voice causes Ellie to turn around and looks her girlfriend in the eye, confused. Does she want to talk more about her immunity? Dina gives Ellie a small smile that hides a grimace and lightly pulls her to the chaise that Dina has set up for them to sleep on. She gently sets Ellie down and steps in between her legs, resting her hands on Ellie’s shoulders. Dina brushes the piece of auburn hair on the side of Ellie’s face that can never stay put back behind her ear. 

“You have to promise to not get mad.” Dina said softly under her breath, the air coming out as hot and blowing lightly down Ellie’s nose. Ellie turns her head in confusion, but gives Dina a reassuring grip on her hips before she voices the thought. “I think I’m pregnant.” 

Dina drops the bomb on Ellie, something that she has been in the very back of Ellie’s head whispering concerns into her consciousness. Ellie’s jaw drops in shock, her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. “Don’t worry, it’s not yours.” Dina jokes with a grimace on her face, the look betraying her actual feelings. 

“I-” Ellie’s hands start anxiously tapping on the sides of Dina’s abdomen, before she even realizes what she’s doing she pushes Dina’s shirt up to her bra line and places a soft kiss on the top of her abdomen where a bump will start to show at some point. Ellie rests her head on her stomach and chokes out the rest of her sentence. “How long?” 

Dina cradles Ellie’s head that nestles itself on her stomach. “A few weeks ago when I first started being sick. I realized I missed my period and that alongside nausea you can see why I drew that conclusion.” 

The auburn haired girl brings her head up from her girlfriend's stomach, lingering with one more kiss. “What now?” 

Dina holds the left side of Ellie’s face, her thumb caressing her cheek. She looks into her eyes and sees a similar look of confusion and anxiety reflected back up at her. She bites her lip before she responds. “I- I don’t know babe. I’m not going back to Jackson without you, and I know you won’t go back to Jackson without finishing what you and Joel have set out to do.” 

Ellie solemnly nods her head, knowing her girlfriend is unfortunately correct. “And I’ve been getting sicker, I don’t want to hold you guys back.” 

Ellie touches Dina’s hand that cradles the side of her own face, she works her arm up Dina and stands up on wobbly legs. Ellie pulls Dina into a tight hug, burning her nose into the other woman's sweaty and sticky hair. “You aren’t a burden.” 

The smaller woman starts shaking in her embrace, the fear of becoming a burden falling off of her shoulders. Her fears were addressed and smoothed over simultaneously. “I think it’s better for you to stay in the theatre, you’ll be safe here.” 

“But I want to help you and Joel, the new people as well.” 

“I know, but you’ll be more help if I know you are safe.” She kisses Dina’s nose. “Do you want to at least tell Joel, I can tell him if you want me to.” 

“Will you?” 

Ellie nods with a smile on her face and places a sloppy kiss on Dina’s head. “Of course, I love you babe.” 

She stands up to go find her dad but Dina quickly stops her by grabbing her arm. Ellie freezes at a weird angle, her legs bent and her back bowed. 

“Tell him tomorrow, stay with me babe?” 

Ellie falls down onto the chair unreluctantly, allowing her smaller girlfriend to pull her to lie down next to her. As soon as she kicks her canvas shoes off and gets comfortable Dina curls into her and clings onto her dirty undershirt. Ellies arms go around her on instinct, the pain in her recently bitten arm causing her some discomfort but mild discomfort is bearable as long as Dina is in her arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot happened in this chapter. Ellie talked about her immunity, the whole gang's together, there were many tears, lev shaved his head, there is MUCH plot set in action. Like… honestly the plot of all of this is going to explode the next few chapters. 
> 
> i also want to say that the activity from last chapter that i posted monday made me so happy because i was getting supppppper discouraged because the chapter before hand had almost no interaction so the amount that it had made me so incredibly happy and excited. i hope yall this chapter just as much and i hope that you guys are ready for where i am taking this.


	15. i pack a little pistol on my pistol belt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from little pistol mother mother

Abby can’t breathe, her vision is developing black spots and she can barely see the child that distracted the Scar that was about to open up her stomach. She is just hanging there unable to move and vault herself up to allow adequate airflow back into her lungs. 

The woman backs into her and Abby spots the chance to wrap her legs around the woman’s throat, attempting to choke the woman. She tried to fight her off and shot at her with an empty handgun but Abby’s grip on her head was too powerful. The woman starts clawing at her legs before she sees a young girl, a young scar, run up to her and stabs the woman in the head with a hammer. Effectively killing her. 

Abby scrambles to find the bucket she was precariously balancing on once the woman fully collapses dead, her flailing legs ends up hitting the bucket and knocking it away from her. 

She gasps out cries of pain, she hears her heart beat pounding in her ears. Her blood rushed trying to send blood to her brain. She hears the faint calls of someone screaming ‘Lev!’ She eyes a small boy that comes closer to her, she sees between the black spots an angry face and a knife gripped in his hands, her eyes widen in fear that he will end what the other Scar started. 

The boy however moves swiftly to where the rope is tied and cuts her down. She drops with a hard thud and lets out a grunt of pain, she sucks in air, refilling her lungs with precious oxygen. Abby finally lifts her head and takes a good look at the two kids, she sees the young boy that cut her down and then the young girl that was beaten by the bigger scar. The girl is panting and leaning against a rock clutching her left arm. 

She struggles to stand up at the same time that Abby forces herself up and eyes the two young scars with apprehension in her eyes. She crawls over to the dead body of the woman and removes the hammer that was embedded in her skull. She turns around to where the two kids are staring and hears the sounds of infected coming their way. 

“Watch your backs.” 

  
  
  


Yara, the girl with the destroyed arm, lays panting against the ambulance they pulled Abby through. “Just give me a minute.” 

Abby looks up at the ambulance and back down at the girl and eyes her arm, Abby knows the girl will slow them down if she keeps trying to walk. She crouches down by her and starts to maneuver her to be picked up. “You need to hang on tight.” After the mumbled ‘okay’ from the girl, Abby fully pulls her into her arms. 

A moan of pain from her has Abby reassuring her and helping her breath through the pain. Abby carefully runs as fast as she dares with the injured girl in her arms, she follows the boy down a hill and into a shipping yard. 

“Try the doors!” 

The boy does as she says, he keeps becoming more and more frustrated each time the door knob jiggles indicating that it was locked. He comes up onto the last door and throws it open, he anxiously stands next to the door waiting for Abby to walk up with his sister. She carefully shoves her way through the door frame, trying not to bump the injured girl into the door frame. 

The girl groans out and the smaller boy anxiously moves further into the small trailer, he yells back to Abby about some couch for Yara. Abby walks forward and sees the couch that Lev mentioned. Abby moves to gently set Yara down, the girl grimaces in pain. 

“Do you know how to fix it?” 

Abby bites her bottom lip and gently picks up Yara’s arm. She gently moves it around trying not to make it worse. “It needs to get set back into place.” 

“...And do you know how to do that?” Abby nods in response and looks around for something to use as a splint. 

“Hey Kid, can you rip up some scraps from this?” Abby tosses an old rag, most likely a towel used by the people that used the trailer pre-outbreak day. Lev catches the rag in a clubsy nervous way, he aggressively tears the rag into thick strips. Abby spots an old wooden chair that would work perfectly as a splint if she can break it the right way. She reaches over for it and stands, she sets the chair on the ground and brings her foot down on the leg and hears the snap of it breaking off. 

Out of the corner of her eye she sees both kids flinch back at the loud sound the wood made as it was breaking. Abby just shrugs and grabs the wooden leg and puts her hand out for the cloth pieces that Lev ripped for her. Lev drops the cloth into her hand. Abby gives him a small smile as a ‘thank you’, she sets the cloth and wooden leg next to Yara. 

“Okay, I need to set the bone back into place. This is going to hurt a lot Yara.” She looks nervously up at Abby with tears in her eyes. Biting her lip the young girl just nods. 

Abby sucks in a nervous breath and places her hands on the girl's arm, adjusting her grip to attempt to set the bone correctly. She quickly shoves the bone back into place and the girl under her hands screams out in agonizing red hot pain. The boy behind her steps forward in concern for his sister, Abby pays the boy no mind and gets to adjusting the splint. 

After the wood was wrapped with the ripped pieces of cloth Abby stands up, content with her work. She slings her bag over her shoulder and makes her way out of the door, the boy stops her with a hand on her arm. “Will she be okay?” 

She looks down into his eyes, this kid is so young and she can see the unshed tears resting in his almond shaped eyes. His lip is quivering and his other hand not on her arm is holding his bow in an ironclad grip so strong his fingers are starting to turn white. Her eyes track over to the girl that has finally passed out from either pain or exhaustion and sees her swollen arm. 

“I don’t know kid, but you two need to be out of here by the morning. Scars are bound to head this way once the sun is up.” 

The kid grumbles out an almost silent ‘Seraphites’ but nods, Abby takes that as confirmation that Lev and Yara will be out of the trailers come morning and finally leaves. She steps out of the trailer and looks up at night sky, groaning out her frustration of having to walk the mile or so long distance to the aquarium. 

  
  
  


Soaked to bone, Abby finally enters the aquarium. 

“Owen!” Abby squints her eyes trying to see through the dark building, she may have been in and out of here so many times that she knows it like the back of her hand. But the darkness changes the look of everywhere around her. She finally sees the door leading into the theatre and rushes towards it, the doors thankfully open and she sees the small and dinky boat floating with the lights on. 

_ There he is.  _

She slides down the rail on her butt and lands at the bottom. The boat floats on the water just above her eye level, the platform in front of her getting in the way. Abby vaults herself over and lands with a thud on the hard and cracked concrete. Her legs carry her onto the boat and down the small staircase to the door, she tries to draw a few breaths in to comfort herself. 

Before she has the chance to open the door, it gets thrown in her face. Her eyes go wide as she sees Owen standing in front of her. His hair disheveled and the white t-shirt that he wears is dirty and grimy with mud and dried blood. He glares up at Abby with a look that she has never seen directed at her from her best friend. 

“What are you doing here Abs?” 

She puffs up defensively, her automatic response to the pissed off tone that he directs her way. “What the fuck do you think I am doing here dumbass?” 

Abby shoulders past Owen and walks deeper into the cabin of the ship. The warm light from candles and a lantern casts a soft aura in the ship. She walks to the bed and throws her bag on the ground and grunts as she sits down, the events of her day getting to her. 

“Was Issac telling the truth? Did you side with the Scars?” 

The man in question walks over to an already half drank bottle of whiskey and pours himself three fingers worth into a glass. He looks over at Abby with an eyebrow risen in question, she just shakes her head. Owen takes a big gulp of his drink and slumps over the table with a groan. 

“Will you promise to listen to me?” She nods. “I uh, Danny and I were out on a patrol and we came across a bunch of Scars. We quickly wiped out most of them, but I ended up with an older Scar. This man was around Manny’s dad's age, if not older. I had him pinned and he looked up at me with a look of defeat written all over his face, as if he was ready to die. I sat there not doing anything and the man didn’t even try to defend himself.” 

Owen looks at Abby, and a look on his face as if he is back there. “I couldn’t kill him. I couldn’t end this man’s life. Danny yelled at me to kill him and I refused, I told him I was done killing Scars, I am done fighting this pointless war for Isaac.” 

Abby huffs out a surprised sound. Owen, her best friend that was the one that convinced them all to join this fight, no longer wants to participate? 

“Danny shot the man under me and we ended up fighting. I shot him in self defense and ran.” 

Abby stands up, trying desperately to think that Owen hasn’t changed this much. Trying to not think about how much their friendship has been drifting apart since Jackson. “If you shot him in self defense we can go back to Isaac and use that! Tell him that Danny attacked you and you had to protect yourself!” 

“No Abby!” He shouts at her, stepping forward so they are nose to nose, toe to toe. “Can’t you understand. I don’t  _ want  _ to fight anymore. I don’t want to fight  _ this  _ fight anymore.” 

She scoffs, absolutely flabbergasted. “Then what will you do? You can’t stay here, not with Scars running around and Issac and the other WLF’s hating you, you’ll die within a week!” 

“I’ve heard rumors of the fireflies getting back together down in Santa Barbara, this boat is close to being ready to go…” 

“So you’re going to abandon Mel here? And me?” 

He takes another gulp of his drink, Abby is now starting to regret not accepting his offer of a glass. “Mel is safer here and you can make your own decision.” 

“Have you even talked about this with Mel? Did she agree with your reasoning?” 

He gives her a side glance that answers her question, “She's going to hate you when she finds out you left.” 

“But she’ll be alive, both her and the baby.” Abby shakes her head and debates on telling Owen about the two Scar kids that she saved. She decides against it, knowing that Owen will call her a hypocrite, same as him. 

“When are you leaving?” He looks up from his glass in shock, surprised that she still isn’t fighting him on this. 

“Uhh… I’m not sure, almost as soon after I get the boat fixed.” Abby gives a small ‘hum’, indicating that she is thinking. 

“If you give me a few days to think about it, I might be willing to leave with you.” Abby keeps hitting Owen with more surprising statements. This woman that he has known for almost the entirety of his life seems to be a different person since the last time they truly talked. “For now, I need to sleep. Bad.” 

Owen nods and he gets up and gestures to the door to leave the boat, Abby gets up to follow. They silently walk out of the ship and further deeper into the aquarium to where they used to sleep when they hid out when they were younger and in training. 

  
  
  


_ She stares down a dark hallway, illuminated only by a blinking red light. Loud warning sirens sound above her, her bones absorbing the sound and seeming to vibrate her entire body along with the rhythmic pulses of the alarms.  _

_ Abby sprints forward down the long hallway, knowing that her father will be at the end in the surgery room. The hallway stretches longer and longer, as if it is never ending. She lets out a scream of frustration.  _

_ She almost runs into the door but the door opens on it's own, as if beckoning her inwards. The room is dark and she can smell wood and fire. An odd smell for an operating room. Her legs unwillingly carry her forward and into the room, fearful of what she will see.  _

_ She comes to a halting stop when she sees two wooden posts with children dangling from them. Their eyes already vacant and dead, their heads lolled to the side limp, she looks down and sees their stomach carved open, their guts spilling out in a bloody and violent mess.  _

_ She looks back up at the two kids and sees the faces of Yara and Lev staring back down at her, their faces still just as dead as when she first looked but now their eyes seem to have anger swirling inside. They stare down at her and in unison speak.  _

_ “Why did you leave us to die? We’re just kids.”  _

_ Her vision starts to go black and the voices start to swirl around her consciousness. She hears the young voices of the kids blaming her for their deaths, she hears the screams of Joel as she killed him, the screams of the girl that was there, she hears the words of her father. Blaming her for his death.  _

Abby bolts up in bed, gasping at her throat trying to draw in breath through her panicked lungs. Her hair is sweaty and stuck to her forehead and neck, the locks having come undone through her restless sleep. She looks around the room with blown wide eyes filled with anxiety, the room is dark, the only light coming from the broken overhead window. 

Her eyes zero in on a small miniscule movement to her left up to the small couch that Owen was on. She freezes, not wanting to wake the man and have him ask questions about what woke her up. She sits still for a minute, holding her breath. When Owen doesn’t move other than to get more comfortable Abby lets out a small sigh of relief. 

Without thinking Abby starts collecting her gear, most of her stuff was placed right next to her for easy access. However, her backpack was on the table along with her weapons. She pulls on her jacket and tugs up her jeans over her boxers, she grabs her boots and moves over to the table. She quietly places her boots on the table and quickly packs her bag with the weapons that were lying out on the table. 

Her modified shotgun, the handgun, and the semi-automatic that she has assigned to her from the FOB. Once the weapons are safely packed up she swings the bag onto one shoulder and tip-toes out of the room not wanting to wake Owen. She closes the door behind her slowly and once she hears the click of it being closed she slides down the wall adjacent to the door, what she is about to do hits her full force. 

Abby mindlessly starts to lace up her boots, her hands making the idle movements as her mind ponders what she is about to do. 

_ I can’t go check the kids. They could be gone already and I’m just risking my own life for two scars.  _

_ But what if they aren’t gone, what if Yara is worse and what if the scars are encroaching on the kids hiding spot.  _

She groans and slams her head into the concrete wall, nowhere near hard enough to do any damage. Just something to get her mind to stop  _ thinking _ those things. She doesn’t have to help the scars, she can stay with Owen and discuss the plan. She can try to convince him to get Mel to come with them, maybe she can even talk him into inviting Nora. 

She stands up from the spot she was leaning against, knowing what it truly is that she is about to do. 

“God Abby, look at you. Risking your neck to save some scars.” She mumbles under her breath, berating herself. 

  
  
  


Her feet hit the hard concrete a second after she jumped from the highway, the early morning sun shining behind her. The highway that she was been walking down has been utterly destroyed by nature, vines traveling all around the concrete structure. Plants and trees growing through the cracks, water damage having collapsed many of the support beams. 

The hike back to where she left the kids felt longer than the hike from the kids to the aquarium. Abby wants to blame it on the fact that she decided to try and take a safer route instead of faster, she was starting to regret that idea at the moment. 

She hears the talking of a few people approximately a hundred feet away from where she landed. The voices coming closer to where she crouched down behind a broken down semi. As they get closer she hears them talking about ‘The Apostate’, and their ‘Prophet’. The mention of their ‘Prophet’ in the present tense confuses Abby, they killed their Prophet. She knows they did. 

“Any sign of the Apostate’s? Or the Wolf that helped them?” A deep voice asked whoever they were talking to. Abby silences her sigh of relief, glad that they haven’t found the kids yet. Her spine goes ridgid with the knowledge that they haven’t found them  _ yet. _ The fact that the scars are converging in the shipping yard where Abby left the kids causes her to grip her bag in an iron-grip. 

She pulls out her handgun and double cheeks that she has enough ammo and the supplies to create a few silencers if needed. She tightens the silencer around the barrel of the pistol and holds it in her left hand. As soon as she hears the two scars walk away from where she has been hiding she peaks her head around and sees a dozen more milling around the shipping yard.

_ Fuck  _

She darts between cars that littered the way from her hiding spot into the actual shipping yard. She leans against the back wall when she hears the sound of footsteps coming her way. Her body is rigid as she waits for the scar to come through the entryway, she spots a foot step through first, a lean body following wearing the brown garbs that all scars wear. 

A woman steps in front of Abby, she sees Abby and for a split second the woman thinks she has a chance to call for help or alert her group. Abby throws a hand on the woman's mouth to silence her and wraps her other arm out her throat, turning the woman so her back is against Abby’s chest. 

She starts choking the woman out with her bicep, waiting for her to start to go lax right before- There, the second the woman relaxes Abby yanks her shoulder up, breaking the woman’s throat and killing her instantly. She lays the woman down gently, not wanting to make too much sound and alert even more coming to her. 

Her ears don’t pick up anymore footsteps near her so she cautiously enters the actual shipping yard. As soon as she steps in she hears the sound and spots a foot rounding the corner in front of her. 

She darts to the right to hide behind a yellow shipping container just quick enough to not get spotted by the scar. Something hard and unforgiving id poking her back, unable to check where she threw herself without getting caught. She looks behind her and would almost cry. 

A ladder. 

Abby makes the decision to scale up the ladder, the adrenaline coursing through her body allowing her to forget about her fear of heights for a second. She grasps the first rung and starts to quickly climb up the two shipping container tall ladder, hoping to get some high ground on the scars. 

As soon as her hand touches the roof of the container Abby kicks off from the rung that her feet were resting on and pulls herself up the rest of the up. Once she gets up on top of the container she sees the back of a larger scar, without thinking Abby rushes him. 

She grabs from behind him and starts choking him out without letting him react. The man's eyes go wide, both from shock and the lack of oxygen. The man doesn’t have time to react before Abby breaks his neck much less smoothly than she did the woman before. She however was still able to incapacitate him and snap his neck, killing him quickly. 

She drops him onto the container and forces her feet to the edge of the container, looking down and seeing a group of five or six scars. All converged and discussed something in the very middle.

Abby gets hit with an idea and crouches down and swings her backpack in front of her, rummaging through it looking for a bomb or a molotov. Something to throw down and rid the threats all at once. Her finger tips touch the cold, rough feeling of one of the pipe bombs she still had from the FOB. She pulls it out and looks at it, hoping that the explosion would be big enough to get them all out of commission. 

Her fingers grip the bomb and she pulls the pin out with her teeth, she quickly overhand throws the bomb, aiming for distance and accuracy. Her eyes track the bomb as it quickly falls down into the hands of one of the scars, they seemingly have caught it on instinct. Her mouth quirks up in a smirk the second before the loud bang followed by screams and a ball of fire. 

The screams and scratches of pain make Abby’s face scrunch up in a grimace, not necessarily feeling bad about the death she has inflicted, but more so for the ones that haven’t died. The ones that got cut in the shrapnel. 

The ground clears as the smoke dies down, she spots two bodies lying dead, a third twitching and bleeding out, two others seem to have gotten out of it better than the other three. They cradle their injuries and try their best to scan on where that bomb came from. The two alive don’t stand a chance as Abby pulls out her rifle and lines up the sights to snipe the survivors dead with one shot, their heads lining up perfectly. 

The two others fall, Abby keeps her rifle up as she scans to observe if the sound has drawn anybody to her location. After a few minutes passed Abby packs up her rifle and starts head back down the ladder, trying her best to not look down. 

Her foot touches the solid ground and she starts running in the direction that the kids are. Throwing caution in favor of moving fast, relying on the fact that she scanned the area and assuming that it was clear. She comes up to the second area of the shipping area where the trailers were and as soon as she steps through the gate she gets tackled. 

Her air gets knocked out of her as her body hits the ground. Whoever tackled her being a large force causing the weight on her body to be heavy. She quickly reacts to the attacker and bridges up with her neck, she flips over onto her stomach, a move that surprised the scar on top of her. 

They growled something in her ear, but her blood was pounding too hard for her to actually make out what they said. It doesn’t matter because as she flips onto her stomach and crawls up to her hands and knees steps out of their hold. The attacker had no idea what Abby was doing, their arms only holding onto her waist trying to keep her down. 

She tears off the offending hands still holding her waist and twists around she does so, stepping out of the reach of her attacker. Her hand reaches back and grabs her machete that was hanging and rips it off. 

She brings her arm down and lodges the machete into the man’s head, blood spurts out from his skull and he drops dead. She unnecessarily brings her foot down onto his skull and crushes it, her anger at getting caught off guard. 

She looks up and sees the trailer that she left the kids in, the door was destroyed and there was a pool of blood seeping out of the door. 

Her throat closes up and she bites her tongue, unable to think about what that means. She rushes up the small staircase and sees a scar lying there dead with an arrow sticking out of her eye. 

An arrow wizes past her ear and knicks it, drawing a minuscule amount of blood. Abby throws her hands up automatically and sees the kid. His face scrunched up and scared. 

“Kid! Kid! It’s me!” The kid holds the bow at her, another arrow already drawn threatening her. 

“Why are you back.” 

Abby holds her tongue to prevent herself from biting back a witty response. “I couldn’t leave you two to fend for yourselves…” The kid lowers his bow by just a bit and backs up. 

“Can you help her? She’s not getting any better.” His voice is full of anxiety, his inflections bob up and down. Abby steps forward into the room where she left Yara and she has to bite her lip to hold in a gasp. Yara is lying on the couch soaked in sweat, her arm lying limp and swollen. The coloration a deep dark purple and red. 

“I… I can’t help her. Not here. I have somewhere safe we can go to fix this.” 

Lev just nods and grabs his sister's things, not wanting to leave whatever it is that he has wrapped so tightly in a small bundle of clothes. Abby spares him with her questions in exchange of stepping forward to gently pick up the injured girl. The poor thing was so easy for Abby to lift, she wasn’t sure if that was because the girl was so small or because of Abby’s own strength. Based on how fragile the girl looks Abby thinks it may be a combination of both. 

The girl let outs a small groan of pain as Abby’s arms go underneath her and hoist her up. From the corner of Abby’s eye she can see Lev flinch forward at the sound she made. He steps back as soon as Abby throws him a silent look. 

“We need to get to the Aquarium, it’s not too far from here.” Lev jumps to action and holds his bow at the ready and starts to stalk out of the door. “Lev, you have to protect us. I can’t fight with her in my arms.” 

He nods with a look that Abby recognizes from within herself. A look of determination that will be stopped by no one and nothing. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo it's abby time. I love abby sm and if anyone says something bad about her i'm going to cry. Thats it, thats all i'm going to do. This chapter honestly doesnt move the plot along it just shows that 1.) abby and owen aren’t a thing and they never were a thing because fuck that girls and boys can be friends without having to date or be fuck buddies. And 2.) abby will be a part of this story so i’ll still have some canon elements. 
> 
> furthermore, i might go on hiatus for a few weeks until i am more ahead in chapters. i have the plot laid out and i know what is going to happen, i just need to write this. for most of this fic i have been 2-3 chapters ahead writing and posting wise. i havent even finished chapter 16 yet. so if by this time next week i dont have at least chapter 17 done and 18 mid way then i will probably go on a few weeks hiatus. im sorry if anyone is disappointed with that and i will try to get them done as soon an i can 
> 
> i love all of you guys so so much


	16. all in a full work day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two things before yall read this chapter.  
> 1\. i recommend that you go back and re-read the first few chapters, i changed a few details that are VERY important to the plot, however since i know if i was the reader I would be way to lazy to go back and read it i will just say the change that i made. i killed jesse! i thought it over the other day when i was thinking about what i would do with jesse plot wise and i realized it would have made more sense to have killed him in chapter one. it would give ellie more of an incentive of revenge (sure she cares about tommy, he was like an uncle to her, but it wouldn't be at the same level of revenge wanting), i think that the combined anger of tommy AND jesse's death, her uncle and her best friend, would reach a similar level to the anger with joels. obviously it wouldn't be equal but i think it would be close enough for her to have a similar if not near-identical drive as she did in the game.  
> 2.uhhh heres the discord server link. i have never made a discord so im sorry yall https://discord.gg/Q5tmzZZ8Er
> 
> chapter title from graves whiskey shivers

Ellie wakes to the horrid sound of retching and the smell of stomach acid. Her thoughts slowly come back to her as she wakes up and becomes more lucid. As soon as her brain connects her thoughts to what she hears Ellie jolts out of the comfortable chair that was her and Dina’s bed for the night. 

She scrambles out of the chair so quickly that she falls onto her ass. Ellie ignores the embarrassment of falling out of a chair and the slight tinge of pain in her ass. She quickly gets her feet underneath her and slides over to where her girlfriend is bent over a bucket. 

Ellie gently brings her hand to hold back the thick black hair out of Dina’s face, her other hand rubs gentle circles on the small of her back. Trying to be comforting. 

She whispers words of encouragement into Dina’s ear, unsure if the woman can even hear her behind her sickness. 

A few agonizing minutes go by where Ellie can do nothing but sit behind her girlfriend as she leans over in pain. The room they are sitting in is quiet and dark, the early morning sun blocked by the cloudy skies of Seattle. 

Dina’s sickness finally calms down enough for her to turn into Ellie arms, silent tears soaking into her shoulder. She buries her head into Ellie’s chest, seeking the warm comfort of Ellie’s body. 

“It hasn’t been like this while we were traveling… has it?” Ellie questions. 

Dina shakes her head ‘no’, Ellie lets out a silent sigh of relief. Thankful that her girlfriend at least wasn’t hiding how bad her morning sickness has been. 

“I… I don’t want to hold you guys back as you look for the WLFS.” Ellie brings her hand up and cups Dina’s cheek, the sick woman leans her head into Ellie’s callused hand. She is able to send a small reassuring smile to her worried girlfriend, a smile that the red head sends right back to her. 

“You won’t…” Ellie stands up and pauses from where they were both sitting from the floor. “I was thinking you stay here while Joel and some of the others go out to find a lead? Someone from their group should be able to stay with you.” 

Dina’s dark eyes widen, she opens her mouth to respond to Ellie but she is caught off by having to lean back over the bucket to dry heave more. The retching sound that rackets Dina’s smaller frame concerns Ellie, she doesn’t know what's normal and what isn’t when it comes to pregnancy. Ellie never paid any attention in military school when they gave the very brief lesson about sex ed (mostly saying to not do it), and Joel never felt the need to have that conversation with her. 

Not like she personally needed that conversation, with the fact that she has and never will be attracted to men. 

However seeing how Dina’s pregnancy is affecting her, Ellie really wishes she knew more about it. She wishes she could help or get Dina something that she could stomach. 

The redhead sucks in a shaky breath, not wanting to make her girlfriend upset. Especially with the morning that she has had, Ellie would never desire to make Dina feel worse than she currently is. “Last night after you fell asleep I went to go and speak with Joel. Tell him what’s going on.” At the mention of Joel and Ellie’s discussion Dina seems to shrink in on herself on the floor, she pulls her knees closer to her chest. Seeing the reaction that Dina has Ellie collapses back onto the floor, unable to leave Dina be. She puts a reassuring hand on the girl's knee and gives her a squeeze. “He agrees that you should stay here with some of the other group to stay safe, him and I are thinking about heading to this hospital that we have heard a bit of from the WLFs we have encountered.” 

Dina’s face morphs from an embarrassed and ashamed face into a look of worry. “You and Joel can’t go out there on your own. You don’t know who else is out there.” 

“If it makes you feel better, we will ask Booker or one of the others to join us in that direction. Is that alright babe?” 

She reluctantly nodded her agreement, her desire to back Ellie up colliding head first with her instinct begging her to stay safe. 

\---

Not many things in Andromaches life can surprise her anymore, having lived thousands of years means you have a multitude of different experiences. She has lived thousands of lives and has had thousands of surprises. However, Andromache will also be the first to admit that the past twenty-five years have been the most surprising in the last millennia. Losing her immortality, a global pandemic turning into an apocalypse, many factions fighting against each other instead of helping each other (that one was not as surprising to her), then her immortality coming  _ back _ in such a horrifying way. 

Someone being  _ immune  _ to the cordyceps would rank very high on her scale of surprises that surprise Andy that she can be surprised in her long life. Even with their immortality they can  _ technically  _ turn into one of those things. If they have a large and dangerous wound that takes a while for their body to heal the fungus will take over their mind too quickly for whatever heals them to eject it from their body. 

The first time one of them had a large injury as such alongside many bites which in turn made them become a runner was the most terrifying moment for them. Poor Nile had to shoot Nicky in the head as his body was controlled by the fungus, Joe unable to bring himself to shoot his own husband. Andy remembers her and Nile anxiously awaiting if Nicky was going to wake up himself or as one of those again, Joe was sobbing over the dead body. She remembers herself collapsing in relief when Nicky opened his eyes and they were no longer glazed over.

“Boss?” The gravelly voice of Joe brings Andromache out of her musings, she looks up at him and grimaces when he looks down at her as if he knew what she was thinking. 

Instead of verbally answering Andy nods her head, indicating that she is listening and Joe can say what he needs. “One of the girls that Booker and Joel came with is pregnant,” Andy coughs a bit in surprise, she could have sworn that the two girls were together. They reminded her too much of Joe and Nicky, of even herself and Quy-  _ No, do not think of her and where she might be now _ \- “Yeah, it’s confusing, Nicky and I have a bet on what the exact story is. But anyways, the girl… I think it was Dina? Pretty sure that was her name. The pregnant girl is the one that wasn’t Joel’s daughter. She’s staying here while Joel and Ellie head out to the hospital, Nile and Booker were planning on staking out the base that we spotted a few days ago, the one in the stadium.” 

“Joe, get to the point. What are you and Nicky doing, and what do they want me to do?” Joe smiles sheepishly at being interrupted by her. 

“Uh well, Ellie came to me and asked if any of us would be willing to go with her and her father to the hospital, apparently Dina didn’t want him and Ellie to go on their own.” 

“Oh, so you want me to go with them?” 

“Well, no. I figured that you could decide on who went with them, you are the boss.” 

The woman finally stands up from the chair she was relaxing in, she stretches her arms out in front of her as she collects her thoughts, waking up her muscles. What she knows of the situation is that the Father and Daughter duo will not want to be separated, she knows (no matter how much Nile tries to hide it) that Nile doesn’t want any alone time with Booker to be taken away, and of course she can’t separate Joe and Nicky (they were never as effective if they were separated for to long without contact), which leaves herself. 

The idea of getting to know the immortal personally without the others around is enticing for Andy, she got to know Nile on her own, even if she won’t actually be alone with Joel with his daughter there. Even then getting to know the two without Dina or the others around may be beneficial to both of them. 

Andy shrugs, “I’ll do it.” 

She sees Joe visibly deflate, a predictable response that makes Andy crack a small smile. Even though everything else in this new world that they must deal with, her family is predictable. 

Joe looks sheepishly at her, his hand comes up to run through his dark and curly hair. “Okay good cause I told Ellie that you would be willing to go with them.” 

Andy can’t stop herself from laughing, she lets out a belly deep laugh that sends Joe into a laughing fit as well. They quickly calm down their laughter, not having laughed the way they have since before the outbreak. Andy truly can’t remember when it was. 

They hear a tentative knock on the door, making the two quickly sober up and quiet down. Before Andy or Joe can answer, the tall and skinny girl - _ Ellie, her name is Ellie _ \- comes through the door, her backpack on her face set in stone. Her expression is almost unreadable, emphasis on almost. Andromache has not lived thousands of years and thousands of lifes to not be able to read the most unreadable face.

The kid has a look of fear and uncertainty in her eyes, exposing her youth to the criticism of Andy. The kid looks between Joe and herself, her green eyes flicking around quickly seeming uncertain on what the sound was coming from the two immortals. 

“Uh… so you’re coming with Joel and I to the hospital?” The kids discreetly reaches into her pocket and grasped something for comfort, Andy raises an eyebrow, intrigued by what it the kid would have, but shrugs that thought away. The woman gives the kid a nod as she leans down to grab her pack, her labrys strapped securely onto the back. 

All pretense aside, as soon as the kid saw her weapon she ran up to Andy, a look of wonder and curiosity that was quickly stopped and covered with a thick shield of indifference. 

She reaches a shaky hand out and points at the weapon that now sits against Andy’s back. “What is that? I’ve never seen an axe that looks like that.” 

_ Oh the curiosity of children _

“It’s my weapon, it’s called a labrys. I have had it longer than Joe and Nicky have been alive.” The girl’s mouth drops in surprise, a reaction that Andy would have placed money one if she had the chance. Andy subtly shakes her head and walks forward, she places a hand on the kids shoulder which causes her to tense up. As soon as she feels the muscles tense in the kid she drops her hand, the possibilities of trauma in this world brings an odd type of concern to Andy’s thought process. 

“Anyways kid,” Ellie huffs out a small breath in irritation. “Enough of the history lesson for now. We need to leave if we want to make the day productive.” 

Ellie jumps to action a few steps behind her, the anticipation of the upcoming day radiating off of her, Andy is unable to place if the energy coming from the girl is excitement or anxiety. Andy steps through the door leading into the side room she was resting in, walking out into the main area of the theatre. The dull rays of morning sunlight leaking through the cracks in the walls, casting ominous looking shadows. 

Her eyes adjust to the darker room and she see’s Booker and Nile to left having some discussion with Joel. The newest one of them looks directly at Andy as soon as she steps through, more accurately he looks at his daughter that is behind her. She sees his shoulders subtly relax, his posture becoming less rigid. 

_ He is going to have a hard time when she dies _

“Joel! Andy will be coming with us!” Ellie runs out from behind Andy, her canvas shoes making light slapping sounds on the old floors. He grunts as an answer and leans down to swing the bag that was sitting at his feet onto his shoulder. Andy hangs back a few feet to leave the two some space to talk before they leave, Andy herself having to talk to Booker and Nile. 

The two walk up to Andy, Booker looking guilty while Nile holds a very light blush on her dark face. “So…” Nile starts, “The other girl, not Ellie, but the pregnant one…” 

“-Dina” Booker pipes in, reminding Nile the name of the girl that he has traveled with.

“Yes Dina, she fixed an old radio and heard over the WLF’s feed that they have a base in the old baseball stadium. Booker and I were thinking about staking that out and seeing what info we can find.” The french man just nods his head in agreement, not wanting to possibly piss off his boss, unsure where he stands. 

“Just get back here by the end of the night, what about Joe and Nicky? He didn’t have the chance to tell me what they were planning on doing.” 

“They’re thinking about staying here to keep an eye on the base and Dina. She hasn’t been doing too well since last night.” 

Andy nods, not commenting on the distress that Dina must be going through. Even throughout her thousands of years alive, Andy has not had much experience with pregnancies. 

Behind the couple-not-couple she see’s Joel and Ellie looking at her and then at the door, indicating they are ready to leave. Andy places a reassuring but firm hand on Bookers shoulder, squeezing in their own version of intimacy. She drops her hand and starts to make her way towards the duo, “Take care of eachother, I’ll see everyone tonight.” 

“Yes boss!” and an “I’ll try!” are the two responses Andy is given. Her lip quirks up in a small smile, she is so unbelievably grateful that her family is all back together again…

_ Except Quynh  _

\---- 

Andy reminds Joel too much of a combination of Tess and Ellie, the power and confidence from his long dead partner and the hesitation to trust that he thankfully broke through with Ellie. The woman walks in long strides in front of him and Ellie, leading them into a small and ruined suburb that used to be called Hillbrook. If the sign that they passed before they jumped into a mud pit was to be believed. 

His boots sink into the mud, making Joel’s movements sluggish and slow as he tries to quickly step out of the gunk. 

“Motherfucker,” He hears the tell-tale huff from his daughter before she exclaims out, “Fucking mud is getting into my goddamned socks!” 

He can’t help but huff out a laugh, air blowing out of his nose in small breaths. Her canvas shoes protect against absolutely nothing in this wet and muddy area, the stubborn girl unwilling to wear hardy boots that he has always tried to get her to wear when they were in Jackson or on the road. 

Andy looks back at the youngest one out of the three of them, not shocked but something else written on her face as a reaction to the vulgarity of Ellie. Her look caused Joel to huff out another breath at the hilarity of the miniscule moment.

“Well… your socks beside the point. Let’s quickly spread out and search these buildings. It doesn’t look like they’ve been used in a while.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” he said “El and I will head to the right and you can get the left? Meet up at center.” 

“Works for me.” Andy says, she turns around and starts her mini-march towards the first building, some laundromat on the right halfway overtaken by green vines. 

  
  


The buildings held nothing but meager supplies and somber stories, only leading them directly into the WLF’s path. The trio only had enough time to react and hide to not direct their attention on them. Joel, unfortunately being much larger than the other two women has to stay behind them to try and not draw any unwanted attention to them as they lie on their stomachs in the tall grass. 

Without saying anything Andy took the lead, her natural leadership taking no arguments from him or Ellie. Joel doesn’t fight it, having dealt with leaders that held more power than him before, but he feels rather than see Ellie’s jaw tightening in frustration at having no control. Thankfully the girl follows his actions and follows the older woman without any argument.

Joel only spots about five or six soldiers, which wouldn’t be bad if at least half of them didn’t have tracking dogs with them. The dogs undoubtedly trained to detect any foreign scent and then hunt them down. Joel tries to rack his brain on how they should deal with them, before he can think anything up however he feels the light tap coming from Ellie. Her canvas shoes lightly hitting his shoulder attempting to alert his attention to her without drawing any unwanted attention to the group. 

He looks up at her and she nods and turns onto her side, unable to say anything advising her to stay low to the ground to stay hidden Joel just tries to keep an eye up front and at Andy, who is also looking at Ellie with confusion set in her face. Finally after what felt like forever of her trying to silently dig through her backpack she found what she wanted, she pulled out a handmade trap bomb that would have made Bill proud. 

If he could Joel would whistle at the impressiveness of his daughter, instead he gives her a look of appreciation and pride that she almost preans at. Ellie hands him a trapmine and then turns around to hand Andy one. 

The older woman looks at his kid with a look of surprise, it seems that Ellie keeps impressing and surprising the immortal left and right. 

Under her breath, Ellie reveals her plan to them. “We all go separate ways and attract the attention of the dogs, once we see that a dog has caught out scent we place the mine down and then get out of there as quickly as possible. I'm not sure on the radius of these bombs.” 

Andy nods and adds one almost silent order on top of Ellie’s, “We shouldn't do this simultaneously. We need to do one at a time to confuse them on how many of us there are, once we hear a bomb go off the other needs to then redirect the attention of one of the soldiers and dogs and then repeat.” 

Joel nods and takes the trapmine from Ellie. He grabs her wrist before he starts to crawl away and looks her in the eyes, her green eyes look at him on the same eye level in confusion not knowing why he stopped her from going to do what her plan was. 

“Be safe babygirl. If anything happens and it seems that this ain’t gonna end right you need to leave okay? Andy and I will survive.” 

He releases her wrist when she gives him a reluctant nod, which all Joel does in response is nod back. She turns around much quicker than Joel could and very quickly crawls towards the left, where the grass becomes shorter and more obvious. He draws in a breath when he sees a soldier walk past her, thankfully without a dog, the soldier keeps walking and Joel feels as if he can breath again.

When he sees her disappear inside a building is when he finally starts to crawl in the direction that neither of the women went. Thankfully they gave him the path with less grass and more buildings and cars to block the view of him. He ever so slowly starts his path towards the building he is to hide in until he hears the signal.

Joel stands into a crouch, thankful to no longer having to crawl on his stomach, hidden by a care. Not even a few seconds after he enters his hiding spot he hears the sound of a brick breaking and the soldiers going into ‘alert mode’.

“Did you hear that!”  _ I sure hope you did, you were supposed to hear it  _ “Yeah, I’ll head over with the dog. See if she can smell anything off.”  _ Even better _

The dog barks out an affirmation, as if confirming to their owner that they picked up on a foreign scent. He hears the panicked shuffling and quick steps of the dog and owner chasing after the scent, almost instantly he hears simultaneously the boom form the bomb and the scream of pain from the soldier (unfortunately Joel also heard the cry of pain from the dog before it died). 

The soldiers now on high alert start acting like chickens with their heads cut off. They run concerned about the soldier that was blown up and then stabbed in the neck -Ellie- scared about what that means for them and their fate. 

Thankfully the soldiers are idiots because when Andy draws their attention away from Ellie they follow. From Joel’s hiding spot he can see two of the soldiers urging on the second dog to trace the scent, a man and a woman go with the dog towards Andy. Leaving two soldiers and a dog for him to take out. 

Andy’s targets go out the same way as Ellie’s, with screams and cries of pain before they go silent from Andy putting them out of their misery. It’s Joel's turn now. 

He grabs an old beer bottle that he had saved in his bag and throws it a few feet ahead of him, attracting the attention of the last WLF’s. When they start on their way towards him he lays down the trap mine and activates it. 

As quickly as he dares he jogs into a side room of the building, allowing him to ambush the soldiers if they survive the bomb. He sees the heads of the two soldiers walking into the building right before they set off the trap mine. 

Joel rushes out of his hiding spot and grabs the soldier that was farthest from the explosion and received the least amount of injuries from it. He grabs the man and pulls him into a choke hold and slowly kills the man as the other soldier writhes in pain on the floor, half of their body burnt and imbedded with shrapnel. 

The man goes limp and he drops the dead body and walks over to the last soldier who looks up at him pleading for him to end their life. Joel swiftly puts them out of their misery with a shiv into their heart. 

The shiv in his hand breaks off into the now dead soldier's body, he releases it and tries to quickly loot the two bodies before he heads out to meet the other two. 

They look to be in similar conditions as him, bloody and sweaty. Unfortunately something that makes his heart squeeze in anxiety is the fact that Ellie has a new bruise developing on her arm and a small cut that won’t even scar on her lip. While him and Andy may have been injured during their part of the ‘mini-mission’ those small injuries have already healed.

  
  


\---

Thankful that her morning sickness decided to stay morning sickness today, Dina tries to wipe off the evidence on her face of her horrible morning and wash out the acidic feeling in her mouth. She groans out in frustration when the taste can’t seem to leave her mouth. 

Frustrated with the events in life she was handed, a girlfriend who is dead set on avenging her uncle and best friend alongside her father, said best friend being the dead baby daddy to the fetus inside of her, the horrible morning sickness that tends to not be exclusive to mornings, and then finally the absolutely insane shit that is a group of immortals running into her life saying that Joel is one of them. Oh, and not to forget that her actual girlfriend is somehow immune to the thing that has overtaken humanity. 

Dina truly just wants to sleep and ignore everything that is her life. However she unfortunately knows that she can’t because she worries too much about Ellie and desires to be helpful to this strangely large group that they have stumbled into. She leans over and grunts in the discomfort that causes on her abdomen, she tries to quickly pull her shoes on and securely tie them onto her feet. 

Satisfied with her boots laced up, Dina stands on uncertain feet, hoping that she doesn’t get hit by another bout of nausea. Staying still for a minute she breathes out in relief as her stomach decides to not jump in circles in that moment. 

Braving the day she steps through the door of the small side room that her and Ellie were hiding out in the night previously. The room having been a changing room before outbreak day made it slightly difficult to find somewhere comfortable to sleep but they managed. The changing room leads into a dark backstage area filled with useless props that cast dark shadows with the red emergency lights that work with the backup generator. 

The backstage area makes shivers crawl up her spine but Dina ignores them, writing it off as useless paranoia and moves forward to find something useful for her to do. 

  
  


She quickly found an old radio that was not in the most perfect and usable condition, but also not complete trash, and decided to try and fix it up. After scourging around for a few wires and different tools that would help her bring the radio back to working order. 

Thankfully there were many spare wires lying around and odds and ends tool wise that Dina was able to quickly fix up the radio and start slowly combing through the different frequencies, trying to find one that the WLF may be using to find information on them. 

Her nimble and practiced hands turn the nob expecting the continued sounds of static to flow through. She is shocked by the sound of voices that flow through. Dina quickly scrambles for paper and the map that was stapled onto a wall above her, hearing different directions and locations called out through the radio. 

A smile grazes her lips, satisfied that she could be of help to the group. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, next week i may not update. it depends on where i am writing wise, i will say that i have been making a lot of progress both with school work and with the fic so i think it would be safe to assume that i can update next week. yay!  
> im going to repeat what i said in the beginning notes but not as lengthy, basically i rewrote the first few chapters to include the fact that jesse died alongside tommy.  
> uhhh heres the discord server link. i have never made a discord so im sorry yall https://discord.gg/Q5tmzZZ8Er


	17. my finger on the trigger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from going down fighting Phlotilla

The WLF’s were easy to take care of, in the beginning, even with three the numbers of them became overwhelming. Their fucking dogs and their seemingly unlimited ammo piss Andy of to no ends. She doesn’t remember the WLF being this well off when they left Seattle oh so many years ago. 

They were driven to hide in the dense and lush woods, Ellie lagging behind Joel and Andy. The poor kid having the bite on her arm still healing, a big fight like that didn’t help her. Andy finally stops a few hundred feet into the trees, her instincts telling her there is something…  _ off _ about this forest. 

She throws her hand up to stop the other two, their almost silent footsteps freeze. Joel glances back at Ellie to be sure that she is fine, when the girl gives him a glare he turns back around, accepting that as an adequate response. She looks at the duo and brings her finger up to her lips to indicate for them to not say anything. 

Andy turns back around and drops into a crouch, unsure on where exactly the threat is. The other two follow her example and drop into a crouch as well, Ellie practically becoming undetectable with her lithe frame that was practically designed for stealth. The three of them slowly get down into a semi-covered ditch, a place where they could look up and out to see any danger, but the danger won’t be able to see them unless something indicates where they are. 

As soon as Joel gets down and hidden, the sound of high-pitched whistling and pounding footsteps hits Andy's ears, sending a chill down her spine. A group of two or three brown clad Serpahites race past her, thankfully not seeing the group. 

She hears the almost silent gasp from Ellie behind her, shocked that Andy was right about hiding. Thankful that they hid when they did because she knows someone would have taken a shot to the shoulder, if not worse. 

The argueing of the Seraphites grows louder, discussing about their Prophet and some Apostates. Andy knew a bit about their cult, she knows what a Prophet is of course, but she didn’t know what they meant by apostates. 

Crawling further down the ditch to try and get a clearer look at what is happening reveals the previous three Seraphites now into almost ten. All of them surrounding a body that was hanging with their intestines hanging out of their body. 

As quietly as she can, Andy turns back around to Joel and Ellie. “They are Seraphites,” Her words are almost silent, the other two straining their ears to hear what she is saying. “They are a cult obsessed with making others pure, that’s what they did to the poor fellow hangin. We need to be careful, they are extremely dangerous in such large groups.” 

Ellie opens her mouth to ask a question, but quickly closes it when she spots one of the Seraphites turning around and glaring up at their hiding spot that was a few feet above them. Andy nods, indicating she sees the same issue as the younger girl. She turns back around and starts to work her way deeper into the lush undergrowth, attempting to stay hidden. 

The scent of blood and rain makes her scrunch up her nose, but she keeps pushing forward. Ducking underneath branches and trying to quitely push the foliage out of her way. The two behind are thankfully being as silent as she is, Ellie even more so. 

Andy reaches the end of the ditch that drops down into a shallow pool of water, her eyes quickly dart all around them and hopes that there aren’t any Seraphites nearby that she can’t see or hear and she drops down. 

She lands in a crouch, trying to stay low and hidden. Making herself smaller and less easy to see doesn’t help the fact that landing in the shallow water caused a splash. The two following splashes of Joel and Ellie jumping down makes the sound even more incriminating. 

The other two get down as soon as they hear the screeching sound of whistling. The three try to quietly run to the side of the underbrush, trying to get out of sight from where they were last heard. 

Andy throws herself onto her chest, sliding underneath the very low foliage. She can only hope the other two are following her example as she quietly crawls forward to get further away from the crime scene. 

Andy bursts out of the underbrush and grabs the lone Seraphite, she puts her hand over her mouth and silences them before they can call out a warning. Efficiently Andy cuts off her air supply and breaks her neck, killing the Seraphite instantly. She slowly brings the dead body down and lays the limp corpse on the muddy ground. 

She heard a high pitched and whispered “Oh shit!” as soon as Joel and Ellie come out from where they crawled from. Dirt and mud is smeared across both of their faces and bodies, hair caked with mud, Andy doubts she looks any better. 

“Keep goin’” Joel grunts out as he pushes Ellie forward. The group starts to go down the way the dead Seraphite was heading, hoping to avoid the ones that were following them from behind. 

The lush and fullness of the forest alongside her heart beat pounding in her ears reminds Andy of times when she ran away with Quynh in tow, the two women an army all in themselves. The feeling of branches cutting into her cheek and healing just as quickly all too familiar, leaves a longing that the ancient woman thought she left behind her so many years ago. 

A crash and more loud and sharp whistles follow them, pushing the group to run faster. Their position revealed and unable to hide unless risking getting caught and strung up. Joel and herself would theoretically be fine, but Ellie on the other hand… 

The girl in Andy’s thoughts seems to have given up the pretense of silence as she huffs under her breath repeats of the same phrase. The girl cursing more than some actual pirates Andy knew. 

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK!” 

Andys eyes dart back and forth, running quickly over the changing surroundings as they jump from uneven surface to another. The soft ground of the forest changing and unsteady, three pairs of feet making soft thuds as they run. Andy’s eyes catch a small opening a few yards in ahead that her and Ellie no doubt could fit through, Joel is a bigger question. 

Not seeing any other options other than running, and Andy knows that they can’t keep running forever. They are going to either get tired and get caught or get caught off guard for being outnumbered. 

She veers to the left, running directly to the small opening, Andy arrives first and she pulls herself to a smooth stop. 

Joel and Ellie arrive right behind her, both of them exhausted and panting. Unable but trying to catch their breath. 

“We need to get in here and block the entrance.” She barks out, not allowing any room for argument or questions. The kid just nods her head and slides inside the opening, almost gliding into the dark unknown with her lithe frame. 

Andy sees the yellow light of Ellie’s flashlight turning on, she looks over at the muddy frame of Joel and bunches her eyebrow frustratingly. How in the hell is she going to get this man in there? He is bigger than the entrance and won’t fit in unless he breaks a few bon- 

_ Oh of course! _

The most obvious solution for getting the newly immortal inside is to break and dislocate his shoulder so that he could squeeze through. Andy doesn’t even bother warning him about what she is about to do, she grabs his shoulder and slams his body into the metal wall. She hears the snap of his collarbone breaking and the pop of his shoulder coming out of place. 

Joel lets out a surprised grunt of pain, the air getting knocked out of his lungs by the impact. Ellie cries out his name from within the structure but Andy pays no mind, her ears honing in on the Seraphites coming closer to where they stand. 

Andy shoves Joel inside the dark opening, his body going in with no resistance because of the limpness of his left side.

Andy knew when she stopped and realized she had to break Joel to get him in, she wouldn’t have time to make it inside with them before they got caught by the Serapthites. Andy knows what to expect from them, having dealt with them almost ten years ago.

She turns around and has them behind her, she pulls her labrys off of her bag and grips the handle with a tight and white-knuckled grip. “Get in and block it up!” 

All she got from Joel was a grunt of confirmation before a heavy and metal filing cabinet fell and blocked the entrance. She heard the muffled cry of her name from Ellie, questioning why they were leaving her there. 

_ Good, get the kid out of here. _

\--- 

  
  


Joel’s shoulder healed quickly, he only had time to address the fact that his left side was in pain before he was shoved into the dark and wet hideaway. He barely registered the order from Andy before he shouldered the filing cabinet down with his right side, the metal making a loud bang as it fell to cover the entrance. 

“What about Andy!” 

“She will take care of herself El. We need to move.” Joel trudges forward, the dim light from their flashlights barely lighting the way enough to show their way out. “Now.” 

Ellie goes quiet, hearing the muffled events on the other side of the metal. They hear the screams of pain from the Seraphites that were unfortunate enough to meet the other end of Andy’s blade. 

She turns on her heel and silently follows Joel through the dark tunnel they have landed themselves into. Hoping that they are going to correct the way towards the hospital that they know the WLF are hiding out in. He takes them at a brisk pace, not running down the tunnel but also not walking. 

Wanting to get away from the Seraphites but also not knowing what they are getting themselves into and needing to be cautious about where they go and where they turn. 

Coming up on a two way divide in the tunnel system Joel turns to Ellie, the question written clear on his face. “I know the hospital is to the north so…” She pulls out a small and crappy compass that he gave her a few years back as a joke. “Looks like that tunnel will take us north.” 

Joel nods and starts to head down the tunnel, taking the lead. 

  
  


The tunnels start to open up into a more obvious sewer system. Thankfully they haven’t seen anything living, or unliving, other than a few rats that have scittered across their feet. There has been a fairly concerning amount of faint roars that send an unbelievable amount of terror through both Joel and Ellie that makes them go almost silent. 

Once the faint roars die out the duo relax a bit. Their instincts are still on edge with the knowledge of something so big and horrible that they could hear from however far away they are from it exists, but relieved that it has gone silent. 

It feels as if hours have gone by, in hindsight it was no more than twenty minutes, when they see a ladder leading up and out of the sewer system. 

“Going up?” 

Joel grunts, his hand on the first rung. “I’ll head up first and make sure it's safe. Follow up if I tell ya it's good?” 

The girl groans but shoos him up the ladder. Taking that as an affirmation that she will wait till he says it is safe he starts moving up, his hands gripping each rung and practically throwing himself up every few rungs. He quickly reaches the top of the ladder and shoves the grate above him out of the way, allowing for the quickly setting sun light to creep barely illuminate the tunnel. 

He turns his head each way before he crawls out of the sewer and deems it's safe. 

“It’s good! Come up!” She doesn’t even let him finish his sentence before she is already scrambling up the ladder, making quick work of the tall ladder. He smiles a bit, but just holds the grate open for her, allowing her to swiftly exit the sewer when she gets to the top. 

Ellie stands up from out of the sewer and starts to look around for any sign of the hospital, Joel does the same looking off into the other direction of her. 

“There it is!” Ellie exclaims, relieved evident in her voice. Joel turns around to where she is looking and squints.

Yup, there it is. Covered by the fog, that is quickly laying over Seattle and shadowed by the setting sun. The huge red-cross indicating the hospital stands a few blocks away from them. The only thing separating them being a few buildings and hopefully that’s it. 

\----

  
  


Andy is usually better than this, she can’t be snuck up on and she is always able to fight her way out of an unlikely situation. But as she groggily wakes up from her third death by the Seraphites, strung up with her arms tied above her, a noose around her neck, and the cold feeling of her blood drying on her stomach as it heals over from being torn open by a scythe. 

“She’s like our prophet!” 

Her ears can barely understand what these cultists are saying, her blood constantly rushing away from her ears as the noose cuts off her circulation leading to her brain. She can register the cool feeling of a metal blade lying threatenly on her stomach, a constant threat that does not matter to her. Death would only be a break, not a sentence like they thought it would be for her. 

“You mean the false prophet! She betrayed us for the Apostates!” 

A different voice, deeper than the first two joins the argument for her life. Or one of her lives. 

“We will take her to the island. Tie her hands behind her and continue to kill her each time she wakes.” 

Before Andy can protest or try to fight her way out as one of the cultists goes to cut her down her stomach is ripped violently open again. Drawing a scream of pain from her before everything goes balck and numb from the blood loss. 

  
  


She unknowingly lets out a groan as she comes back to life, which alerts her captors of her awakening. One of the bigger ones that was holding her grips her body so tightly that she couldn’t even fathom escaping the hold. She blacks out again when someone smaller slits her throat. 

  
  


The third, or is it fourth? Time she wakes she tries to keep her eyes closed and not say anything to alert the big one holding her. Unfortunately they notice her breathing and the big one decides to wrap an arm around her esophagus, effectively shattering it and causes her to choke on her own blood. Sending her into another black abyss. 

  
  


She wakes up for hopefully the last time while her body is being dragged along by her arms down a path. The smells surrounding her are the first actual sense she can make out, the deep and earthy smell of pine surrounding her. She hears constant chatter around her, too disorientated from the repeated deaths to make out what they are saying.

“You -- she’s just like-” someone in front of her and the two that have been dragging her reluctant and limp body says, she can only hear every other word coming from the person. 

The two carrying her quickly realize that she is alive again and shout out to the people in front that she is awake. Reluctantly her feet start to move from underneath her, left foot then right foot. 

Left foot, right foot. 

Left, right. 

Left. 

Right. 

Left, right, lef- 

Stop? 

Her body comes to a sudden halt as the people holding her body mostly upright pull her back to keep her from walking. Through the disorentiation she can feel her body finally starting to heal her mind, to fully heal her torn open stomach. The healing focuses on only one injury at a time, and when you keep getting killed repeatedly the healing becomes very confused. 

Andy blinks her eyes, getting them to focus on the building that they have stopped at. The building, like all others surrounding her, is wooden. However unlike the others this one is small and has reinforced cement, seeming to have been an actual building renovated into what stands in front of her. 

They open the wooden door and Andy sees inside the building and knows exactly where they have taken her. 

Their version of a jail, and by the blood stains and variation of metal tools that litter a table to her left Andy infers that they are not the kind of jailers. 

Gaining the control of her limbs Andy plants her heels down to stop her captors in their tracks, shocking them as she was an easy drag just a few seconds ago. The two Seraphites on her sides get dragged back with a grunt from Andy, the strain on her just healed abs drawing being too much. 

She grabs their heads and quickly bashes the skulls against one another. The Seraphites go down with a loud bang and subsequently crack the bone crushing under the impact. Andy turns around to face the incoming threat with a snarl on her face, sweat and dried blood matting her hair, causing it to stick to her forehead. 

Her eyes blaze in anger as she sees another Seraphite come running through the door with a few more following them. Andy tenses in preparation to fight off however many they send her way without her weapon. 

A voice that Andy thought she would never hear in her life stops her in her tracks, the angelic yet coarse sound causing her brain to short-circuit and her muscles to seize up and freeze. 

“Andromache?” 


	18. eye for an eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: updated with a few changes that were recommended by KingAntasma, nothing changed plot wise so there is no need to reread it unless you want to! 
> 
> Thank you @kingantasma for criticism and edit suggestions!!!
> 
> chapter title eye for an eye mac quayle

“ _ Andromache? _ ” 

It can’t be her, she wasn’t supposed to be here. This was her punishment, Andromache can’t go through this with her.  _ This isn’t how they were supposed to meet again. Not captured. Not again.  _

Her thoughts over ride her body, causing her to curl up against the cold and hard stone wall, the edges of rock digging into her back. The clothes she wore having been torn to shreds by the acts her dis-  _ no _ \- the Seraphites have done to her. The fabric that still holds together stained with dried and crusted blood. 

A lot of time must have passed because when Quynh comes back to consciousness, her eyes are squeezed closed and her hands fisted into someone's tunic. Not wanting to open her eyes, in case it wasn’t  _ her _ that she saw and instead her twisted mind playing tricks. 

“Yara? Lev?” Still unwilling to open her eyes Quynh calls out for her children, the only explanation for who would be holding her so tenderly after the episode she has had. 

She feels a hand run through her hair, too callused to be one of the kids, the hand that was supporting her back moves to her closed eyes and gently caresses her eyelids trying to coax her to open them. 

She still shakes her head, unwilling to be destroyed by her mind. “No.. no I--- I can’t. I-  _ không còn nữa. Tôi không thể. _ ” 

The body holding her shushes her and whispers in her ear, “Oh _ cor meum, omnia mea _ . It’s me. I’m here. I’m so sorry.” 

_ It can’t be her, it can- She, Andromache. How…  _

Finally Quynh is coaxed to open her eyes and she gazes up at the dirtied, bloodied, and tearful face. The all to familiar smile that has only ever been directed her way falls onto her lovers olive toned face. Quynh can’t help it when her face falls into a huge smile, a smile that even her own children have not been able to drag out of her. 

She sits up in Andromache’s lap, turning around so that her legs sit on the outside of her thighs. Preventing the woman from moving, not that she would. Quynh’s shaky hands come up to cup her love's face for the first time in hundreds of years, they hover a millimeter away from her face, scared that if she were to really touch her that she would disappear. 

Andromache, of course knowing what Quynh was thinking because she thought the same thing, grabs her hands and brings them to her cheeks. As soon as Quynh’s hands make contact with the  _ warm _ and  _ alive _ face of her love she starts to cry. 

Andromache’s warm lips make contact with her hand, kissing her palm. Quynh, unable to wait any longer, she tugs Andromache’s face to her with a ferocity in her eyes that would be feared by anyone other than the woman she cradles in her hands. 

The stoic figure that Andromache usually puts up immediately melts in the hands of her lover. The feeling of coming home from not knowing what home was for long over takes all of Quynhs senses, sends her into a blissful world where the only thing that is important is the woman right in front of her. 

No need for air, no need to fall apart, no need to think about where she is. About where they are, about where the kids are or why Andromache is in here with her. The only important thing is to remember the feeling of kissing and sending years upon years of love through her body and into the other woman. 

The moment is broken when they are pulled apart by strong hands. The feeling of being pulled away from Andromache the same way she was before they put her in that wretched cage sends Quynh into a panic. 

She starts thrashing around her petite frame, crying out and screaming for Andromache. She thinks she can hear her respond to her, she thinks she can even hear others speaking, but the only thing running through her head is that she is going to be put back in the iron casket, put back into the sea. 

Her racing thoughts are halted by a pain in her neck, she feels gravity go out on her as she is dropped by the Seraphite. Her head hits the stone floor hard enough that she feels her skull shatter, causing her to finally calm down and die. 

\------

Ellie doesn’t know why today has loved soaking her to the bone, but she feels as if her toes are going to fall off with how wet her socks are. Trudging through puddles and puddles in Seattle is no match for having to swim through small… ponds to enter the hospital. Sure, she has done things like this before, both in Jackson and when her and Joel were traveling cross-country, but just because she has done it before doesn’t mean it's a good feeling. 

Swimming through the gross and muddy water into the underside of the hospital resulted in them coming up into an old and flooded boiler room in the hospital. Ellie peaks her head out of the water and looks back at Joel who was a few feet behind her, lagging behind because of the tight spaces they’ve had to swim through. Ellie opens her mouth to say something to him but he quickly silences her by bringing his finger up to his mouth and giving her an almost silent ‘shush’. 

Joel directs his head around the destroyed iron fences, she follows his directions and sees what he saw. She sees a hunched over figure sitting on a box with headphones in, some muffled music coming out. Ellie nods her head at Joel and starts to swim forward to eliminate the threat. She gets a few feet closer but then she feels the strong hand of Joel land on her shoulder pulling her back.

Ellie looks back at him questionly, inquiring why he decided to stop her when she could much easier sneak up behind this girl and kill her. 

Joel just shakes his head ‘no’ and gently tugs her behind him, being in the water allowing him to actually pull her back with no resistance on her part. Once he is in front of her Joel goes forward, she silently swims behind him and waits for him to do his thing.

He -not as swiftly as she could have done- jumps out of the water and grabs the girl from behind, he already has a shiv at her neck before she can react to the threat. He pulls her headphones out with an aggressive yank.

“Don’t make a sound.” Joel threatens the girl, his voice deep and gruf. Ellie wouldn’t be surprised if the girl shits her pants in response to him. “Hands up.” 

Her hands fly up and shake with anxiety. “Easy, easy” the girl stutters out. 

“Do you know someone named Nora?” 

The black gaming system in her hand shakes as she answers. “Yeah, yeah, sure” 

“Where is she?” 

“The hospital.” 

“Where,” Joel digs the shiv further into the girls throat, causing her to let out a small shriek in response. “In the hospital?” 

“They- they’re clearing out the up-upper floors. She’ll be somewhere up there.” 

Joel nods his head, accepting the answer. He starts to let the girl go, giving her an ounce of mercy. The girl tries to react to him releasing her, and grabs her own switchblade going to stab him. 

Somehow the girl manages to get a stab in, something that Joel no longer even reacts to other than a grunt. He grabs the hand that is frozen on the knife that is in his stomach and flings it out, his blood splattering out with it. 

“The fuck..?” The girl questions, right before Joel retaliates and takes the shiv that he was hoping to save goes right into her neck. She goes down silently, choking on her own blood. Ellie cringes a bit when she finally sees how  _ young  _ this girl is, she looks younger than her… 

She feels the warm hand of Joel sit reassuringly on her back as she gazes down at the still warm body of the  _ kid _ . “Come on El, we need to get moving up.” 

“Yeah… yeah” She stutters out. “I’m good. Let’s go.”

He hums but moves on and grabs a few bullets and screws that were lying nearby before walking to the staircase leading upwards. She follows him, shaking off the shock of the girl's death. 

_ It doesn’t matter, she is part of the group that killed Jesse and Tommy. She is in the way of us getting our revenge.  _

They slowly walk up the metal stairs and come upon a metal door, Joel goes in front as Ellie stands slightly behind him, he tries to open the door as quietly as possible. Thankfully the door opens silently. 

As soon as they are both out of the door they hear the sounds of WLF soldiers walking towards them. The duo go down into a crouch, attempting to hide themselves as they overhear their conversation. 

“ _ Boat’s away. Word is we’re almost wrapped up.”  _

“ _ Good. I got my girl waiting for me at the FOB.” _

The soldiers keep talking nonsense, Joel turns to look back at her and whispers “We gotta get upstairs.” 

She nods and gestures for him to lead the way. He nods back and starts to slowly crawl past the soldiers that were walking past them and into the tall grass, wanting to use the grass as a cover. They start to drift past the guards by going to the right, they pass a few old trucks that have been overtaken by vines and nature. They quickly come upon a small white medical tent that thankfully doesn’t have soldiers surrounding it. 

They both get up to quickly sprint behind the tent, Ellie gets behind it a second before Joel does. As soon as he gets hidden by the tent they both hear a soldier enter the tent complaining about Scars. Before Joel can say or do anything Ellie enters the small hole that was in the tent, she looks back at him with a look in her eye that says that she’s got this. 

She is covered by a large shipping box and medical table, peeking over Ellie sees the soldier that they both heard standing with their back to her. He turns around and starts to walk out, once his back is to Ellie again she stalks out. 

The man finally leaves the tent and Joel enters through the same hole as her. Ellie takes the lead and crawls forward, she walks past a medical bin that was open and quickly grabs a few spare supplies that she tosses into her bag without a second glance, the duo continue to silently creep forward through the grasses until they come upon a broken window. 

Ellie listens and hears two men discussing the oddities that have been their shift at the hospital, their voices quickly start to move away and become distant. Once the voices are muffled by distance and walls she vaults herself over the wall, Joel following right behind her. They sit crouched behind old crates and boxes, their bodies hidden from one of them men coming back in their direction. 

She looks over at Joel with panic in her eyes, unsure on what to do. Do they stealth kill the man and hope they aren’t seen or heard? Do they stay still and silent and hope that he doesn’t see them? Do they try to run away? 

Joel gives her a look telling her to stay still and hidden, and that he will take care of it. She would feel annoyed at him for not letting her help, but she doesn’t have time. The man walks past their hiding spot, still babbling on about the Scars and their groups, he doesn’t have time to react when Joel grabs him and pulls him down onto the ground with him. The man was silenced by Joel’s hand, his forearm around his throat choking him out. 

The man looks at Ellie with wide eyes and for a second she sees him plead for mercy from her before his eyes roll into the back of his head, Joel having successfully killed him. He rolls out from underneath the body and comes back up in a crouch, she sees him grab a few bullets off of the man’s body before he nods his head indicating that they need to  _ move _ . 

She nods. 

They start to move silently and stealthily through the first floor of the hospital, narrowly evading the sightlines of the soldiers. They can both see the staircase to the second floor, a few abandoned hospital beds in the way. They both silently throw themselves over the first and crawl to the next one, right before they get behind the bed closest to the door they hear a soldier turn around on their heels, having heard or seen them two. 

They go still, Joel caging Ellie in against the small bed they hide behind. He calls something out to his other group but keeps walking away, on high alert, but away. Ellie quickly rushes the door leading to the stairs and tries to push it open enough for Joel, the door budges enough for her but it just. Won't. Open! 

“Intruders!” 

_ Fuck! Shit! I can’t lose Joel! Not now, not when we are so close to finding her! _

“Ellie you need to leave! I’ll find you later!” 

She feels Joel trying to push her through the door, urging her to abandon him. “No! I won’t leave you! We stay together!” 

He lets out a grunt in frustration and full body shoves her through the door, not allowing her to continue arguing. “Find Nora and make her tell you where Abby is, no matter what!” 

Joel pulls the door shut, allowing for Ellie’s instincts to kick in and for her to shove two heavy metal crates against the doors, preventing the double doors from being opened by the soldiers.

_ And by Joel _ . 

She stands still for a few seconds, listening to grunts and gunshots. Even though she knows that  _ technically _ Joel cannot die, the worry of something happening to him becomes too much and something inside of her grips at her lungs and  _ squeezes. _ Leaving her chest tight and difficult to breath. 

A few seconds pass and Ellie recollects herself, she turns around trying to ignore the sounds coming from behind her. She goes towards the dark staircase, turning on her flashlight and taking the steps two at a time. The staircase takes her up two floors, causing the sounds from below her to become even more muffled and quiet. 

Her feet stop at the third floor, the staircase takes her to a set of double doors that thankfully lead to an empty and deserted hallway. 

Green eyes flick back and forth between rooms and hallways before she makes the choice to enter the first room on her right. A groan of disappointment threatens to escape her throat when she see that the only thing in the room is a supply list from the WLF’s that are clearing out the hospital. 

Turning back around she leaves the room and continues down the same hallway, it becoming darker and -- 

_ Is that someone talking?  _

Ellie hears the extremely muffled sounds of people coming from a room to her left, she carefully walks towards it and peaks in. She sees that while the room itself was empty, there is an air duct where the conversation is coming from. 

Without thinking she hoists herself up into the duct and starts crawling through the extremely tight space. She crawls further down, the voices becoming clearer until she nears a turn in the duct, when she can finally hear what they were saying. 

“ _ Maybe if you posted more guards, Abby would still be in her cell and there wouldn’t be that damned trespasser! _ ”

So she knows Abby, Abby who must have just recently been in the hospital. Abby that was in a cell? Ellie shakes her head, she doesn’t have time to ponder  _ why _ exactly Abby’s own people would lock her up. 

“ _ I’m not stupid, you are going to tell us where she it.”  _ A second WLF soldier, most likely a man by how deep the voice was. “ _ When Issac talks to us about this… I’m going to say what I think happened.” _

Again, the name Issac. How many of the WLFS have talked about Issac? 

Finally the feminine voice that is undoubtedly Nora responds. “ _ Knock yourself out. I got work to do and you have a trespasser to catch”  _

The men grumble and complain between each other as they leave, their voices fading away the further they get, and the further Ellie gets in the ducts. She can see the end of the duct leading to her exit, the rusted out vent looking easy to almost silently push out if she were careful enough. 

Ellie does just that, slowly moving the vent door out of her way, not letting it let out a clanging sound. She turns around on her back and pushes herself out of the duct, her legs dangle mid-air as her hands hang onto the top of the vent. 

She releases her hands and falls into a crouch, trying to silence her fall as well as prevent any needless injuries. Ellie stands up and eyes the door a few feet in front of her, she knows Nora has to be in there, she knows that Nora knows where Abby is. She has to. 

Ellie silently pushes the door open and sees the woman in the back left corner, her entrance hidden by the tall shelves that block the woman’s view of her. Nora comes around the corner and Ellie raises her gun to eye level, finger on the trigger. 

“Don’t scream.” 

The black woman, Nora, raises her hands, her face stunned, seeming to recognize her from the mansion. 

  
  


\----

The past few hours (is it really a few if it has almost been eight or nine?) have been very…  _ ood  _ if Nicky were to place any word on it. The girl that they have basically been left behind to babysit has been aloof, him and Joe have only seen her two times. The first in the beginning of the morning when Joel and Ellie basically asked for someone to babysit the girl, and the second only an hour ago when she was running back and forth between the old room with the broken radio and throughout the entire theatre, seeming to be on a hunt for something. 

“So, my love, how many times do you think Andy has killed Joel by now?” The deep voice of his husband drags Nicky out of his thoughts. He just gives a light ‘hum’ in response, not really in the mood to place such bets when the tensions have been so high as of recently. 

Joe, having sensed his unease stops his teasing and looks Nicky in the eyes. Deep brown meeting his own green eyes, asking him the silent question on if he is alright. 

“Yusuf, I am unsure on what is going to happen, Ellie and Joel didn’t really tell us what they are planning on doing. We know what the WLF are like, we know they would come back and get their own revenge.” He pauses, drawing in a breath of air. “It would be a never ending cycle of revenge that I don’t think we should involve ourselves in.” 

Joe bites his lip, his facial expression proving to Nicky that he feels that same way. “I know  _ mi amour _ , I know. Joel is a complicated situation. You and I both know that he isn’t going to leave Ellie, and that Ellie won’t leave Dina. So right now all we can do is try to protect our new family to the best of our own ability.”

All Nicky can do is agree, it’s not as if he can call Andy up and ask her to come back to the base because he is unsure. Nonetheless, he feels useless just sitting in the theatre. Him and Joe are worth more than glorified babysitters. 

Joe gives him another knowing look, the only downside of knowing someone for a near millenia is that you can’t hide anything from one another, and stands up. His hand reached down for his own, Nicky takes the offered appendage and stands up. 

He stumbles forward from the strength that Joe pulled him up and is tugged into a tight hug from his love. Nicky curls his arms around the waist of Joe and tucks his head into the crook of his neck, breathing in the deep and musky scent that has always made Nicky think of home. 

Joe starts to pepper kisses up and down his neck, drawing out small giggles from Nicky’s mouth that if anyone other than Joe heard would be dead. 

“Everything-”  _ kiss _ “will”  _ kiss  _ “be fine.” Joe peels himself away from Nicky, causing the man to give a small uncharacteristic pout up at his husband. Joe however ignores the pout and instead focuses on if his husband registered the words that he said, not only the register but accept them as well. 

When Nicky gives up on pouting and solemnly nods his head in acceptance is when Joe gives Nicky one last kiss on the neck. And then his shoulder, and then his cheek. Joe has to force himself to not give his husband a real kiss, he doesn’t wish to expose the child to anything that they could get up to on accident. 

“Let’s go check up on the kid? Hmm?” 

Nicky nods his head, rolling his eyes at the antics that Joe pulls to put him in good moods. Joe smiles at him and grabs his hand to mock drag Nicky to where Dina has been hiding out. He eventually drops Nicky’s hand in favor of holding the handrail as they make their way up the small and narrow stairway that leads to the room that they have seen Dina enter. 

As they walk up the stairs they hear muffled voices coming from the room, their steps quicken in fear of who those voices are. Nicky moves in front of Joe, his legs moving a tad quicker. 

Nicky shoves the partly open door open all the wall, coming into a dimly lit room with Dina sitting cross legged on the floor. She looks up at him confused, her eyebrows pinched together face stained in grease and dust. 

“What-?” 

Joe cuts her off as he comes in behind Nicky, “Oh! You got the radio to work, nice job kid.” 

She gives him a tilt to her head but smiles. Dina gestures for the couple to sit down across from her, the radio and a marked up map of Seattle. Him and Joe look at each other for a split second and then sit down ever so quickly. Nicky eyes the map in confusion, he sees many different lines and sectors in differateing colors marking them by numbers and names. 

“What do you have here kid?” Joe asks, he sees her nose scrunch up a bit by being called a kid but says nothing about it, knowing that they are old enough to call anyone a kid. She does however perk up a bit in pride, her shoulders go back and her chest puffs up excited to explain what she has been doing. 

“Okay, so.” She sets down the sharpie that she had in her hand. “I fixed the radio, it honestly wasn’t that difficult to fix. There were only a few faulty wires that needed to be rerouted, the circuit board also needed some TLC otherwise it was in pretty good shape.” 

She draws in a breath, pausing a second in her rant. Her face reddens a bit when she realizes that she was rambling about radios to the two immortals. 

“Anyways, I fixed it and found the radio wave that the WLF’s use and heen recording their locations and anything about their future movements.” She looks up at them from the map that she was pointing at each location. “I just recently overheard a few minutes ago that they are planning to attack some ‘Scars’ island tomorrow night, betting on using the storm as cover. They said that they are sending a small group to the Marina to take some boats out of storage. I thought that might be a good place to go to get some information.” 

Nicky looks over at his husband, processing the information that the girl has given them. She is right though, it would be a good way to get information. It would be an even better way to infiltrate them to see where the rest of the group Joel and Ellie have been tracking down are. 

“Nile and Booker won’t be back until later this evening with information from their base, Joel, Ellie, and Andy should be back around the same time as well. We should talk to them to see what they think we should do.” Joe looks over at the kid. “You did good. This is really good information, keep up with it. And if you need anything ask Nicky or I.” 

She gives him a small smile, glad that she is of some help. Not wanting to be a burden on the team now that they know, and now that her nausea has been becoming worse. Dina gives them a nod, understanding that she could ask them for help if she needs it. The couple smile back at her and go to stand up. 

They start walking to the door to give the girl some space, but she stops them with a small squeak of “Wait…” 

They both turn around, curious at the sudden change of demeanor in the girl. 

“Do you think Ellie is okay? I know Joel and Andy are with her but I heard over the radio a few minutes before y’all came in that only two trespassers have been spotted in the hospital. One man and one woman. I'm worried that Ellie was hurt and left behind.” 

Nicky’s heart warms, sympathy for the girl growing ever so bigger. It takes him two and half long strides to get over and kneel down next to the girl. 

“Oh honey, I know already that Joel would never leave her behind. I know even more certainly that Andy wouldn’t let that be an option.” The girl nods, trying to blink away tears at the thoughts and worries that continue to plague her mind. Causing her to panic even more. “If anything, only Andy or Ellie have been spotted. They might have made Ellie stand behind as backup at the hospital so they don’t even know that she is there.” 

The possibility that Ellie could be staying back, safe from the violence in the hospital that she has overheard makes Dina let out a sigh of relief. Even though she knows that Ellie would never stay behind, especially if Joel was involved in the action. 

\-----

The evening that her and Lev returned from the hospital was entirely to hectic for Abby to reflect back on what the  _ fuck  _ she just fought in the basement of the hospital. But this morning? She woke up this morning in a cold sweat thinking about the beast that she fought, the distinct smell of rotting flesh and death makes Abby feel as if she needs to puke just thinking about it. The size of the thing matches nothing she has ever seen, it wasn’t a shambler or a bloater, definitely wasn’t a clicker. 

_ I guess I get why Lev calls them Demons. That only way to explain that thing was a being straight from hell.  _

Abby finally sits up from the crappy sleeping bag that she slept in the night before, she lets out a groan as she stretches her arms out in front of her. Waking up the muscles in her arms after she slept on them. The stretch sends a ripple of pain through her arms, reminding her that she went  _ too hard _ yesterday. 

Abby sighs, knowing that today she most likely won’t have any reprieve in her luck. She crawls out of her sleeping bag, dreading the start of her day knowing that  _ something _ will go wrong because everything in the past week has been fucked over. 

Her fingers undoes and rebraids her hair by pure muscle memory as she walks towards the table to see if they left anything for her to eat. Abby smiles a bit seeing an apple left for her, alongside some bread. 

She snatches the bread and uncermoneously shoves it into her mouth, barely even chewing on the sweet, sweet carbs that life has blessed her with. She holds onto the apple to eat later. 

With her boots already laced up and her hair rebraided there is no reason for her to be standing in the main room, Abby knows that she needs to leave and talk to Owen about what the next step is. 

She makes quick process through the long halls of the aquarium, rounding a corner she hears Lev and Yara arguing. She would be surprised at the girl's quick recovery if she hadn't just spent hours with her younger brother, these kids were built differently and were unworldly resilient. 

“Lev no, you can’t make it. The island is going to be too dangerous to get through. And even if you make it without getting caught we don’t even know where they are holding mom.”

“I can find her!” 

“We broke the rules Lev! There is no way you can get around Haven without getting caught!” 

The girls continue arguing, Abby’s snooping is interrupted by Mel coming through the door just beside Abby. 

“Owen?” 

“Just me Mel.” 

The pregnant woman gives a small ‘hum’ in response, walking over to where her bag lies on a chair. She starts to put away some of the medical tools that Abby retrieved for them. 

“What are they fighting about?” Abby questions, hoping that Mel would know the answer. 

Before Mel can give her an answer Lev lashes out at Yara. “No, fuck you, Yara! I wouldn’t leave you behind!”

Abby looks back over at Mel when she starts talking over the siblings. “Lev doesn’t want to leave Seattle, at least not without their mother.” 

She shifts nervously on her feet, unsure and nervous about where this conversation is going. Abby knows that Mel has been pissed off at her since Jackson, she hates what Abby did to  _ Joel _ , hates what they ended up doing to his brother, to the kid that came in with  _ Joel’s daughter,  _ the  _ immune _ girl. 

“Owen invited them to come to Santa Barbra with us.”  _ Us _ , Mel said  _ us _ , does ‘’ include Abby as well? 

“That… is very Owen.” Is her own lame reply. “I figured you’d’ve talked him out of going by now.” 

Mel shakes her head, “Actually I’m going with them… and uh, you could come as well if you want to leave the  _ Wolves  _ behind that is.” 

Abby draws in a gasp, an almost silent gasp but there nonetheless. She was so worried that Mel was going to pull some bullshit of ‘not if you come with’. At this point Abby doesn’t think she could leave the kids behind, even if that meant letting Owen and Mel take them far away from here, take them to safety. 

“I… of course I’ll come with.” 

“Good,” Mel takes a step towards Abby. “But you need to get your shit together Abby. No more revenge plots, no more going off the rails and not caring about the people around you. No more of this empty version of yourself you’ve been since we’ve returned.” 

Abby nods in agreement, knowing what Mel said was right. She has been a shell of herself since Jackson, she hasn’t been caring about the people around her, she hasn’t been worried about the consequences of her actions. The realization of how  _ fucked up _ she has been for god knows how long causes her to shrink back in shame.

“You want to do right by these kids? You need to get your shit together before you screw their lives over too.” Mel shoulders her small backpack, and turns and leaves out of the door adjacent to the one she entered from, most likely looking for Owen. 

Against her control, tears start to well up in Abby’s eyes. She turns around to face the tank behind her and tries to collect her racing thoughts. She knows everything Mel said is true, and she would have been valid if she said worse, hell, Abby has been thinking worse about herself. She knows that she fucks up everyone’s life that she cares about, that she drives them away from her, that she  _ hurts  _ them. 

She has to wipe a tear that slipped past her barriers, she doesn’t do it fast enough because she hears the timid sound of Yara’s voice. “Abby?” 

_ Fuck _

Trying to compose herself enough from whatever emotional turmoil hell that was she spins on her heels to talk to Yara. The girl is wearing an old and ratty (but clean) otter shirt no doubt from the souvenir shop, her jacket tied off where her left arm had to be amputated. “How’s your arm?” 

“It’s better than it was last night…” 

Abby takes a few careful steps forward, trying to look around the small girl. “Lev coming around?” 

“He will.” Yara sharply responds, a small bit of left over anger still in her voice. Abby gives a hum in response, stuffing her hands in her pockets suddenly feeling awkward. “Would you mind helping me look for him? He’s pretty worked up.” 

Abby gives her an affirmative, Yara turns around and starts walking in the direction that she said Lev ran off in. She follows a few feet behind Yara, giving the girl some space and unsure on how she should look for the kid. Does she call out his name? Split up from Yara? Get Alice to help? 

A shrill whistle causes a gut reaction in her that she itches for a gun or some weapon to defend herself against scars. Thankfully she realizes just as quickly her body wanted to respond that she caught herself. 

They continue calling out for Lev, hoping that he will respond and the two girls could find him. Abby follows Yara closely as they walk, trying to draw up a way that she could ask Yara why Lev doesn’t want to go to Santa Barbra, and what exactly they were arguing about. Her curiosity burning her from the inside out. 

“Why doesn’t Lev wanna go to Santa Barbra?” 

She sees a small falter in Yara’s steps ahead of her, her question either catching her off guard or the exhaustion of her past few days catching up. Abby would place money on her reaction to her question. 

“He’s worried about our mom. And what they are doing to her because she helped us escape.” 

“Is he worried they will kill her?” 

Yara lets out a small huff, as if what Abby said was funny. “No, no. They can’t kill her. He’s worried about the type of uh…  _ punishment _ they will do to her. Worried that she won’t be able to get out on her own.” 

“Can’t kill her?”  _ The fuck? _

“I uh… I don’t know if I can tell you. I’m sorry Abby.” 

Now it was her turn to falter in her footsteps, she however continues following Yara. Abby wasn’t truly paying attention to Yara, so caught up in her thoughts about  _ what  _ exactly she meant by  _ can’t die _ , that she almost runs into the girl when she comes to a complete stop. 

“Huh?”  _ Oh _ . It’s Alice, the dog lying happily trying to bask in the miniscule amount of sunlight coming in from the skylight. The sound of her toy squeaking every so often. Abby walks forward and gives the german shepherd a good scratch behind her ears as she takes away the toy from her mouth. 

Abby knows the kids are scared of Alice, it makes sense. These kids have been brainwashed by scars to believe that the  _ Wolves  _ are bad, and that their dogs are bad. Even more fair is that they have probably been hunted down and attacked by dogs that look almost identical to Alice. 

She turns to Yara, the toy in her hand, “Do you wanna throw it for her?” 

The girl nervously shakes her head ‘no’, Abby shrugs, knowing to give the girl time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is a hefty chapter, we got immortal wifes reunited finally!! Yay!! I seriously cried when i wrote that part. It was super emotional for everyone involved lol. I thought about on which pov i should write it from and i decided that quynh’s would be best because of her ptsd cause ~iron maiden~  
> I have set up a lot plot points that are coming up, i think it will also be safe to say that the next upcoming chapters are going to be getting longer and with more pov switches, if the amount of switches bothers anyone please let me know.  
> Much love!!
> 
> Translations : these are all from google translate so please correct me if i am wrong  
> không còn nữa. Tôi không thể - no more. I can not. Vietimesse  
> cor meum, omnia mea - My heart, my everything latin


	19. take my pride, take my life, take my body but don't take the ones that are close to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from bad bad things ajj

The red, flashing lights overhead seem to make the time pause for a second as she stalks towards Nora. The sounds of the left-behind WLF’s screaming and fighting off infected are background noise compared to the rapid beating of her blood circulating in her ears. 

She draws in a large shaky breath beforesushes open the door that she knows Nora has hidden herself behind. The distinct dust like taste that the spores leave on her tongue makes her want to gag for the first time. She has inhaled spores so many times for longer durations but this time… this time she is sick to her stomach. 

Or maybe that's what she has to do. 

The door creaks open and Ellie squeezes herself in through the small gap that the rusted over hinges allowed to open. She hears the coughing of the woman choking on the spores, the rattling of the sealed door that she is desperately trying to open. Throwing her whole body into it. 

“Hi, Nora.” The threat of violence evident in her voice, causing the woman to react and throw herself again against the unmoving door that has now revealed itself to have been sealed shut by the fungus crawling viciously up the walls. 

“Oh god, oh god” 

Ellie’s feet start walking her towards the coughing woman on their own. Nora pants, unable to catch her breath because of the spores quickly setting in and making her sick. Her body looks decrepit already, her dark skin illuminated by the dark red light. 

She finally steps close enough to Nora, the woman has an ounce of fight in her because she throws herself at Ellie with a metal pipe. Ellie very quickly wrestles the woman down, tearing the pipe that she tried to use as a weapon against her. 

Nora tries to grab the pipe back, the girl on her hands and knees, but Ellie swings the pipe at her with an efficiency that Joel would be proud of. She can barely hear the snap of Nora’s arm breaking over the cry of pain from her. 

She lies there coughing, trying to cradle her broken arm. 

Ellie paces back and forth, unable to stay still, adrenaline pumping through her veins. 

“Where’s Abby?” 

The woman ignores her question, “You’re breathing spores.” Ellie doesn’t bother to respond, lacking the energy to do so. “You're here.” 

Ellie stops finally, she looks closer at the woman in confusion. “You a firefly?” 

“There are no,” she coughs again, the spores becoming even worse for her already ruined lungs. “No more fireflies.” 

_ Fuckfuckfuck of course she is a fucking firefly. Is that why they came after Joel? Because of the hospital and what he did and took away from them?  _

She paces back and forth, wanting desperately to wring her hands together, to run her fingers through her short hair. “Where’s Abby?”

“I’m fucking dead anyway. Why would I tell you anything?” 

Ellie can’t help but huff, this woman should be smarter than this. She should know that Ellie can make this  _ so _ much worse. She squats down, using the pipe as a way to balance herself as she stares the woman down. 

“Because I can make it quick.” Nora breathes hard, fear sitting in her eyes. “Or I can make it  _ so _ much worse.” 

The woman starts crying, trying to collect herself and thoughts. Trying to come up with a way to spare herself from the painful death that she will no doubt meet. “Think about what he did. About how many people are dead because of him?” 

She doesn’t think about them, Ellie just stands up and lightly kicks Nora’s foot. “It’s your last chance.” 

The wounded woman tries to stand up but quickly gives up on that endeavor, she instead sits up slightly straighter. “I won’t give up my friend.” 

_ Fuck! Why can’t she do the  _ sensible _ thing?  _

Ellie pants, her face contorting, is she seriously going to do this? Is she seriously going to torture this woman that is already knocking on deaths door for killing Tommy? For killing Jesse? For killing  _ Joel _ . 

No, no she can’t. She can’t forgive her, this woman spat on the dead body of Tommy. This woman was part of the group that killed Jesse, her best friend. The guy alongside Dina that made her feel welcomed and accepted in Jackson, the guy that even with the confusion of Dina and who liked who would sit by her side if she wanted to talk? 

She has to do this, she has to find out where Abby is. She needs to end this, for her, for Dina, and even for Joel. 

_ God he is going to be so pissed if he finds out what I’m aboutta do…  _

Ellie brings the first hit down on Nora’s face in a quick movement, not allowing herself to hesitate any longer. This is something that needs to get done, something that Joel would have already been done with if they didn’t get seperated. 

_ No matter what. He said to get this information no matter what.  _

The pipe connects to her face with a loud and bloody hit, sending the into the ground with an even louder scream of pain. Her blood sprays up onto Ellie’s facing, missing her eyes by a fraction. 

She barely flinches. 

\----

Nile and Booker arrive at the theatre before Joel, Ellie, and Andy do. Which wasn’t nessescaily expected but wasn’t a surprise. The sky is dark and threatening an all encompassing storm that raises the hairs on Niles arm in suspense of what it means. 

When they arrive the theatre is silent, which causes both of their tired and beaten bodies to become alert again and hold their weapons prepared. Very quickly though they hear the familiar sounds of Nicky and Joe, and an additional unfamiliar but recognizable voice that is Dina coming from a room up a few stairs. 

They both relax, Nile let out an exhausted sigh. Just wanting to find somewhere to crash and sleep for at least a few uninterrupted hours. She is smart enough though to know that because of the frantic and continuous sounds of the three becoming clearer the further up the staircase the couple go. 

Not a couple. Just Nile and Booker. Two friends. 

“So they are planning on going around here to then get to marina…” 

“No, I thought I heard them say they were going to come through this way…” 

Nile is the first to step in through the partially open door, the sound of it opening all the wall causing Nicky to instinctively stand up in front of Joe and the kid, hand near his weapon ready to draw it in case of a threat. He instantly relaxes when he sees Nile, his hand drops and he moves forward to pull her into a small hug. Undoubtedly glaring at Booker over her shoulder, she can practically  _ feel _ the cold look that he is giving to the french-man. 

“Did you guys get any important intel?” Nile nods and steps back and looks over at the map that the three were sitting around. Her eyes widen when she sees the marks made on it, the notes similar to the intel they received. 

“Seems that y’all have been busy.” Dina looks up at Nile with a light blush dusting her cheeks, the pregnant girl looks exhausted. She gestures for her and Booker to sit down so they can compare notes. 

Nile follows the girls instructions, she drags over an overturned orange crate and plops herself down ontop of it. The only one out of their group having the thought to use something as a makeshift chair. She spots Joe giving her a small and playful glare, upset that she thought of that and neither of them did. 

Booker quickly follows her down, however he instead of grabbing a crate or something to use as a makeshift chair, he sits down to the left of her and almost leans his entire body on legs. Nile spares him a quick glance, it being her turn for her face to be dusted with a blush. 

She quickly tries to hide it and just pushes those emotions down, no time for  _ that _ . 

“I ended up fixing the radio that has been sitting up here and collecting dust, she barely needed any intense fixes.” Dina settles down, her legs sprawling out and causing Booker to scoot ever so closer to Nile to allow the pregant woman room to stretch. Nile would laugh a bit at the look that the girl sends to Booker, trying to be coy. Unfortunately she is in a room with immortals that have lived longer than she has been alive so they see the look right away. 

Nicky and Joe elect to ignore the look and subsequently Booker's reaction of becoming embarrassed and sending a glare right back to the girl. 

“Did they mention the attack they are planning on the Seraphites tomorrow?” The girl nods and points to a few different locations on the map. 

“I’m assuming that you also heard about that, they are planning on attacking them from three different angles,” her fingers drag along the map from three different vantage points drawing towards the island with the Seattle space needle. “The one closest to us would be the Marina that they are going to send two teams ahead to retrieve some of their boats.” 

Nile and Booker knew about the attack, they however were not able to overhear where they were planning on attacking or reconvening at. Unfortunately they were spotted and had to flee. 

“We didn’t hear anything about the marina?” Booker looks up at Nile, confusion sparkling his eyes. 

“No, we were caught before we were able to over hear anything along those lines.” 

“Oh…” 

“Yeah, ‘Oh’.” Nile nudges Booker’s body with her leg, he seems to lean into her touch a small bit. Something that Nile is perfectly content with herself to ignore yet still let happen. “I wonder why we were caught, hmm?” 

The Frenchman lets out an undignified huff but looks back at the other three. “Tell us about this Marina.” 

  
  
  
  


“ _ Nora and the female tresspaser fell into the lower-level of the hospital! Everyone mask-up and prepare to go down!”  _

The muffled voice of the soldier over the radio causes all five of them to stop in the middle of Dina explaining to them the importance of the Marina. 

The tense silence unbearably loud surrounding the group as they wait for another message from the soldiers, anxious for what may be going at the hospital that there were supposed to be  _ three _ people, and they have only been mentioning  _ one.  _

_ “Go! Go! GO!”  _

_ “Why are the lights on?” _

“ _ Keep an eye out, they have to be down here somewhere.”  _

_ “We got the male tresspaser cornered up here!”  _

_ “How many are you seeing?” _

_ “Just the two! One man and one girl from the looks of it. Jerry got a good look when she had Nora!”  _

Nile sits back and blinks, unsure of what exactly is going on. The chatter from the radio becomes background noise, the thoughts on what the hell is happening and on  _ where _ Andy is. Booker, Joe, and Nicky all have the same expression on their faces, a dumbfounded type of confusion. 

Dina on the other hand is biting her lip, the pressure most likely close to drawing blood. Her eyes are wide and she darts from looking at the radio, to the map, to Joe and Nicky, and then back again. Her head is an ever moving swivel. 

Joe, ever the optimist, is the first to speak. “At least they don’t have Ellie cornered. It seems that she has been elusive with them.” 

Dina just nods, a blank stare on her stark white face. 

“Andy might have gotten side tracked by something else…” 

“But that doesnt make sense, Andy wouldnt purposefully become distracted when she was tasked to protect someone?” Nile argues. 

Nicky heaves a breath, his eyes flickering between each member sitting on the floor until he drags himself to look at Nile. 

“There is nothing we can do until they get back here. We won’t make it to the hospital in time and we don’t know where Andy went. She may have gotten separated and is instead headed her way here right now. The best thing for us to do is to sit and wait so she doesn’t come back to an unprotected and empty base.” 

\----

No matter how many times he takes a bullet to the shoulder, or knee, stomach, really anywhere it always hurts. Even if his body automatically heals the wound and pushes the bullet out, his brain tells him he needs to find somewhere to hide to fix the injury. These instincts are impossible to fight when he is backed into a corner, blood drying into his clothes and hair. 

His tongue darts out of his mouth to instinctively wet his lips, he tastes the coppery tones of his own blood. These moments bring him all the way back to what started this whole journey, a cold and dark mansion with his brother alongside him. For the last time. 

Another bullet into his left shoulder brings Joel out of his dark thoughts, instead causing him to become angrier at these soldiers preventing him from finding Ellie. He’s heard over their radios and by them yelling that she has been discovered, and that they have gone to the lower levels of the hospital that are over run by infected and spores. 

Joel knows that spores won’t infect her, but the infected  _ can  _ and  _ will  _ kill her. 

He grabs the soldier that shot him in the shoulder and turns him around to use him as a human shield. Those injuries may not kill him but they sure as hell are annoying and wastes his time as he tries to find his  _ goddamned  _ daughter! 

“Put him down trespasser!” Some soldier yells out from behind an old bed they are hiding behind. Joel wants to yell out ‘Fuck you!’ but he has no reason too. He is a fifty-two year old man who will apparently live for  _ much _ longer and has no reason to entertain this man that he will kill in only a few seconds. 

Kill him he does, he pulls the man that he is using as a shield closer to his body by his neck, causing him to choke out in bloody pain, already halfway on death's door from the injuries he aquired by being Joel’s shield. He uses the revolver in his back pocket and head shots the soldier in front of him when he pops out to try and get a shot in on him. He falls, the man he has in a chokehold goes down as well, finally losing the last grip of life he had.

The dead man's body drops with a loud thud, Joel steps over the body but stops when he hears the sound of the man’s radio. He turns around instantly and leans over to rip the small radio off of the belt, fortunately the instrument was not injured in the fight. 

“ _ The girl trespasser was seen without a mask! Nora and her are a lost cause, turn back!” _

So, they know that Ellie went down without a mask, and apparently the woman they’ve been hunting down did as well. Good, his girl has an advantage down there. Now he needs to find her, needs to either find where she went or where to meet her. He figures that it would be easier to try and track her instead of figure out a way to meet up somewhere. 

Joel walks further down the hallways, hoping that he will see something that leads him further down the hospital. Hoping that someone over the radio will say something that leads him towards Ellie. Unfortunately the radio gives him nothing, just a bunch of chatter between the soldiers about where  _ they _ are going to reconven. 

Well, knowing where the soldiers are could be beneficial  _ if  _ he can find Ellie. 

He comes to a full stop when he sees an abandoned axe lying stuck in a dead man's skull. The thought runs through his mind on if he could benefit from the axe and he decides to go for it. The axe looks well made and sturdy as if it could last him more than a few hits like most melee weapons he has found in this life.

He rips the axe out of the skull with an oddly satisfying squelch, blood oozes out of the dead man's head. He takes a step back trying to prevent getting even more blood on his shoes. The attempt was met with failure as the puddle expands and gets on his boots. 

Joel huffs out a sigh but gives up and wipes the blood off of the axe on the man's clothing that he pulled the axe out of. He quickly straps the axe onto his bag and moves on, the nerves of needing to find his daughter overwhelming his entire being. 

He continues walking.

The dark hallways continue to be empty, a stark difference from what he fought his way through. A worrying difference. 

A dark sign catches his eye, the writing faded but still legible. The lower floors, this is the way to where Ellie drew the soldiers towards. An elevator shaft. 

Joel strides up to the elevator and pries the doors open, praying that he can get down a few floors with the shaft. He almost sings praise to a God he no longer believes in when he sees the shaft leads straight down two or three floors. A drop that he would normally be extremely hesitant to think about no longer matter. If he breaks a few bones they’ll heal up just as quickly as they broke. 

He slides his mask on, he may not die but hell if he wants to feel that shit in his lungs, seeing the spores creeping up from the floors below him. Once his mask is situated on correctly he grips his revolver, his ever trust worthy weapon. 

He jumps. 

“Fuck.” He grunts out as he lands, even bending his knees as he goes down doesn’t help his legs and ankles from breaking. He lies there for a second, allowing his body to painfully pull and snap itself back together. 

The bones crack and fuse, drawing more groans out of him, that drop having injured him more than he thought. He looks around as the final moments that his body heals and sees red flashing lights, he hears the faint groans of infected and the even fainter sound of a high pitched,  _ feminine  _ voice screaming in tortured pain. 

“Ellie!” 

Joel pushes himself onto his almost healed feet, giving out slightly by putting weight on his ankles. His pain doesn’t matter however, when his babygirl needs him. He rushes to where he heard the scream, shoving himself through doors after doors. Not looking where he is going or at the attention he attracts. 

The infected that get in his way are quickly cut down by his recently acquired axe. He barely spares a glance or thought when he sees soldiers fighting infected off of themselves. Or the soldiers withering on the floor, masks broken or torn off. Their bodies going through the process of infection begging for mercy. 

Their lives don’t matter when he continues to hear the screams becoming closer the more he runs. He almost falters in his steps when the screams suddenly stop, almost as if it was cut off. 

_ Fuck!  _ “Ellie!” 

He runs even harder and throws himself through a set of double doors. 

Joel steps into the room and freezes. The smell is so strong that it comes through his mask, the smell of blood. Of a lot of blood. He sees a bent over figure, small in stature and an ever so familiar profile. 

Ellie 

He rushes forward and slides onto his knees to be on the same level as her. He spares one look at the bloodied and crumpled figure of no other than Nora before he pulls his babygirl into his arms. 

“Oh Ellie. I’m so sorry” He rocks her back and forth in his arms. She remains still and numb, he would think her dead if her body was not warm to the touch and if he did not feel her shuddering breaths. “You shouldn’t’ve ‘ad to do that babygirl. ’s okay.” 

He feels her finally start to react, her hands come up and grips his flannel. Her finger digs into his chest and she starts sobbing. Her whole body shaking and unable to stop herself, her breaths become shallower and uneven, causing him to then worry about her sending herself into an asthma attack. 

He unfortunately had too much experience with asthma with his daughter Sarah. The poor girl loved her sports but she always needed him to be on the sidelines with her inhaler. His experience with Sarah causes him to be even more worried about the gasping girl in his arms now. 

He doubts that there is quick access to an inhaler from where they are sitting collapsed. 

“Baby, you need to breathe.” She nods against his chest, she however doesn’t even out her breathing. “No, no. Ellie. Breathe with me. In and out.” 

He takes deep breaths, trying to encourage the girl curled against his chest to do the same thing. She slowly starts to copy him, her choppy breathing thankfully evening out slowly and without her becoming worse. 

“In,” He sucks in a big gulp of air, the girl copies him. “And out.” They repeat the breathing exercises until she finally starts to even out her breathing. Joel lets out an almost silent sigh in relief. 

“You shouldn’t’ve done that. I’m so sorry.” 

“She…” Ellie whispers. “She wouldn’t tell me where Abby was. She was dying and she wouldn’t say. I… I had to make her.” 

God, Joel wants to rewind time. He shouldn’t’ve let them seperate, she shouldn't've felt that she needed to commit such an inhumane act of violence for him. He was supposed to do that, he was the one that has done enough to make any grown man or woman cry. 

The radio he has attached to his belt goes off, “ _ We need to be sure to run a perimeter to find the male trespasser. Issac is going to be pissed if we don’t bring that one in.”  _

A series of affirmatives and agreements are copied in different voices on the radio. Without saying anything Joel maneuvers Ellie and picks her up, the movement reminding him of the unfortunate winter. 

The girl in his arms lets out a whine, not yet wanting to move and not wanting him to carry her. He shushes her, quietly explaining that they need to leave and that the WLF are looking for them. 

She gives him a push on his chest and he gives in, knowing that she is older and doesn’t need to be coddled. He sets her on her feet which she wobbles a bit but stays upright. The girl turns around and grabs her bag that Joel completely overlooked alongside a blood stained and marked up map. 

Ellie looks at him with such an empty gaze in her eyes that makes him want to cry and pull her closer to him, knowing this isn’t how this was supposed to go, how this was supposed to end up. 

\----

They arrive back at the theatre much later than they anticipated, the hassle of getting around the soliders even more difficult with a two bloodied messes. Thankfully Joel found an abandoned motorboat that had just enough juice to get them away from the hospital quickly. 

The motoboat was only able to get the two far enough that they didn’t risk being immediately spotted by the WLF’s, and it thankfully also got them past the dreaded Seraphite filled forest. Not wanting to deal with that again, especially with the state that Ellie is in. 

She stares out into the dark abyss that is Seattle at night, rain threatening to fall ontop of them. Her feet drag behind her, the thin soles catching on stray pieces of rock in the concrete. 

Ellie knows that Joel keeps sending her worried looks, he may think he is good at hiding his emotions. And he might be. But she can see the worry and concern oozing out of him, almost creating a fog around him that she can see. 

She flinches when the loud crack of thunder followed by the bright flash of lightning striking. Everything around her seems to blur into one singular event that her brain can’t seem to process. 

“How you doing kiddo?” 

She gives out a small hum, to let the man know that she heard him but not giving him any further indication about how she is doing. She hears a distant grunt coming from him, confirming that he has heard her. 

They really are alarmingly alike. 

Green eyes finally start to focus on what is ahead of her, she see’s the large sign of the theatre coming into focus. Her body let’s out a sigh of relief, ready to fall into her girlfriends arms and just  _ sleep _ . 

_ But you don’t deserve it. What you did to that woman? How could you think you deserve Dina? Deserve to be in her and  _ Jesse’s  _ child?  _

_ All you’re going to do is hurt them, you’re going to put them in danger. There is nothing good that you would bring to their life. You say what you did to Nora, what you could do to Dina.  _

Ellie is snapped out of her spiral of thoughts by a strong hand gripping her bicep. Her eyes refocus on the building in front of her. The doors slightly illuminated by the lights ran by the generator. 

Her breathing is uneven, coming out shakily. 

Joel looks down at her with a small grimace on his face, knowing that when they go in there will be an overwhelming amount of questions. Questions about where Andy is, about why they are covered in blood,  _ whoose  _ blood it is, what information they gathered? 

Ellie brings her hand up and lightly knocks on the door, hoping that Dina or the others would hear her almost silent rasp on the door. They stand there awkwardly for what feels like hours to her trauma-addled brain, but what was probably only a few minutes before the door is thrown open. 

Dina stands in front of her, her beautiful eyes blown wide. She stares Ellie down and looks her up and down with worry. Ellie doesn’t recquine the look that her girlfriend gives her however, because she stands in front of her like an actual Angel. 

The warm lighting from the theatre casts a shadow on Dina’s face that causes Ellie to just stare at her absolute angelic beauty. Everything around her goes silent, she can somewhat register Dina pulling her into the building. She can hear a mutted version of Joel explaining what happened. 

The absolute goddess in front of her brings her hand up to Ellie’s blood stained face, a wet cloth in her hand. She feels the damp and cool fabric softly wipe across her face. Ellie can only focus on the warmth of Dina’s eyes burrowing into her soul.

Her mouth opens but Ellie can only hear a muffled voice. She tilts her head in confusion, why would this goddess in front of her just mouth something? Surely she knows that she can talk to her. 

Finally everything comes crashing back down on her. The sounds of everyone around her, including Dina. Including the Immortals yelling and arguing with Joel about something… 

Most likely about Andy and how she… is missing. 

God, everything is so overwhelming. 

It's so much, the lights become brighter. Dina’s warm hand on her becomes freezing, Joel’s voice starts booming around her. The accented english from Nicky rushes over her and her senses. The usually smooth and soothing voice of Joe throws a punch into her, Booker and Nile’s voice seem to back hand her one after the other. 

Her breathing starts to pick up again, similar to how it was after she… after she… after she did  _ that thing _ . 

Her chest hurts and her vision becomes blurry again, this time from tears welling up in her eyelids. 

Dina gently pulls her up and starts to guide her back into the room that they slept in the night before. Ellie’s feet follows Dina’s instructions without using her thoughts, just unbridadled instinct. 

The door closes behind them with a light bang, the sound was enough for her to flinch into her girlfriends strong arms. 

She feels the soft and plush couch that they slept on the night before as her girlfriend slowly lowers her down. Ellie tilts her head up and slowly blinks up at Dina. 

“Arms up.” Ellie slowly breathes, trying to not cry, she slowly brings her arms up to painfully take off her stained and bloodied and no longer white tee-shirt. Dina helps her take it off, not wanting Ellie to strain herself. 

Her shirt comes off, leaving her only in her jenas and the almost ruined bandage that was covering the bite mark that she received the night before hand. 

Pain flares up her right shoulder, the fall into the lower hospital having wreaked havoc on her body. She lets out a small whine in pain. 

Dina walks around her slowly, Ellie doesn’t bother to track her movements. 

She feels the couch dip behind her, indicating that Dina sat behind her. She feels the cold and damp cloth gently touch one of the undoubtedly many injuries littering her back. 

“I… I made her talk.” 

Her hands come up to her face, unable to fully gather what it exactly was that she has done. Everything afterwards has been  _ numb _ , completely and utterly numb and painless. She rubs her stained hands down her face, trying to clear her mind, to go back to the empty headspace that she was in. 

“Hey…” Dina starts, not knowing how to comfort her girlfriend. “It’s okay.”

Dina sets the cloth down and slowly drapes herself over Ellie’s back, trying to be mindful of the injuries that she sustatianed in the past day. She rests her head on her shoulder, her lips facing inwards. Hoping to give the girl an ounce of comfort. 

Ellie brings her arms up and grasps at the arms that are wrapped around her neck, Dina’s presence being the one thing anchoring her to this plane of existence. 

“I don’t want to lose you.” 

Dina pulls Ellie closer to her chest and sways them a bit. She leans into her ear to whisper her response. 

“Good.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think it is safe to say that i most likely will not update next week, chapter 20 isnt done yet and i have unfortunately been unmotivated to write recently. im posting this chapter now instead of waiting because i know the last one left off at a bit of a cliff hanger and this one is semi-better. 
> 
> so much love to every reader. to the ones the comment on every chapter and the loyal ones that come back for every chapter. i love yall so unbelievably much.


	20. wayfaring stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title taken from wayfaring stranger, by johnny cash ALSO look up Troy Baker singing wayfaring stranger. its an absolutely amazing thing to watch and listen to!

The next morning Joel wakes with a groan. 

His body may not be sore anymore, but the turmoil that happened last night was enough to make any grown man sore the next day. 

If he were to guess, he was only able to catch only a few hours of sleep before his internal clock woke him up. Him and Ellie having arrived back at the theatre late in the night. Both of them are unlikely to have fallen asleep as soon as they arrived as well. 

Thankfully, Dina was able to pull Ellie away from the rest of the group. Sparing her from having to recount the events of the night. He knows that what she had to do, what he  _ let  _ her do, will forever be a burden on her. Will forever haunt her at night. 

Unsurprisingly the immortals were not too happy with the fact that not only did they come back covered in blood, but they arrived without Andy in tow, without any knowledge of where the woman could be. Joel thought that for certain the woman would have gotten away and returned to the theatre in her own time. 

When Joel revealed how long they have been separated to the immortals, they began to ask even more questions. How long have they been separated? How many of the Seraphites there were? Where exactly did it happen? Where could she be if she wasn't at the theatre? 

Standing up from the couch that he claimed as his, Joel looks around and sees that the Seattle sky has welcomed a dark overcast. A warning of what is to come. 

His ears pick up the light morning chatter from the others in the building. Murmurs and whispers to one each other. He leans over to the right side of the couch and grabs his boots to lace up, his face scrunches up in a small grimace when he feels the sticky residue of dried blood left on the laces. 

He tried to clean his boots and clothes from the night before, but water can only get you so far. He doesn't even want to imagine the amount of blood that Ellie and Dina had to get off of herself and her clothing. He had to throw away his flannel, otherwise he would have risked smelling of blood and guts for the next few weeks. That scent sticks to you and doesn’t let go.

He grabs his bag and swings it over his shoulders, he grimaces when he thinks about the injuries that Ellie must have gained from the night before. The chase alongside with all the other fighting they went through had to be hard on her. Especially with the healing bite on her arm. 

“Hey Joel.” The deep voice that belongs to Joe comes through clearerr, yet still muffled, through the door. “Nicky, Booker, Nile and I are about to start talking about what the plan is for this morning. I think Ellie and Dina are still asleep so we should be good.” 

Instead of answering, Joel pushes himself through the door. Joe steps back, not necessarily in surprise, but shocked at how quickly Joel was up and moving. The younger man looks at the other with a glance of regret, feeling terrible about what may have happened to Andy. Joe just nods and instead leads the way to the other guard members. 

Nicky, Nile, and Booker all sit around a hilly-billy fireplace, an old metal trashcan turned into a do-it-yourself furnace. A steady hum alongside the fact that the dim lights are on means that they are currently using up the generator. Joel follows Joe and sits across the couple, something that he doesn’t quite understand. 

These two have been married? Together? Dating? For a thousand years? Joel could barely manage Sarah’s mother for the nine months after they found out she was pregnant, he couldn’t imagine hundreds of years. 

The two slightly curl in on one another, Joe subtly wraps an arm around Nicky's waist who leans in. Joel’s attention diverts from the established couple to the two that have been skirting around each other the past few days since they met up. Joel elects to ignore their ages as he mentally refers to the two  _ un _ established couple as kids. 

_ However Nile may actually be younger than me… they did say her first death was a year or so before the outbreak. She only looks to be around mid-twenties. How odd that would be if I was actually older than her… huh  _

The two yearning children continue to stare at each other, turning away when the other looks at them. A never ending cycle of two kids that don’t know how to deal with feelings, not that Joel can truly judge emotional constipation. 

The young woman clears her throat, drawing the attention of the other two men. “Booker and I were thinking that we should send a group to the Marina to scout out to see if Andy or Abby are nearby.” 

“What about the aquarium?”

Nile sends a small glare at Joel for interrupting her, a glare that Ellie would be envious of. “I was getting to that.” Joel nods, Nile continues without stopping. “Anyways, I think it would also be beneficial if we sent a group to the aquarium. One thing I am big on is that no one should be alone. There could be infected or other groups to deal with. And we should avoid unnecessary deaths.” 

“Nicky and I thought that we could go to the marina.” Suggests Joe, the Italian next him nods in agreement. Joel lets out a hum in agreement, he may not know the couple that well yet but separating them doesn’t sound like the best of ideas. 

“I’ll do the aquarium.” The others look at him, not surprised at his decision to go directly to where Abby could be. The target of his hunt. “Long as Ellie stays here I don’t care who comes with.” 

Booker looks at Joel with bewilderment in his facial expression, he has spent the most time with him, Ellie, and Dina and he knows that both him and the girl vehemently go against a suggestion of them separating. “She did too much in the hospital. I’m not allowing her to do more. She needs to stay here with Dina and one of y’all.” 

Joel stares Booker down, knowing the man will say what Joel himself knows, daring him to suggest what he is thinking. Obviously the man has no self preservation (not as if that is a surprise however), “Joel, I know that you know your daughter more than any of us. But I have spent time with you guys and I know she won’t let you leave without her.” 

The newest Guard member swallows a lump in his throat, “That’s why I’m going to leave without telling her.” 

The others go silent, unsure on what to say. Thankfully Booker awkwardly speaks up. “I could go with you? You and I know how to fight together already and Ellie may feel better knowing that you are with someone that she knows versus one of the others…” He pauses and looks over at Nile with a grimace. “Sorry, no offense…” 

The kid cracks a smile and starts laughing. As soon as she starts to laugh Booker's face illuminates a few degrees, glad that he didn’t make Nile feel bad. “No… no” She giggles a bit more, “No uh, I completely get it. Ellie reminds me of Andy, so trust is important to her.” 

Joel bites back a wince at the mention of Andy, still feeling immensely guilty about becoming separated from her, but nods in agreement to Nile observation about Ellie. 

“Yeah, would you be willing to stay back and keep an eye on the girls? I don’t want Ellie to run off and if someone else was here she may be held back from following me.”

\-----

“There’s the marina.” The constant downpour of rain fogs the view of the marina, however Abby and Yara are still able to spot the masts and roof of the building they needed to find. The older woman turns back to look at the amazingly strong girl. “How you doin’?” 

Yara stares off in the distance, her gaze never wavering from the marina. “I’m good.” 

She starts to walk forward, her head not turning away from their destination until she is in front of Abby. “... Okay.” 

Abby stands back for a few seconds, double checking her weapons, unsure of what to expect when they arrive.

“Do wolves use this place?” 

The cool wind bites at Abby’s exposed skin, causing a shiver to run down her spine. She stands up straighter and loosely holds her automatic. “We dock some of our boats there.” 

Without waiting Abby walks forwards towards the stairs, wanting to get to the marina as soon as possible. Hoping to avoid the infected that she knows resides nearby. The high amount alongside the distance of the infected meant that the WLF did not feel as if it was needed to truly clear out the infected. 

“Okay…” Abby looks back at Yara, double checking that the girl was doing good. When she gives a small side smile the bigger woman turns back around and starts to quickly jog down the steps. 

She makes it down a few flights with no problem until she comes upon a broken and destroyed staircase. She immediately shivers and becomes dizzy, the day before did not help her vertigo. 

“Woah… I am not making that.” 

Frustrated, Abby turns back around and just shakes her head no to Yara. The girl visibility deflates at the prospect of finding an alternative way downwards. The girl steps aside and allows for Abby to walk past her and back up the staircase. 

The blonde sees as she turns the corner and sees the gaping hole in the wall that would be where a previous elevator would have resided. She peeks her head in and sees that the elevator rests just underneath the door, making only a foot or so drop from the ledge. A drop that Abby is  _ fine _ with. 

Abby jumps down and lands shakily, the unstable elevator shakes as she lands. The wolf looks up and offers her hand to Yara to help her down, the girl just shakes her head and awkwardly jumps down, her one arm cradling the other. Abby grimaces in sympathy pain, she of course doesn’t know what it feels like to have an amputated limb, but she sure as hell can imagine. 

“Let’s go.” The kid doesn’t look at Abby as she gets down to slide into the five or so foot drop. Without hesitation she drops down, Abby anxiously looks down a the drop starts to look further and further out of a fall. She sucks in a gulp of air, if a girl younger than her and amputated can do than so can she. 

She lands in a crouch. 

Yara stares up at her from the bottom of the stairs, already standing on solid ground. Abby quickly gets up from her crouch and lightly sprints in the direction Yara is waiting for her. 

“So uh… how are we going to find Lev in one piece?” 

Still running ahead of her, Yara slows down to answer her question. “There are blind spots that we can sail the boat into. From there we will follow the back roads, the scouts shouldn’t see us.” 

_ What Issac would do to have that kind of information about the Scars.  _

They come upon an abandoned subway car, Yara easily slides in through the slightly cracked open door. Abby’s larger frame struggles a bit to enter the car. Yara immediately heads down to where the car opens to the other side but Abby hangs back to double check that there isn’t any undetected supplies. “Any chance Lev will change his mind?” 

“None. He’s too much like our mom. Stubborn and loyal to a fault.” 

Their mom again. Abby doesn’t know why, but everytime she is brought up Abby feels as if there is no doubt something that Yara is hiding about her from Abby. What she said in the Aquarium truly proves that as well, evading her questions continuously. 

The blonde truly hopes she doesn’t fuck it up by asking these questions, but she figures that it would be easier to start off less invasive to hope to slowly ease Yara into revealing the truth. 

“Your mom must be amazing if Lev wants to risk his life to try and go save her.” A box of shotgun ammo, parts and some supplements are all the car gives to Abby. Nothing she can complain about as she makes her way to where Yara waits. 

She sees the girl thinking on how she wants to respond to her statement, her eyes look far off. As if she is remembering something. 

“Our mom adopted us when I was twelve and Lev was nine. Our parents died when I was sever, Lev and I were in Haven’s orphanage for some time before our mom found us.” 

So the siblings' mother isn’t  _ actually  _ their mother. Strange, with how loyal and protective each of them are to her. Abby didn’t even know that the Scars had an orphanage, or even allowed adoption…  _ oh god. What if Abby killed their parents?  _

_ No… no it would have been before Abby arrived in Seattle. Probably.  _

Before Abby can think of a response, they come upon a drop off into a broken down and flooded road. Abby alerts Yara in the direction of where they need to be going and doesn’t wait for a reply, slidely gracefully down the muddy incline. 

“Just try to keep that arm dry.” 

She hears a scoff underneath Yaras breath followed by an almost silent “Too late…” 

The medical experience instilled in Abby by her father cringes, knowing the dangers of infection and breaking the stitches that the water poses to her injury. Her long legs trudge through the cold water, she forces herself to stop every so often when she passes a car to peak inside for parts or ammo. Things that you could never have too much for in this world. 

A soft grunt followed by the sound of metal screeching causes Abby to turn around, concerned for what is causing those sounds. Her eyes quickly focus on Yara struggling to open a sewer grate one-handed. 

Abby drags herself through the water, her entire lower half becoming absolutely soaked, her toes curl up inside her boots. She gets up behind Yara as she struggles, she reaches around her and gently hip bumps her away. “Here, let me get it.” 

With a  _ small _ amount of struggle, she holds the sewer grate open for Yara to climb through it. The blonde quickly follows behind the younger, the heavy metal falling closed behind them with a muffled clang. 

She sucks in a breath of air and almost gags, the rot and mold smell assaults her senses, her face twists into a grimace. Abby tries to breathe through her mouth instead of nose, trying to keep the wretched stench out of her senses. 

Yara has already dropped down into the lower section of the sewer, leading closer to the marina. Abby scrambles her large body to catch up with the nimble girl, she stands leaning against the damp wall looking agitated and nervous as she waits for Abby to push open the sewer grate that will let them out of the rancid smelling area they are currently enclosed in. 

Abby practically kicks the metal open, the old and fragile door practically breaking underneath her powerful kick. They duck underneath and quickly crawl out of the system, coming out into a shallow blocked off pool of salty ocean water. The dark waves crash against the rocks and debris that blcok them off, water spraying into where they stand. 

“It should be just around here. We are taking a different route but we should be close kid.” Abby isn’t sure if she is trying to reassure Yara or herself, the girl looks back at her with a nervous look in her eye. Anxious to find her baby brother. They round a corner and Abby see’s the marina, the dock sitting in front of them. “Boats are across the water over there! We just have to get up to the road and go around.”

Yara’s steps speed up as much as her own stamina and the water will let her, wanting to get closer to her goal. “Okay! Sounds good!” 

They come upon the fenced off dock a few feet above them, something that Abby could very easily jump over. Yara stands still, her one arm gripping the bar. Arm shaking in exhaustion, quickly and without saying anything Abby vaults herself over the fence and turns around. She sees Yara struggling to get over, the blonde reaches around Yara and helps pull her over the fence. 

The small dock has a ladder leading up to the street, Abby walks up to it and reaches up to grasp the rung. Almost the instant her hand touches the rung she hears the loud sound of a rifle. Her body goes cold and she freezes. She turns back to Yara with a stern look on her face, “Stay on the dock kid, I’ll go get a boat and bring it around to you.” 

Yara looks at Abby insulted, “No! I can help.” She argues. 

“Not with this.” A firm and unwavering response that Isaac would be proud of. “I got it, okay?” 

Hesitantly Yara nods, she knows that she would just hinder Abby. Especially with her healing arm. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to help the woman who saved her life countless times help save her brother, but instead of saying anything she just steps back and allows Abby to climb up the ladder. 

\----

“How many are there Joe?” Nicky’s smooth voice breaks the silence that has only been interrupted by his occasional gunshots. 

“Originally about twenty, I think you’ve gun downed most of them.” 

Nicky just gives his love a hum in response, not wanting to divert his attention away from the road leading to where they are stationed at the marina. He stares down his scope and sees a dark head peak out from behind a car, his finger quickly squeezes his trigger. The WLF ducks just in time that his shot misses. 

He lets out a murmured curse under his breath, nothing loud enough that Joe could hear, just something that slips out. Nicky continues to stare down his scope, hoping to find an opening to finally pick off the last of the soldiers that have been on their way to Joe and himself. 

A flash of blonde causes him to drift sharply to his right, he sees the small figure of what he believes to be a man with long hair tied back in a braid running towards the leftover WLF soldiers. Nicky quickly takes a shot, not necessarily expecting to make it but a more of a cautionary shot to the newcomer. 

They, as expected, dodge out of the way and finally make their way to their comrade. Nicky finally looks away from his scope to look up at Joe, his beautiful face angled down at the small surviving group that has now started yelling at one another, something that he can distantly pick up through the broken windows in front if him. The wind acting in their favor. 

He hears the distant  _ “Move forward!”  _ a second before the group actually starts to make their way forward. 

  
  


Nicky readjusts himself and levels his scope down to the group, anticipating their movement forward. Quickly four of the soldiers from the original group plus the soldier that just recently arrived made five leftover WLF’s for Nicky to take care of. 

The newest one diverts from the group and dives underneath a semi, allowing them to get away undetected. Nicky quickly moves his scope to the original four and fires another shot, picking off the straggler as the three in front of them dive for cover. 

Four more to go. 

The soldier that dove underneath the semi pops up again in Nickys vision, on the other side of the road.  _ How the fuck did they make their way across without alerting Joe or I?  _

“Nicolo, love, they’re heading into the parking garage.” Joe warns him, something that he is thankful for but already aware of. 

“I'm going to shoot out the windows, I’m pretty sure that I heard infected when we made our way across earlier.So hopefully the sound of glass will draw themout and they can pick eachother off.” 

Joe nods, his thought process obvious to Nicky. He is apprehensive on if that will truly work, or if it would just be a waste of time. “What are you thinking love?” 

“This could very easily backfire on us, say they get through the garage with minimal to no injuries, they enter from behind us and can ambush us.” 

He has a good point, this may have been a fool proof plan ten or twenty years ago when the infected were new and the people inexperienced in fighting. But the soldiers down there have been trained to fend off infected. 

“Do you say we should move inwards or stand point but remain alert from behind rather than keeping an eye on the road.” 

Yusuf grimaces but squares his shoulders, seeming to have his solution. “I say I head back to where the parking garage is to potentially pick off a few more before they make their way here. You stand watch on the road with your rifle.” 

Nicky knows that Joe’s idea is the most reasonable, they can’t remain next to each other in these types of missions all the time. It’s impractical and a waste of a second position. However, just because he knows that it is the reasonable decision doesn’t mean he agrees with it. “You know I don’t like it when we separate. What if something happens to either of us like Andy?” 

Joe steps forward and reaches down to where Nicky remains seated with his rifle, he bends his knees so he is crouched next to him. Joe’s hand grips the back of Nicky’s head and pulls his forehead to his own, their skulls rest against each other as they breathe in shared oxygen. 

Time pausing for them to bask in each others presence. 

“You are my everything Nicolo, nothing could keep me from you. Not even death herself.” Nicky can’t help but chuckle at his death comment. The amount of times they have died in eachothers arms and woken with a gasp and a cry proves his point even further. 

“Okay. Be careful and come back if need be.” Joe stands back up and smiles down at Nicky. He gives the smaller man a carres on the cheek, which Nicky leans into, his eyes closing briefly. The Italian turns his head to the side a bit and gives a small kiss on the palm of his lovers hand. 

“I will my love. Stay safe as well and keep an eye and ear out.” 

Nicky’s nod signals to Joe that it is time for him to head down and attempt to cut of the group on their way up to them. Blue eyes track the darker man’s body until he can no longer see his silhouette. 

Nicky turns back to his rifle and releases a shaky breath, he knows that Joe will be fine. They have been in worse situations and they have been separated bef3ore. But the fact that Andy has gone missing has sent Nicky into the beginnings of a panic that could be set off by any inconvenience. 

He tries not to think of what Joe could experience as he starts his way down to the parking garage. He tries not to think about where Andy could be, or what Joel and Booker are dealing with on their way towards the aquarium, or even how Nile is with the two kids in the theatre. 

_ No, no. None of those thoughts. _

He narrows his eyes and turns back to his scope, squinting one eye to allow him to stare through the small scope. He sees nothing on the road, no new soldiers coming in as reinforcement, no stray infected following the noise. All he has in his sights is an empty road. 

He sits there for a few minutes, hearing the distant sounds of gun going off, the sound reverberates through the parking garage so much that it becomes distorted by the time it reaches Nicky’s ears. 

He gives up on keeping an eye on the road when he hears the hard pounding of footsteps making their way up the staircase that leads to the walkway that Nicky has been camping in. There are too many footsteps and they are too heavy to belong to his Yusuf, something that makes him freeze for a split second before he jumps to work and starts to pack up his stuff. 

He swings his rifle over his shoulder and stuffs the boxes of ammo into his bag, rushing to move further inwards. He vaults himself over a barrier that blocks his way just in time as he hears the sound of a gun going off and then subsequently hits the concrete wall beside him. 

Nicky turns around quickly and spontaneously aims his rifle, letting a shot off into one of the soldiers. They go down, tripping two of the other soldiers, the blonde one that came to the party late ducks behind a crate. 

His vision of the soldiers disappears as he turns the corner and starts running down the broken escalator. His thoughts frantic on where Joe is. They had to have killed him, otherwise either they would be dead or with him. Oh god, he is going to wake up without Nicky there. 

That means one of the soldiers chasing him gunned Joe down.  _ Oh they  _ fucked  _ up.  _

As soon as Nicky turns the other corner he quickly hides behind an old table. He decides to stick with his rifle but opts to take the scope off, this close range his accuracy will be perfectly fine without it. 

Nicky peaks from behind the corner and lets off another shot. He is unsure if he made the hit or not, the small group quickly advancing on him. The immortal draws in a semi-nervous gulp of air and releases another loud gunshot, the fast metal makes a loud clang as it hits metal. Indicating that Nicky missed,  _ again _ . 

Without a second glance at the group he makes the decision to fall back, he may be able to take on the group on his own but he doesn’t know the condition that Joe is in and doesn’t want to risk anything. 

He quickly sprints around a corner and sees a partly open metal gate leading into an old restaurant. He slides underneath and slams the gate behind him. As soon as the heavy and cold metal slams shut, the sound reverberates throughout the dark restaurant that Nicky is hiding out in. 

He leans against the wall, straining his ears to hear what the WLF’S are planning. He heaves, sucking in gulps of air, absolutely exhausted. He reaches back into his bag and grabs his flask of water. He carefully gulps down as much water as he dares, not wanting to drown his own lungs.

As soon as his thirst is quenched, Nicky shoves the canteen back into his bag. He sits and listens waiting to hear what the group is planning. 

“ _ Go around the back, flush him out!”  _

“ _ Go! Go! Go!”  _

Nicky smirks, knowing how to surprise them. He slowly turns around and lifts the gate just enough for him to crawl underneath. The cold concrete scrapes at his hands as he crawls, the small cuts healing almost immediately. 

His sniper-trained eyes zero in on the now diminished group of two. A man and a woman, the woman the blonde that ran in before they started making their way forward. 

Without hesitation Nicky brings his rifle up to his eye and squints, lining up a shot that would take both of the WLF’s out. It would be unfortunate that they won’t get information from them, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Nicky still needs to go find Joe, he doesn’t have time to worry about  _ information _ . 

His cold fingers squeeze the trigger, as soon as the small piece of lead flies through the air the woman ducks out of the way. The man falls with a hard thud, his blood having sprayed onto the woman’s. 

She lets out a scream and ducks out of the way, vaulting herself into the restaurant that Nicky was just in. 

He stalks forward, his feet quick and quiet, ever the predator. 

The section that the girl jumped into is wide open, he easily vaults himself over. Landing on silent feet akin to a cat, the abandoned and desolate restaurant holds an eire aura. The very entrance of the restaurant is devoid of the girl, however Nicky spots a trail of blood. Undoubtedly from the man he killed. 

He glances around the place, the area that he entered through having the high ground on the woman. He spys an exit, the only exit available since the woman undoubtedly doesn’t want to double back. Nicky smirks, knowing that he will be able to trap her. 

The shadows keep him hidden as he makes his way to the exit, treading lightly and not wanting to make a sound. His trained ears pick up the sound of the woman undoubtedly crafting a handmade bomb to try and catch him off guard.

The Italian finally makes it to the exit, he can only pray that nothing is blocking the door. Or even God forbid that it is locked. He jiggles the door handle and lets out a string of thanks in a long forgotten language under his breath. 

He slowly opens the door and leaves it open, hoping to bait the woman to come through and throw her off her guard. Nicky stops for a second to breathe in the fresh air, as soon as the dewy and cold air hits him, the fact that Joe hasn’t returned throws an even more painful punch to his gut than anything he has ever felt physically. 

The sound of footsteps breaks him out of his worry, indicating that the woman has fallen for his trap. He rushes to get behind the door, as soon as he gets behind the door he hears the woman right on the other side of it. 

He shoves the door into her, whipping out and ramming her face in with the butt of his rifle. She goes down with a yelp of surprise. The younger scrambles to get on her feet, unfortunately for her, Nicky is much too fast for her to even attempt at throwing up her defenses. 

As soon as she gets her feet under her and stands, Nicky wrestles the woman up against the fence blocking her from falling into the raging ocean below. She grunts out in pain, her face screwed up in anger. Aggression shining in her eyes, a threat against Nicky. 

Before he can force her over the fence Nicky is stunned by a blade going into his chest, directly into his heart. Causing him to bleed out. 

The pain is a familiar pain, he has died this way many times before and he will probably die that way many more times afterwards. He stands still for a second as the woman attempts to shove him over the fence, throwing him into the ocean. 

He feels gravity pulling him downwards, into the cold and dark ocean. The last thing he sees before he succumbs to death is the worried face of Joe jumping in after him. 

  
  


\---

“Quyhn, we need to leave. We need to escape out of here.” Andy, what she goes by this day as she has told her, whispers under her breath. Something only Quyhn could hear, their cell surrounded by Seraphites ensuring they do no such thing. 

“... We can’t?” She whispers back, not wanting to draw the attention of her ex-disciples over to them. 

Andromache gently cups her face, the two women not having any desire to let each other go incase of them disappearing. “My heart, yes we can. We are so unbelievably strong together. They aren’t prepared.” 

Quyhn feels as if she can’t breath, her mind going back to that equally dark and humid cell in long gone England. Similar words that were spoken between them during those days. She isn’t sure if she can believe the woman in front of her. 

“How?” Her voice comes out as an anxious mumble, her eyes downwards cast. Not wanting to look the other woman in the eyes, but unwilling to leave her warm and familiar touch. 

“Trust me?” 

“No matter what.” 

“Good.” 

  
  
  


Quyhn has to continuously stop herself from overthinking their escape, otherwise she knows that she’ll psych herself out of the plan that Andromache gracefully came up with. Her internal clock informs her that soon they will have to jump into action, thankfully Quyhn’s better half knew that the only way to make the other woman comfortable was to give time for her mind to settle on the idea that they  _ can,  _ in fact, do it. 

The vietnamese woman knows that she needs to pull herself together, Andromache needs her to, her  _ kids _ need her to. She just can’t help the constant onslaught of previous memories of a similar situation that ended with her in the ocean for hundreds of years. 

She knows that she can do it, that they can get out of the shadily built prison the Seraphites have built. She has lived with them for  _ years,  _ she knows the ins and outs of most of the buildings and routines. She has the knowledge of the paths that stray away from the guards paths, she knows the blind spots of where they can find a boat and sail away. 

The smaller woman sits up straighter, her resolve sealed, ready to leave this wretched place and see the rest of her family. To find her babies. 

She wants to stand up and pace around, get moving and try to extinguish her left over anxious energy. However she looks back down at Andromache and doesn’t have the heart to move her, the woman having fallen asleep while allowing Quyhn to calm down by holding her. 

Her beautiful face lies squashed on the dark brown pants that dons Quyhns legs, most likely stained with blood and holds the horrid reek of dried sweet and strong tones of copper. Her short hair, much shorter than the last time those so many centuries ago, sits around Andromaches head as if a brown halo surrounds herself. 

Quyhn could watch the older woman forever if she could, but the deep and reverberating call of the warning horn shocks her to the core of her bones. 

_ This is perfect.  _

Gently and yet urgently Quyhn shakes Andromache’s shoulder, alerting her to the now change of plans. The woman reacts almost instantly, her head pops up and her muscles tense, ready for any possibility for a fight. 

When she sees no immediate threat, her eyes fall back onto the woman that Andromache was currently sprawled across. Her thighs stradling the smaller woman, one arm grips Quyhn’s shoulder as the other searches for a weapon.

“The ‘intruders spotted’ horn went off!” She practically mouthed, almost no sound coming out of her. Too scared of alerting any guards to their plans. “We need to prepare for anything, we might be able to make a run for it earlier than anticipated.” 

Andromache nodds, a grin slowly creeping onto her face. Her eyes shine with a ferocity that Quyhn had no idea she even missed. The woman quickly stands up, pulling Quyhn up onto sore and numb legs. Andromache keeps her firm hold on the woman as she attempts to regain her balance and the feeling that was lost in her legs.

“We need to wait till our guards leave,” Andromache glances behind Quyhn, the door to their prison sitting behind her back. “From the sounds outside it won’t be too long.” 

Her hearing finally catches up to what is happening around her, the familiar sound of shrill whistles alerts drags Quyhn’s attention back to the events outside their tiny and cold cell. She hears the calls of Seraphites barking orders at one another, what used to be under Quyhn’s organized and efficient control has now fallen into complete uncontrollable chaos. 

The distraction of what is no doubt WLF’s attempting to raid the island which thankfully creates the perfect fog for the two women to escape; their prior plan thrown into the wind, just as any plan should be expected to go. 

They don’t even bother with discussing a plan, their minds and bodies already in sync with one another. Andromache darts towards the cell door and leans her ear onto the wooden door, listening intently for the status of their guard. 

Quyhn stays still, too anxious to risk making a sound, Andromache leans against the solid force with her eyebrows furrowed. Concentration fully on making a clean escape. What feels like hours to Quyhn but was most likely only a minute or so, Andromache finally pulls away from the door and nods at Quyhn, indicating that whoever has stood guard has finally left. 

An unknown weight that sat on Quyhn’s chest vanishes, she is suddenly glad that the Seraphites have been in a power-hungry vacuum since she defected. Each Seraphite has been going on their own semi-similar agenda. 

Andromache quickly walks abckwards to the back of their small cell, her intention clear on trying to break down the door. 

She runs forward and harshly slams her entire body into the door, attempting to use her momentum to break whatever locking mechanism the Seraphites deemed effective for the near-immortals. 

Her body makes contact with a loud crack of what was no doubt a few bones breaking and the wooden beam that kept them prisoner. The door swings open with an almost inferior speed compared to the force the woman used. 

Quyhn rushes forward to catch Andromaches body, the woman could tell that the broken bones she received from the blow to the door caused her immense pain. The older woman gives herself a few seconds to catch her breath and let her body force the bones back together before she sprung back up into action, leaving the soft but yet callused hands of Quyhn. 

Andromache stalks forward, leaving the painful and regressive memories of another time into the fiery chaos that currently surrounds their cell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to apologize for how long it's taken me to write and get this chapter out, unfortunately it isn't the end yet. so im sorry if anyone was expecting the problems to be wrapped up at this point. i cant promise at all if by friday i'll have an update out, or even by next friday. i think at this point i might just update them as i finish, since i am so close and i have been very infrequent about my update schedule. 
> 
> i will say i have everything planned out, all the way up till a possible sequel the only thing holding me back rn is myself and lack of motivation. please don't worry yall, i WILL finish this. just not as fast as i am planning.
> 
> EDIT: i have a suprise surgery next week (dec 22nd) which unfortunately will put me out of commision for what is hopefully only a week, could even be less! but that means im going to try to grind out a few chapters until then but like what happens happens, and as my one of my loyal readers mentioned "The famous Library of Alexandria wasn't built in a day" so like, there's that


	21. on my own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from 'Born Alone Die Alone' Elle King

The threat of a storm hangs over their heads, a constant and cold mist rests on the destroyed roads of Seattle. The journey towards the aquarium has felt slow and impractical, the amount of weaving around flooded areas and WLF’s and infected areas that Booker and Joel have had to navigate around almost makes Joel want to rip his hair out in frustration. 

The amount of times that they have had to jump into water to swim across a god-damned flooded road makes Joel wish that he could just blow Seattle off of the fucking map. 

“Are you sure that you’re okay with leaving Ellie without saying goodbye?” And he has to deal with the shit that Booker continues to give him. Unrelenting in his attack against him, trying to pry open Joel’s defenses. 

The elder-looking man says nothing and continues forward, hoping down further into the building that him and Booker have crawled into. The floor has given out, creating an almost staircase like effect for going deeper into the unknown. 

“I don’ wanna talk ‘bout this Book.” A short and sharp response is all that Joel is willing to give to the other man. “She’s a big girl and can deal with it.” 

Joel can hear and almost  _ picture _ the man sighing overegateratedly, his dark eyes rolling with frustration. “I’m not talking about her dealing with it Joel, I’m talking about what could happen to  _ her _ .” 

Joel freezes, pausing for a second, his thoughts running wild at the one comment that Booker made. He quickly puts the thought out with the fact that he left her at the theatre with Dina and Nile, she couldn’t be safer. 

He elects to not respond to Bookers comment, instead he continues his way down the broken floor into the lower level of the building. His feet land in a shallow pool of water and he clenches his jaw in frustration, the continued assault of water and becoming soaked bringing Joel to his breaking point. 

Trying to ignore how soaked his feet are becoming, even through his thick steel-toed boots, he turns around and sees that the only way forward is to crouch-walk through the path created by the broken down floor. 

Not caring if Booker is following him, which he most undoubtedly still is even though he hasn’t made another comment, Joel double checks that his flashlight is turned on before he crawls through. 

He almost makes it through the small tunnel until he sees something in the corner of his eye. Nothing truly of importance or even anything useful, he reaches his hand out and snatches the card. It’s one of the trading cards that Ellie has been collecting, and says something about a ‘Tanager’. Joel truly doesn’t understand the girls fascination with the cards but it's something that brings her joy and has been doing for  _ years _ . 

Joel quickly sets it somewhere safe in his bag, wanting to prevent the card from becoming too damaged by sitting around loosely in his bag packed full of weapons and other gear. He is very glad that Booker doesn’t make a comment about the useless card. 

Unfortunately for Joel, Booker however doesn’t want to drop their conversation. “Joel, I know we’ve had this conversation before. But you need to understand, for your own good, that it would be better if you accepted the fact that you  _ are _ going to lose Ellie, and you are going to lose her so much sooner than you could anticipate.” 

If Joel was being honest to himself, he knows that he is going to lose Ellie. Not for the fact that he has accepted the fact that he could very well just watch her die of old age at the same chance of her being killed because of his newfound  _ curse _ . No, he knows that he will lose Ellie because he loses anyone that he is remotely close to. Everyone that Joel ever cares about leaves him in one way or another. 

He still doesn’t respond to Booker, deciding if this man wants to make this a conversation then all of the weight will be on him, Joel carries enough of his own. Instead, Joel keeps moving further into the dark building. 

It seems that he traded out one puddle of water for an even bigger pool of cold and moldy water. The room they enter has about a foot of water just resting, the furniture no doubt becoming unstable. He quickly scavenges the room, finding a few spare parts and cloth. Nothing super useful but it is the end of the world, which means he can’t look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“Joel, you need to understand. Not only do we have this curse of an extended life, but we also live in a hellscape world where everything and everyone is going to kill you. You can’t protect her from everything,” Booker chuckles apparently finding something about this topic hilarious, “You especially can’t prevent her from being herself. I have known this girl for maybe a month but she is almost as reckless as Nile.” 

The comparison throws Joel for a loop for a second, unsure what Booker means by comparing the two. Until he remembers the story that the man told them that one night around the fire, Nile, the most recent immortal besides himself (something that he truly doesn't want to think about, because year-wise Joel is older than her by practically year and that’s it) and how she threw herself out of an over one-hundred-story building within the first few days of her immortality. 

_ Oh shit, he’s right. He’s fucking right about Ellie. She’s so fucking reckless and doesn’t care about her own being oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuc-  _

“Joel?” Booker seems to have realized that something he said resonated with the other man, since he has stopped in the middle of what now seems to be after finally entering the main section of the building, book store they’ve been making their way through. “You okay man? 

“You know what Joel,” Booker finally rids the distance between the two. Bridging an unknown gap between the two men, he lies his hand on the stunned man’s shoulder. “We can talk about this later tonight, I found some old bottles of whiskey in the theater that we can then deal with all this shit. Might even be able to convince the others to join.” 

The man in question shrugs his shoulders, giving the other man an implied ‘yes’ in the fact that he didn’t dispute his offer. 

“We need’ta find the aquarium.” 

Booker just nods and gestures upwards, indicating towards the broken down escalator, ready to move forward as well. 

Joel nods his head and marches himself up to what is now just a regular staircase as it has no power running into it. He moves swiftly upwards, not faltering until he has already made it onto the top floor and a few feet past the stairs when he sees the wrecked and destroyed bodies of the ‘Seraphites’. 

There lies two right next to each other, and a third only a few feet away from the first two. They seem to have been shot and killed as they were making their way out of the building, since only a few feet to the left of their bodies.

They seem to be in an unending cycle of traveling up and then down, up and then down, Joel sighs when he acknowledges the fact that they must make their downwards again. The exit that leads further into Seattle, leads to what is undoubtedly an even deeper pool of water, and hopefully the aquarium. Instead of complaining, something Joel hasn’t done since before the outbreak (or at least out loud), he makes his way downwards silently. 

Faster than Booker can follow the other man, he slips into the pool of cold water that reaches up to his mid-stomach. 

“Fuck.” He bites out, the shocking cold causes shivers to rush up his spine. 

Joel hears the distinct sound of a motorboat making its way towards them, he quickly checks behind him that Booker has noticed. Which of course the over two-hundred year old man is able to stay vigilant no matter the situation. They both dive under the water, staying hidden till they become hidden by an abandoned and overturned car that gives enough coverage that the men can keep an eye on the WLF without them being able to see them. 

Joel squints his eyes as he tries to track the boat as it disappears into a building on the far left. As if by luck Joel spots an entrance only a few feet ahead of them that would hopefully lead them into the building that the WLF group now resides inside of. 

A silent conversation happens between the two men and they make their way towards a ramp that leads towards their escape plan.

  
  


\-------

Ellie wakes up with her arms around her girlfriend, her eyes slowly blink open and she is startled that she was woken by the bright and piercing light of the  _ Sun _ . A sun covered by clouds but undeniably the golden-orange, warm sun that is never changing. Her brain runs as fast as it can, trying to think of why Joel would let her sleep in when they have a mission that  _ should  _ have been started in the early morning even before the sun was up and - 

_ Oh. That Rat-Bastard.  _

As soon as the realization hits the young woman she unravels her arms from around Dina and pulls her converse on over her socked feet, the black material so worn out that it looks like a dark grey. 

With one more look over at Dina, Ellie stands and grabs her pack from beside the couch the couple were using as a bed. The pregnant woman remains unconscious as her girlfriend leaves the room, the old door makes near to no sound as she creeps her way out. 

The hallway leading into the backstage of the theatre remains dark, even with the early afternoon sun that woke Ellie up, as she makes her way through and to the front.

While she knows what to expect when she exits the large and deserted part of the theatre, she is hoping that by any chance her suspicions can be disproven. The large and intimidating wooden doors loom overhead, she dreads what sits behind it, or the lack of  _ someone  _ behind the door. 

Ellie shoulders the door open, praying that she spots the rough looking image of Joel when she steps through. 

“That motherfucker.” 

Her green eyes quickly scan the room, even though she knows that Joel is missing from the room, missing from the building. She turns around alarmed when Ellie notices a shadow in the back of the room, her fingers teasing her pocket knife for the split second before she realizes who the shadow belongs to.

The woman that they ran into while trying to save Joel and Booker, the woman who introduced them to three more  _ immortals,  _ the woman that seems to be sitting and waiting for Ellie to come further into the room. 

Ellie doesn’t move forward, meaning that if Nile wants to not yell across a room to talk that she has to get up and make her way towards the younger woman, and Nile does just that. She pushes off the wall and in a few quick strides the youthful looking woman makes her way till she is only a few feet in front of Ellie. 

Ellie feels as if she is steeping in her anger, the woman approaching her doesn’t help with her rage. 

“So, I’m assuming you know that Booker and Joel left.”

They way she says that sentence snaps the last string that was holding the nearly unhinged woman and she snaps. 

“Yeah, no fucking shit I noticed that it’s mid-fucking-day and I just woke up to an empty theatre with only you!”

Nile seems unfazed by her outcry, an air of indifference surrounds the woman so much that it causes the anger within Ellie to boil even hotter. 

“Listen kid, some of us tried to convince Joel to not leave without at least telling you but he didn’t listen.” 

Ellie doesn’t know the proper way to process her emotions in that moment, so much in her life has changed and everything that she has known has been flipped over and reversed in the past few months that any previous emotional coping mechanisms that she learned (which was very few and far between, Joel truly is a horrible role model) to remain calm in such situations has flown the coop that is her brain. She has reverted back to screaming, kicking, and fighting when things no longer go her way. 

The small woman puffs up and attempts to square up to the older and darker woman standing in front of her. “You need to tell me where he went, I need to go help him.” 

Nile shakes her head, her braided hair following the direction of her movement. “Ellie, you know Joel wouldn’t want you to follow him” 

“You don’t know him like I do! He might need back up!” 

“He left with Booker, Ellie. They are both grown men that  _ can’t die.  _ They don’t need back up, they, more specifically  _ Joel, need _ to know that you are safe.” 

Ellie doesn’t say anything else, she instead throws any common sense she may own out the window and throws herself at Nile. Her fist raised in the air ready to strike a punch at the taller woman. Nile sees the girl throw herself at her and sighs, she quickly sidesteps the punch and hears the huff of annoyance slip out of the younger girl. 

The red-head spins around on the heels of her feet and turns to face the other woman, she grits her teeth and attempts to run at her again. Nile very quickly puts a stop to the younger’s outburst, she wrangles the smaller woman into a head lock while trying to prevent any damage or injuries. Ellie yelps out in pain as Nile pulls her arm in an unnatural position, causing the younger to freeze unless she otherwise wants to risk pulling her shoulder out of the socket. 

  
“Listen Ellie,” The voice that Nile uses is at such a low octave that Ellie has to strain her ears to properly hear what the woman is attempting to tell her. “Joel entrusted me to  _ babysit _ you and Dina so he can feel confident out there without worrying about his girl. Does that work with you?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops, sorry yall :)

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: 11/02/2020 I HAVE CHANGED THE CONTENT OF CHAPTER ONE AND A FEW DETAILS OF THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS FOR THINGS TO MAKE SENSE ON WHERE I PLAN ON TAKING THIS FIC. I WILL LEAVE A SUMMARY OF WHAT HAPPENED FOR READERS THAT DO NOT DESIRE TO REREAD THE FIC AT THE START OF THE NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> lastly - follow me on tumblr if you wanna bother me about anything or remind me to update if i forget @r-lillies
> 
> i have also made a playlist that i play while writing this (and sometimes in the car because its a VIBE) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6QTiXPPrJ9TZ9Rzrkxufjf?si=51RvvNd3Q9O1xjMc9ufzRg


End file.
